What is pastoral counseling and care like?

[Anonymous]

I reached out to my parents' church regarding their behavior in an angry email and was surprised to hear back from their minister. The minister offered to call me. I wasn't expecting an actual response and am wondering if they actually provide family counseling? Are they actually qualified? I have attended couples and individual therapy before but don't want to get my hopes up.

[Anonymous]

If the person providing the care has a degree in pastoral counseling, and has worked under supervision and is licensed, that is the same thing as a licensed therapist (it’s just a difference in degree - social worker vs pastoral counselor, etc). They could have also completed a degree but have not worked toward licensure. I would ask about their degree and level of experience. Qualifications are a degree and licensure and the most qualified will have both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the person providing the care has a degree in pastoral counseling, and has worked under supervision and is licensed, that is the same thing as a licensed therapist (it’s just a difference in degree - social worker vs pastoral counselor, etc). They could have also completed a degree but have not worked toward licensure. I would ask about their degree and level of experience. Qualifications are a degree and licensure and the most qualified will have both.

Correct. Please ask about their degree, etc. It could be that the minister has also noticed erratic behavior, or could be that the minster is a quack.

Do our parents know that you reached out to their church? Why did you do that?

[Anonymous]

Really, really wildly depends on the pastor. I am dealing with an incredibly difficult family situation myself and the pastoral care from my church has been awful through incompetence.

But I've also reached out to counselors who are former pastors who have been wonderful. Or dealt with pastors who are older and wiser and just really great because they've been through a lot.

[Anonymous]

My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

[Anonymous]

Even competent therapists are sometimes not the right fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

This is really interesting. How does the church support people going through a hard time then? Expect other parishoners to be there? I mean...really hard things don't neatly fit into this calendar and the church is called to be the church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

Is such counseling free at your church? Some churches provide paid, professional pastoral counseling services.

[Anonymous]

If your parent's behavior reflects church teaching, pastoral counseling isn't going to get them to change it..and might simply be proselytizing to get you to accept it. If what your parents are doing is against or unrelated to their religion, it could help if the pastor happens to be a skilled counselor...which would basically just be good luck, as not all clergy have this skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

This is really interesting. How does the church support people going through a hard time then? Expect other parishoners to be there? I mean...really hard things don't neatly fit into this calendar and the church is called to be the church.

Being the church doesn't mean doing everything that parishioners need even though you're not qualified. You wouldn't expect them to do surgery, would you? Some mental health issues require mental health professionals.

[Anonymous]

You emailed a church you don’t go to just to complain about your parents?

Yep you need counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

This is really interesting. How does the church support people going through a hard time then? Expect other parishoners to be there? I mean...really hard things don't neatly fit into this calendar and the church is called to be the church.

Being the church doesn't mean doing everything that parishioners need even though you're not qualified. You wouldn't expect them to do surgery, would you? Some mental health issues require mental health professionals.

Absolutely you're correct. But let's look at a few examples:

- someone struggling with addiction comes to the church. The church refers them to IOP. But they need some help with accountability. Who does that? They need to feel cared for - whose dropping off meals or giving rides? Church is plenty qualified to do that, and deacons should be coordinating it or leading ministries that coordinate it.

- a domestically abused woman opens up to the pastor about her abuse. Absolutely she needs counseling. But does the church follow up and check up on her? Do they offer her resources from her benevolence fund if she needs to leave home? Let's say her husband is an upstanding church member from the outside. Does the church discipline him?

Not everything can be done by saying "Go see a counselor." Counselor's aren't magic and some problems aren't fixed in one fifty minute phone call a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

Is such counseling free at your church? Some churches provide paid, professional pastoral counseling services.

NP and my church has a similar policy of meeting once or twice to talk, but acknowledges they are not professional counselors. They have a partnership and will pay for professional licensed counseling (not just pastoral counseling which has less or no licensing requirements).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church's policy is that the pastoral care team will meet you a maximum of twice in one calendar year for counseling. More than that, we can only assist in finding outside assistance.

This is really interesting. How does the church support people going through a hard time then? Expect other parishoners to be there? I mean...really hard things don't neatly fit into this calendar and the church is called to be the church.

Being the church doesn't mean doing everything that parishioners need even though you're not qualified. You wouldn't expect them to do surgery, would you? Some mental health issues require mental health professionals.

Absolutely you're correct. But let's look at a few examples:

- someone struggling with addiction comes to the church. The church refers them to IOP. But they need some help with accountability. Who does that? They need to feel cared for - whose dropping off meals or giving rides? Church is plenty qualified to do that, and deacons should be coordinating it or leading ministries that coordinate it.

- a domestically abused woman opens up to the pastor about her abuse. Absolutely she needs counseling. But does the church follow up and check up on her? Do they offer her resources from her benevolence fund if she needs to leave home? Let's say her husband is an upstanding church member from the outside. Does the church discipline him?

Not everything can be done by saying "Go see a counselor." Counselor's aren't magic and some problems aren't fixed in one fifty minute phone call a week.

The poster said they will meet twice “for counseling” not that “we’ll cut you off and can’t even deliver a meal because we already had two counseling sessions.”

[Anonymous]

Don't do any counseling if it's called "nouthetic" counseling or "biblical" counseling. In fact if it's a very conservative church, I wouldn't bother contacting them.