OLD — how many do you date at once?
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Anonymous
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I’m new to OLD but it seems set up to date many people at a time in rotation. How are people managing this? Do you start cutting after you reach a certain threshold and keep narrowing?
I never dated more than one person at a time in my 20s. At our age (mid-40s), people are busy and things take time to coordinate. I can’t really be dating one person at a time this casually because it would take forever to meet people. But right now I am talking to several nice people who I have been on at least one date with. It feels like I should try to have a max of 3-4 at any one time so it isn’t overwhelming. |
Anonymous
| My first summer single again in my late 30s was juggling three and it was exciting because they were all so different. Looking back I don’t know how/why I did it and it’s really one at a time, though I stay active with swiping/chatting until those first few dates feel solid and I deactivate. |
Anonymous
| I am a serial monogamist. What happens is I speak to several people and go on multiple dates. Then when with someone it is obvious we see it can go further, I don't bother communicating with others unless it fizzles. |
Anonymous
| One or two only. Because I do not have the mental capacity to remember who likes to cook Thai food, who is traveling to Kenya this Fall, who had that funny conversation with their boss…I sincerely try to get to know my dates and I would need a spreadsheet if I dated multiple men at once. |
Anonymous
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Not usually more than 10.
5 or so in the talking to/getting to know/0-10 date stage. That usually attrits down to about 3 in the mid-term dating stage up to about 6 mos. Then one or 2 in the > 6 mo/more serious stage. The numbers aren’t set in stone, but they usually hover around those levels during the cycle. |
Anonymous
Does this not communicating take the form of ghosting? If so, why? |
Anonymous
Do you sleep in parallel with 2-3 men in the mid-term or more serious stage ? They know about it ? |
Anonymous
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When I was dating it wasn't hard. I would meet 3!or 4 women a week. Some would interrogate me about how many other women I was going on dates with. Most of them didn't want to see me for a second date let alone a third date. They hate the competition and uncertainty. Of course, sometimes they weren't very into me for other reasons (and sometimes I wasn't into them). Fortunately most women go on dates with multiple men until they decide to be exclusive with one. Some of them NEVER actually decided to be exclusive.
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Anonymous
| Side note, use plenty of protection. The older people get, the odds of them having an STD increases, due to body count. |
Anonymous
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To the PP: as a woman, I don’t care with how many others he’s going out. Only care if he sleeps with someone in parallel as it means health risks for me. Protection alone doesn’t protect: it has to be a recent STD test+ condom for me to agree to sex. As I just don’t know anything about their other partners they might be f…ng until exclusive with me.
I myself never sleep with two men - always know for sure which one I want physically. And once I do, I stop going out with others. |
Anonymous
Uhh my cousin is 21 and she has been promiscuous since she was 16. Her body count is for sure high high mine not so just one. |
Anonymous
No. Usually it becomes obvious that chemistry is lacking, we both know it, and nobody expects further contact. To me, that is not ghosting. Or if someone reaches out, I will thank them for their time and say I don't see the potential for it to go further and wish them the very best with their search. |
Anonymous
But even if hers is high now, it will only be higher when she’s our age |
Anonymous
| What is OLD? |
Anonymous
| I went out on dates with as many people as I could and then when I found someone I really liked and wanted to sleep with I stopped seeing other people and focused on them. |