Daughters on spectrum?

[Anonymous]

What age were you diagnosed? what are some signs you saw? How has your experience been socially with friendships with other girls?

[Anonymous]

My daughter was diagnosed at age 5; she's 18 now. She briefly had a female friend in 4th grade, but never before or after that. Girls' friendships are too much based on social communication, and she can't keep up.

Signs at diagnosis included frequent emotional dysregulation, almost complete disengagement from peers, and insistence on routines. No language delay, although she rarely spoke outside the house.

[Anonymous]

My now 6 yo was diagnosed just before she turned 5.

As a baby around 9 months old she started stimming. She was a little late to talk (no words at 16 months but talking up a storm at home by age 2). As a toddler, she did not point. She also stopped talking at daycare, so we got treatment for selective mutism. Her play was very repetitive, often wanting us to repeat a script over and over again. She could get very dysregulated but her long meltdowns were fortunately not that frequent. She has always seemed very social, smiley as a baby, loved parallel play but struggled to progress to cooperative play. In preschool she would often follow friends around at the playground without really understanding what they were doing. She didn't know when to say hello or goodbye - she'd tell bye at friends that were busy doing something else and not paying attention to her.

Now she still stims, and rocks a bit at school. She can be rigid about routines. She has made friends in K and they seem to like her too. She has two besties, a boy and a girl.

[Anonymous]

16 year old DD diagnosed with autism at age 13. (Diagnosed with other things earlier)

She never made friends w/ typical peers, but now in a mostly ND setting she has tons of friends.

[Anonymous]

DD diagnosed 2e ADHD age 9, ASD age 11. Main symptoms were meltdowns and cognitive rigidity. Also very bright, always very social, even popular as a young kid because they were fun, but also very non conforming. The social angle caused all the teachers to say she was not autistic.

Middle school got along much better with boys than girls, I think because the boy social scene was simpler and more direct and the boys were less mature. Still social and non conforming at age 15. Not conventionally popular but has friends (boys, girls, non binary) most of whom are "quirky" in one way or another. Works well at a summer job that allows for independence and excels at school when she tries but doesn't always try. Hates group work.

Occasionally has shutdowns and burnout and just needs to retreat from the world. Getting better at rigidity but room to grow.

[Anonymous]

Our 16 YO was just diagnosed and it came out of the blue for us. She is experiencing emotional dysregulation and is very rigid in her thinking. She makes friends very easily but also loses them mostly because she digs in when she feels slighted or embarrassed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was diagnosed at age 5; she's 18 now. She briefly had a female friend in 4th grade, but never before or after that. Girls' friendships are too much based on social communication, and she can't keep up.

Signs at diagnosis included frequent emotional dysregulation, almost complete disengagement from peers, and insistence on routines. No language delay, although she rarely spoke outside the house.

Do you mean that she had no interest in her peers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 16 YO was just diagnosed and it came out of the blue for us. She is experiencing emotional dysregulation and is very rigid in her thinking. She makes friends very easily but also loses them mostly because she digs in when she feels slighted or embarrassed

What do you mean digs in?

[Anonymous]

there is no room to compromise with her it’s black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 16 YO was just diagnosed and it came out of the blue for us. She is experiencing emotional dysregulation and is very rigid in her thinking. She makes friends very easily but also loses them mostly because she digs in when she feels slighted or embarrassed

Similar story with us- diagnosed at 15. We've known that she has anxiety and though the friendship issues were related to social anxiety. She masks very well and "plays the part" of a teen girl with the makeup, clothes, sports, etc. so it was a bit of a surprise but did make some things make sense from when she was younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 16 YO was just diagnosed and it came out of the blue for us. She is experiencing emotional dysregulation and is very rigid in her thinking. She makes friends very easily but also loses them mostly because she digs in when she feels slighted or embarrassed

What do you mean digs in?

I know exactly what you mean, my DD 10 does this.

[Anonymous]

So what help did your daughters on the spectrum get? Does therapy help them? Medication? What helped?

[Anonymous]

We are starting with DBT and hoping this will help with the social issues. Also started an SSRI to help with anxiety and depression (older teen)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 16 YO was just diagnosed and it came out of the blue for us. She is experiencing emotional dysregulation and is very rigid in her thinking. She makes friends very easily but also loses them mostly because she digs in when she feels slighted or embarrassed

Similar story with us- diagnosed at 15. We've known that she has anxiety and though the friendship issues were related to social anxiety. She masks very well and "plays the part" of a teen girl with the makeup, clothes, sports, etc. so it was a bit of a surprise but did make some things make sense from when she was younger. [/quot

YES!!! Although she quits sports when they get hard or complicated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was diagnosed at age 5; she's 18 now. She briefly had a female friend in 4th grade, but never before or after that. Girls' friendships are too much based on social communication, and she can't keep up.

Signs at diagnosis included frequent emotional dysregulation, almost complete disengagement from peers, and insistence on routines. No language delay, although she rarely spoke outside the house.

Do you mean that she had no interest in her peers?

A combination of no interest and inappropriate interest.

At one playdate I took her to shortly before she was diagnosed, she spent the whole time pushing random buttons on her classmate's baby sister's toys and ignored her classmate. But she would also identify one classmate at a time as her friend, and for the several months they were "friends," follow that kid around -- not playing together, just hovering.