Kids attending church service?

[Anonymous]

How old were your kids when you started taking them in the church service with you and staying the whole time? My church lets them leave to go to kids church midway through, but I’d love for my 6 and 8 year olds to get used to sitting with us and listening to the sermon some of the time.

[Anonymous]

My kids were 6 when they started sitting through a regular mass.

[Anonymous]

Middle school.

[Anonymous]

It's really up to you. Does it matter to you if they are there and bored? Is it just their presence want? Then you can do this any time.

[Anonymous]

Babies but our (Catholic) church never offered a child care/Sunday school alternative

[Anonymous]

It’s a habit I want to start! Know they probably don’t understand everything yet, but want to be able to talk about the sermon after with them as a family too.

[Anonymous]

3-4. Nursery ended at 3 and there was no children's ministry in the summer so during the summer they were there for the duration. We're Anglican so it wasn't a short service, either. But since everyone else was in the same boat there wasn't an expectation of complete silence or anything.

In my experience the earlier you rip off the bandaid and just decide you are going to make it work, the better. Take them as infants and do what it takes to be there, even if you are holding your kid in a hallway somewhere because they hate the nursery.

And another tip as someone with kids now in elementary school and middle school - in as much of a behaviorally appropriate way, make them participate in the service. By preschool they should be able to sit with a quiet toy or two or three, but in a non-distracing way. You just have to keep an eye on it and enforce that. By early elementary school age they should be able to do some of the liturgy (singing, standing, reciting, sitting, kneeling along with the congregation depending on how much of that your congregation does) and then doodle/copy some notes you write during the sermon. Once my kids could write I would write each major point on a page for them to copy - it keeps them occupied and teaches them how to identify the major points. By mid-elementary they can move to taking their own notes. It's great practice for school. Then you can ask them about the notes in the car. It's totally fine if they are also doodling in their notebook quietly just as long as they are also generally listening.

Families who bring their 6th grader to church only to have them reading a novel during the sermon baffle me. If your kid can sit through middle school language arts they can pay attention to a sermon. This is, of course, barring special needs (those kids should still absolutely be there and with whatever accomodations it takes).

[Anonymous]

I always kept mine with me. It’s hard, though. I help other moms with their little ones, to keep them engaged and occupied. Hunting the hymns ahead of time with special bookmarks, raising a finger every time they hear a word (Jesus, holy, God, etc), drawing a picture of what they are hearing or seeing in the sanctuary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always kept mine with me. It’s hard, though. I help other moms with their little ones, to keep them engaged and occupied. Hunting the hymns ahead of time with special bookmarks, raising a finger every time they hear a word (Jesus, holy, God, etc), drawing a picture of what they are hearing or seeing in the sanctuary.

When mine were preschool aged we had dear friends whose kids were high school and older. The mom taught me a lot of tricks like this, and sometimes would even have my kids sit with her so I could focus for a little while. Thank you for what you do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a habit I want to start! Know they probably don’t understand everything yet, but want to be able to talk about the sermon after with them as a family too.

I was going by age four and can assure you I never once listened to the sermons. If my parents tried to talk to me about it I got furious- it was bad enough I had to sit through that boring crap the first time. They forced the issue until I was 13. I’ve never been back since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a habit I want to start! Know they probably don’t understand everything yet, but want to be able to talk about the sermon after with them as a family too.

I was going by age four and can assure you I never once listened to the sermons. If my parents tried to talk to me about it I got furious- it was bad enough I had to sit through that boring crap the first time. They forced the issue until I was 13. I’ve never been back since.

Did you do anything faith related at home? Pray with your family? Read the Bible?

I grew up in the church and still attend. I know people who are definitely (and defiantly) no longer believers, but none who reacted like this from a young age. I know some kids who really didn't enjoy church when they were quite young, but they all came around. In some cases parents moved churches for their kids, though, to help.

But these were homes where faith was core and central, not just an "only on Sunday" thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a habit I want to start! Know they probably don’t understand everything yet, but want to be able to talk about the sermon after with them as a family too.

I was going by age four and can assure you I never once listened to the sermons. If my parents tried to talk to me about it I got furious- it was bad enough I had to sit through that boring crap the first time. They forced the issue until I was 13. I’ve never been back since.

Did you do anything faith related at home? Pray with your family? Read the Bible?

I grew up in the church and still attend. I know people who are definitely (and defiantly) no longer believers, but none who reacted like this from a young age. I know some kids who really didn't enjoy church when they were quite young, but they all came around. In some cases parents moved churches for their kids, though, to help.

But these were homes where faith was core and central, not just an "only on Sunday" thing.

I was forced to participate in religious stuff at home on a regular basis, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always kept mine with me. It’s hard, though. I help other moms with their little ones, to keep them engaged and occupied. Hunting the hymns ahead of time with special bookmarks, raising a finger every time they hear a word (Jesus, holy, God, etc), drawing a picture of what they are hearing or seeing in the sanctuary.

Force them to pay attention. They will thank you later. All children are malleable and will believe whatever you tell them, for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babies but our (Catholic) church never offered a child care/Sunday school alternative

Same here. I let them bring small quiet toys until kindergarten. After kindergarten I let them color during services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Babies but our (Catholic) church never offered a child care/Sunday school alternative

Same here. I let them bring small quiet toys until kindergarten. After kindergarten I let them color during services.

after kindergarten, I let mine drown in boredom. They should experience church as adults do.