Boyfriend never compliments me anymore

[Anonymous]

Anyone else experienced this in a relationship before and if so, how did you handle it?

When I was first going out with my bf he would constantly compliment me, say nice things about me, tell me how smart I was, how pretty I was, etc. Now that we have been together for a year and a half he never compliments me anymore. I've pointed this out to him and his response was basically like, "Obviously I think you're nice and smart and pretty or I wouldn't be in love with you."

I truly can't remember the last time he said I looked pretty. We went to a wedding together a couple of weekends ago for his friend and he never said I looked nice. And I know I did because TWO of his friends' dads said I was pretty and multiple women stopped me to say they liked my dress. (I know keeping track of compliments makes it sound like I'm neurotic about this and you're going to be like "You're a psycho and I wouldn't tell you you're pretty either" but I was only paying attention specifically because he didn't say anything.)

I don't need him to praise me every five minutes but like, "Good job on that project at work" after I accomplish something hard or "You look pretty" on date night would be nice. At this point once a week would suffice. It honestly makes me feel like he's all about the pursuit and now that I'm his girlfriend he doesn't give a shit.

[Anonymous]

I just want to say that your feelings matter and that I understand you and can relate. It is very say in this situation to be gaslit into “why do you care about such petty stuff”, but these small things matter, they are often symptoms of other things.

[Anonymous]

Instead of pointing out to him that he doesn't compliment you, I think you need to directly tell him how it makes you feel. You're probably like me and words of affirmation mean a lot to you. I will take that over gifts any day of the week.

So just be direct with him about it. This is one of those easy things that will show you what your future could look like. If he doesn't bother putting in the effort to give you more compliments, it's a big red flag. That's a guy who doesn't really care about what you're asking of him and is unwilling to compromise or change anything to make you happy. Not good for a long term partner.

[Anonymous]

Practice what you preach.

[Anonymous]

Have another conversation with him.
Probably will feel more forced following ..