Other parent is irresponsible and selfish and it's hurting DC

[Anonymous]

DC's other parent can't get his life together and is selfish and ended up missing several doctor's appointments for DC so he could see his gf. On purpose, without letting me know so we could cancel. He has also told DC tutors were cancelled when they were not because he was too lazy to drive him. DC needs those tutors and wants those tutors.

All the cancellation fees (in the case of the tutors the full fees) are billed to me and we have had at least one doctor refuse to see DC any more due too many cancellations.

I try to really hard to get appointments on my days and mostly succeed but it's sometimes not possible, and the DC needs tutors on specific days that cannot be changed and one of them falls on the days DC is with the other parent.

Has anyone successfully argued getting full custody due to this type of lying and irresponsibility?

I just don't see how a grown person can claim they want custody of their child and act like this.

[Anonymous]

Before anyone jumps on me about the "tutors" DC has dyslexia so those tutors are necessary for our child to remain in regular school. DC is a teen so a nanny seems like overkill but maybe that's the solution? We don't really have the money for it but it makes DC really anxious to not have help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC's other parent can't get his life together and is selfish and ended up missing several doctor's appointments for DC so he could see his gf. On purpose, without letting me know so we could cancel. He has also told DC tutors were cancelled when they were not because he was too lazy to drive him. DC needs those tutors and wants those tutors.

All the cancellation fees (in the case of the tutors the full fees) are billed to me and we have had at least one doctor refuse to see DC any more due too many cancellations.

I try to really hard to get appointments on my days and mostly succeed but it's sometimes not possible, and the DC needs tutors on specific days that cannot be changed and one of them falls on the days DC is with the other parent.

Has anyone successfully argued getting full custody due to this type of lying and irresponsibility?

I just don't see how a grown person can claim they want custody of their child and act like this.

You are the problem. You should not be scheduling anything and telling Dad to take the child. You can ask him and if he agrees, then yes. You also should be doing the tutoring on your time or arranging it virtually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before anyone jumps on me about the "tutors" DC has dyslexia so those tutors are necessary for our child to remain in regular school. DC is a teen so a nanny seems like overkill but maybe that's the solution? We don't really have the money for it but it makes DC really anxious to not have help.

You have them do the tutoring virtually on dad's days.

[Anonymous]

Can you keep DC on tutoring days?
Frame it to your ex in the following way: look, it’s easier for the both of us if I drive him to the tutor, how about you have him on the weekend instead?
We have a convoluted custody agreement with my ex and I try to keep dc with me on the days he needs to be somewhere at a certain time esp in the mornings. It’s easier for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you keep DC on tutoring days?
Frame it to your ex in the following way: look, it’s easier for the both of us if I drive him to the tutor, how about you have him on the weekend instead?
We have a convoluted custody agreement with my ex and I try to keep dc with me on the days he needs to be somewhere at a certain time esp in the mornings. It’s easier for everyone

Op does not want to take the kid which is why she schedules it on his days without asking him, and then gets mad when he cannot do it. He may be working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC's other parent can't get his life together and is selfish and ended up missing several doctor's appointments for DC so he could see his gf. On purpose, without letting me know so we could cancel. He has also told DC tutors were cancelled when they were not because he was too lazy to drive him. DC needs those tutors and wants those tutors.

All the cancellation fees (in the case of the tutors the full fees) are billed to me and we have had at least one doctor refuse to see DC any more due too many cancellations.

I try to really hard to get appointments on my days and mostly succeed but it's sometimes not possible, and the DC needs tutors on specific days that cannot be changed and one of them falls on the days DC is with the other parent.

Has anyone successfully argued getting full custody due to this type of lying and irresponsibility?

I just don't see how a grown person can claim they want custody of their child and act like this.

You are the problem. You should not be scheduling anything and telling Dad to take the child. You can ask him and if he agrees, then yes. You also should be doing the tutoring on your time or arranging it virtually.

This.
Move on OP. Stop trying to be around your ex and controlling his life. He moved on.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. I don't have any expertise in this area, but I would definitely document, document, document, and consult with your lawyer.

It's heartbreaking that he can't be the parent that DC deserves.

[Anonymous]

Yeah OP, why would you assume the kid’s parent wants him to learn to read?!?

No, a custody change is unlikely. It will be cheaper to work it out with the other parent. Don’t schedule anything on the other parent’s time - it won’t happen no matter what. Maybe once DC can drive the other parent will let them drove themselves?

[Anonymous]

You don’t get any control of the schedule at dad’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP, why would you assume the kid’s parent wants him to learn to read?!?

No, a custody change is unlikely. It will be cheaper to work it out with the other parent. Don’t schedule anything on the other parent’s time - it won’t happen no matter what. Maybe once DC can drive the other parent will let them drove themselves?

There is clearly much more to this story. Maybe dad is working when she schedules it and she expects him to take off work and he can't. She should not be scheduling anything without his permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC's other parent can't get his life together and is selfish and ended up missing several doctor's appointments for DC so he could see his gf. On purpose, without letting me know so we could cancel. He has also told DC tutors were cancelled when they were not because he was too lazy to drive him. DC needs those tutors and wants those tutors.

All the cancellation fees (in the case of the tutors the full fees) are billed to me and we have had at least one doctor refuse to see DC any more due too many cancellations.

I try to really hard to get appointments on my days and mostly succeed but it's sometimes not possible, and the DC needs tutors on specific days that cannot be changed and one of them falls on the days DC is with the other parent.

Has anyone successfully argued getting full custody due to this type of lying and irresponsibility?

I just don't see how a grown person can claim they want custody of their child and act like this.

You are the problem. You should not be scheduling anything and telling Dad to take the child. You can ask him and if he agrees, then yes. You also should be doing the tutoring on your time or arranging it virtually.

Utterly and completely wrong^^. NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get any control of the schedule at dad’s house.

Control of the schedule? If the kid needs to go to the doctor, the kid needs to go to the doctor and the parent needs to take them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get any control of the schedule at dad’s house.

Control of the schedule? If the kid needs to go to the doctor, the kid needs to go to the doctor and the parent needs to take them there.

Then dad schedules it and takes him. If mom schedules it, she should take him. If he’s working, he may not be able to take off constantly at her will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get any control of the schedule at dad’s house.

Control of the schedule? If the kid needs to go to the doctor, the kid needs to go to the doctor and the parent needs to take them there.

Then dad schedules it and takes him. If mom schedules it, she should take him. If he’s working, he may not be able to take off constantly at her will.

Or, they can go to urgent care later if it’s not critical.