Handling very occasional bedwetting

[Anonymous]

My son is 10, nearly 11, and in 5th grade.

Developmentally I’d say he’s exactly where he should be in pretty much all regards, and he’s very mature for his age. When he was younger he potty trained pretty early, was reliably dry well before 3 and I could count any accidents in the later years on one hand.

He’s also never been a regular bedwetter, he was dry at night within a couple of months of potty training during the day, except for the odd accident. Now this has never worried me, I know most kids have accidents from time to time and always assumed he’d just grow out of it. But now he’s at an age where he wants to have sleepovers with friends, wants to be able to go on trips with school and his sports team, but is worried about having an accident and being embarrassed.

If it was a regular thing then it’d perhaps be easier to deal with as we’d be handling it all the time, but it’s very occasional and quite sporadic - literally half a dozen times in the past year, with no obvious rhyme or reason as to why it’s happened when it does. No especially late nights, no drinking more or later than normal, not around stressful times with school tests or similar, it just happens and then may not happen again for weeks or months.

This makes it really difficult to plan for, and as one accident did happen when he had a friend staying over he’s terrified this will happen again if he has a sleepover here or stays out, understandably as he’s at an age now where he feels really embarrassed by it and worried he’ll be made fun of.

Any suggestions greatly appreciated, as I don’t want him to miss out on experiences just because of an outside chance he’ll wet the bet, but at the same time wouldn’t want to put him in a position where he could be embarrassed if it did happen.

[Anonymous]

Spoosie pad in his underwear at sleepover bedtime?

[Anonymous]

I was for many years (5ish?) a camp counselor at a all-boys summer camp (then, it's since become co-ed).

I promise, your son is not alone. Cannot begin to tell you how many times I was up at 3am helping out a kid disguise a wet sleeping bag. It happens, parents just don't talk about it in the open much - so everyone assumes there's something wrong with *their* kid.

Has he had a growth spurt recently? Or has this been sort of a on/off thing for years? Normally, bedwetting is a hormonal issue, where the body isn't making enough of a anti-diuretic hormone that's naturally secreted overnight (called ADH, or vasopressin).

If he wasn't making enough of said hormone though, he'd likely be having more regular frequent nighttime accidents.

Because it sounds like it's just once in a blue moon for him, I honestly wouldn't let it stress you too much. It's just something kids deal with from time to time!

I wouldn't bother with them everynight, as it would be a huge waste if he's mostly staying dry. But - have you considered asking him how he feels about wearing one of the nighttime pull-ups to bed, if he's in a situation where accidents would be a problem? (on a trip, sleepovers, etc.)

They're very discreet, and he could simply slip one on in private just before bed, and no one would be the wiser.

https://www.amazon.com/GoodNites-Bedtime-Bedwetting-Underwear-Packaging/dp/B00U0NRI0W?th=1

[Anonymous]

Kids really don't care about bedwetting anymore, He could wear a pullup and even if someone noticed they probably won't say much if anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids really don't care about bedwetting anymore, He could wear a pullup and even if someone noticed they probably won't say much if anything at all.

I can't say this would apply to ALL kids, but - this PP's point is valid. Bedwetting doesn't seem to have the same social stigma that it did decades ago when we were growing up. Kids in my son's friend group have openly chatted about it before, without any care, in between arguing about Fortnite and minecraft.

[Anonymous]

MY DS had an accident last night. it did drink a bit more water, but also didn't go the bathroom before bedtime.

[Anonymous]

it might even be more common now than it was before, 3 of daughters friends were bedwetters in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it might even be more common now than it was before, 3 of daughters friends were bedwetters in middle school.

It's probably not any more common that it used to be, It just that there's less of a stigma so people don't try as hard to hide it as they used to.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all, it’s reassuring to hear that it’s something which seems to be more openly talked about in general, or at least something that tends to be viewed as less of an issue.

When he did have an accident with a friend staying over a few months back we just assumed his friend hadn’t picked up on what had happened, but perhaps he had and just didn’t see it as an issue.

