Supporting DS in his religious journey

[Anonymous]

DH and I are NOT religious. Both of us were raised Catholic and by the time we were teens were very turned off to the religion and by the time college came around were not believers. We both have our own beliefs now, DH tends to be more atheist, I tend to believe in a higher being of sorts.. everything happens for a reason type deal.

DS is 12. We've always supported his curiosity, for a long time he believed in the Greek Gods, which was definitely interesting in explaining to my Catholic mother. He now wants to attend our town's Methodist Church. DH and I want to support him with learning about this and seeing how he feels about this religion but I have NO idea how to go about it. He knows stuff about the Bible from his own research so he's not going in blind....but I feel a little awkward asking questions about joining the church when I'm not a believer. So I'm hoping there are some parents on here who may have supported their own child's journey into discovering religion without being religious themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are NOT religious. Both of us were raised Catholic and by the time we were teens were very turned off to the religion and by the time college came around were not believers. We both have our own beliefs now, DH tends to be more atheist, I tend to believe in a higher being of sorts.. everything happens for a reason type deal.

DS is 12. We've always supported his curiosity, for a long time he believed in the Greek Gods, which was definitely interesting in explaining to my Catholic mother. He now wants to attend our town's Methodist Church. DH and I want to support him with learning about this and seeing how he feels about this religion but I have NO idea how to go about it. He knows stuff about the Bible from his own research so he's not going in blind....but I feel a little awkward asking questions about joining the church when I'm not a believer. So I'm hoping there are some parents on here who may have supported their own child's journey into discovering religion without being religious themselves.

Assuming that he knows that his parents are not religious, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are NOT religious. Both of us were raised Catholic and by the time we were teens were very turned off to the religion and by the time college came around were not believers. We both have our own beliefs now, DH tends to be more atheist, I tend to believe in a higher being of sorts.. everything happens for a reason type deal.

DS is 12. We've always supported his curiosity, for a long time he believed in the Greek Gods, which was definitely interesting in explaining to my Catholic mother. He now wants to attend our town's Methodist Church. DH and I want to support him with learning about this and seeing how he feels about this religion but I have NO idea how to go about it. He knows stuff about the Bible from his own research so he's not going in blind....but I feel a little awkward asking questions about joining the church when I'm not a believer. So I'm hoping there are some parents on here who may have supported their own child's journey into discovering religion without being religious themselves.

Assuming that he knows that his parents are not religious, right?

Yes. He's always known we aren't religious and lately has asked more questions as to why we both left the Catholic religion, and we've been honest with him about our experiences.

[Anonymous]

I have a niece who is just more naturally curious about religion. Is there a friend, neighbor, or relative they can attend church with? I would focus on listening, showing interest, supporting, and asking questions out of genuine curiosity (about his thoughts, feelings and experiences).

[Anonymous]

The usual joke is that Methodists are strong on eating (fond of church suppers) and are not rigid about doctrine. Historically, the Methodist church in the USA was somewhat an offshoot of the Church of England. Methodism was founded by John and Charles Wesley, who were CoE priests in England.

In most mainline Protestant churches in the US, including a Methodist church, anyone is welcome to attend. One need not join or be a member to attend. I would suggest he just start attending and defer the question of joining until he is comfortable it is the right church for him.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend not trying to put him in any organized religious setting. Task him with reading websites that debunk the myths of any religion.

Your son is on the verge of his teenage years, when he will beging to feel more pressure from peers. A formal church setting will end up with him being brainwashed like many of the rest of the moronic masses.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks that's a good idea about asking a friend if he can join. Didn't want to risk offending them (by making it obvious we don't believe). DS has actually spent a lot of time looking into it and talking with one of his friends (who doesn't live in the area) about various religions. I don't want to discourage him despite my own opinions and do like his natural curiosities. He's always been like that, when my dad died when he was 7, he had this remarkable view on what happens after someone dies based off on what he'd learned about through all the various mythologies he'd always been interested in.

I have heard Methodist is much more accepting and welcoming. I do tend to overthink and the church I attended growing up was NOT the most welcoming, so I'm sure that's part of what is driving my thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks that's a good idea about asking a friend if he can join. Didn't want to risk offending them (by making it obvious we don't believe). DS has actually spent a lot of time looking into it and talking with one of his friends (who doesn't live in the area) about various religions. I don't want to discourage him despite my own opinions and do like his natural curiosities. He's always been like that, when my dad died when he was 7, he had this remarkable view on what happens after someone dies based off on what he'd learned about through all the various mythologies he'd always been interested in.

I have heard Methodist is much more accepting and welcoming. I do tend to overthink and the church I attended growing up was NOT the most welcoming, so I'm sure that's part of what is driving my thoughts.

Just about any church is more welcoming than the Catholic Church. Also, I wouldn't worry about offending Methodists with your lack of belief. It's a pretty liberal bunch.

[Anonymous]

Just take him to a service. It’s fine, no big deal. He’s curious. I wouldn’t make any more of it than that at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just take him to a service. It’s fine, no big deal. He’s curious. I wouldn’t make any more of it than that at this point.

Good advice. He's not looking for the One True Church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would recommend not trying to put him in any organized religious setting. Task him with reading websites that debunk the myths of any religion.

Your son is on the verge of his teenage years, when he will beging to feel more pressure from peers. A formal church setting will end up with him being brainwashed like many of the rest of the moronic masses.

And get him a few books on critical thinking.
Also have him read the website “why god won’t heal amputees”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks that's a good idea about asking a friend if he can join. Didn't want to risk offending them (by making it obvious we don't believe). DS has actually spent a lot of time looking into it and talking with one of his friends (who doesn't live in the area) about various religions. I don't want to discourage him despite my own opinions and do like his natural curiosities. He's always been like that, when my dad died when he was 7, he had this remarkable view on what happens after someone dies based off on what he'd learned about through all the various mythologies he'd always been interested in.

I have heard Methodist is much more accepting and welcoming. I do tend to overthink and the church I attended growing up was NOT the most welcoming, so I'm sure that's part of what is driving my thoughts.

I am a different religion but OP I would not be offended if someone's kid (who I knew well) wanted to attend services with us. Would be happy to try it and see how it shakes out over time.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to DO anything. Just take him to whatever church he wants to go to. Tell him he doesn’t have to “pick one” he can go one time or 10 times and then try a different one. Tell him he can stay the whole time or quietly leave 15 minutes in. Let him lead the way. Go with him if you want to, wait in the car if you don’t want to go in. 12 is old enough to go sit in church by himself, assuming he has basic manners. If they ask him if he wants to join the kids church he can say yes or no, (but sometimes parents have to sign them in/out if it’s in a separate area). Don’t overthink it.

[Anonymous]

You said that he believed in the greek gods but implied that he now doesn't? What let him to realize it was a myth? Why don't you also teach him that all religions are myths?

If you want to give him a level of spiritual guidance with less of the religious aspect, try secular Buddhism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said that he believed in the greek gods but implied that he now doesn't? What let him to realize it was a myth? Why don't you also teach him that all religions are myths?

If you want to give him a level of spiritual guidance with less of the religious aspect, try secular Buddhism.

OP hasn't said that her son realized that the greek gods were myth, just that he lost interest in them.

OP seems to be resisting instructing her son about religion and encouraging him to find his own way.