I’m not sure the pads will quite cut it, but will have a talk with him to see whether he’s consider wearing a Goodnite just for peace of mind when around friends or sleeping away. Not sure what he’ll think, he’s not worn any kind of diaper or pull up since he was a toddler, but it’s probably a better option and easier to hide than wet sheets.

Hopefully as he’s getting older it’ll become less frequent and less of a worry.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn’t be a big deal for him to have a nighttime pull-up for just in case. Have him wear one at home just to test it out. That way it’s not such a big deal the next time he needs it. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Have you bought him some overnight pull-ups yet?

[Anonymous]

He can keep a pack of Goodnites in the bottom of his sleeping bag and put it on while he's in the sleeping bag if he doesn't want anyone to see.

[Anonymous]

My oldest daughter had an accident for the first time in months, she said she woke up when she started swimming in her dream, and noticed her jammies were a bit but her sheets were all dry.
She used to do it more often buts been doing way ebtter

[Anonymous]

OP

Sorry for the delay, life’s a bit crazy at the minute!

We’ve had a good chat, I mentioned pull ups and he was initially horrified at the idea, even saying that being seen wearing a “diaper” would be more embarrassing than somebody knowing he’d wet the bed. And I get it, whilst I as an adult don’t agree I suspect at 10 that’s how I’d have probably felt too. We didn’t use pull ups when he was potty training, so it’s probably been 8 years since he wore anything like that.

He did confide though that he finds his occasional accidents super embarrassing, and he had been terrified when it happened in front of his friend that everybody would find out and make fun of him, so he’s keen to find a solution for those times he wants to do sleepovers, school trips or spend the night with his cousins (I think he’s probably more scared of it happening around them than his school friends!). So we’ve reached a compromise and he’s agreed to try out a pair of absorbent pants than look like regular boxers, and some pyjama pants that are supposed to be waterproof. Very expensive, but really hoping they’ll work out for him, and money well spent if they do. I’ve ordered a pair of each and whilst he doesn’t need them at home (changing sheets every few months is no hardship, they’d be changed each week regardless) he’s going to alternate wearing them until the inevitable happens and we can see how they fare. It’s likely they won’t actually be out to the rest before he next sleeps away, but if not and anything goes wrong he’ll be no worse off than he would have been without them anyway. If/when we know they work, they’ll just be saved for those nights away.

What’s the betting he’ll grow out of them before they’re needs?! Ha

Thanks again for your help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP

Sorry for the delay, life’s a bit crazy at the minute!

We’ve had a good chat, I mentioned pull ups and he was initially horrified at the idea, even saying that being seen wearing a “diaper” would be more embarrassing than somebody knowing he’d wet the bed. And I get it, whilst I as an adult don’t agree I suspect at 10 that’s how I’d have probably felt too. We didn’t use pull ups when he was potty training, so it’s probably been 8 years since he wore anything like that.

He did confide though that he finds his occasional accidents super embarrassing, and he had been terrified when it happened in front of his friend that everybody would find out and make fun of him, so he’s keen to find a solution for those times he wants to do sleepovers, school trips or spend the night with his cousins (I think he’s probably more scared of it happening around them than his school friends!). So we’ve reached a compromise and he’s agreed to try out a pair of absorbent pants than look like regular boxers, and some pyjama pants that are supposed to be waterproof. Very expensive, but really hoping they’ll work out for him, and money well spent if they do. I’ve ordered a pair of each and whilst he doesn’t need them at home (changing sheets every few months is no hardship, they’d be changed each week regardless) he’s going to alternate wearing them until the inevitable happens and we can see how they fare. It’s likely they won’t actually be out to the rest before he next sleeps away, but if not and anything goes wrong he’ll be no worse off than he would have been without them anyway. If/when we know they work, they’ll just be saved for those nights away.

What’s the betting he’ll grow out of them before they’re needs?! Ha

Thanks again for your help

Are the pajamas call PeeJamas? If so, I hope you have better luck than we did. They were horrible for my son. We just went back to diapers. Also what kind of absorbant boxers did u order?