Specific to my kids / rec sports

[Anonymous]

I’m realizing my two boys are really fit, fast, energetic. They can climb trees, run forever, and they have endurance for long bike rides. Muscular builds run in both mine and DH’s genes.

But, in sports, they don’t have confidence, focus, or aggressiveness. They’re always short on height too.

Our experiences in rec so far have them in the 45th percentile of all players….not bad but sometimes not contributing well.

I thought we’d find a sport for them. They’re individually, respectively, liking soccer and basketball. It hit me recently that the same kids that are top in basketball, are top in baseball, are top in soccer, any sport, if they want to be.

What’s the fitness plan for my kids until high school? More than ever, more than in the 90s and 00s, you can really lose a kid to video games. Well, my kids LOVE computers and games. It’s antithetical to my worldview to allow that to be their life. (Part of their life, ok.)

Keep them in rec? Does it help or hurt confidence? Rec is way more skilled and competitive. I wish there was a size and skill breakdown instead of age breakdown, but I understand the ease of the age breakdown…

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Where is baseball, soccer, basketball for the fun? For the players that mostly suck and are at your level? You just want to be moving and enjoy the sport like you’re a 40yo dad playing softball twice a week.
-OP

[Anonymous]

How old? Age makes all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Op, with one more thing—
Kid 1 has been on the losing-est team. Funny, I know his sport well, and they are only a teeny degree less skilled than other teams. My kid has done well in games. Their defense just lets goals through. But a big loss can actually be almost tied in terms of skill displayed.

But my kid feels it.

Kid 2 has been on the winning-est team. My kid is the worst on the team but he still showed SO much skill improvement. He was the youngest, he’ll get there. But he also felt the wins positively .. more than he should. Additionally, he loses focus in play because he’s not really needed. The better players have it.

Parents aren’t focused on losses or wins; the kids themselves are.

Neither was ideal for their confidence. It was interesting to wish for.. being in the middle. If your child is in the middle of their bracket, know that it may be ideal. They may be growing more than anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old? Age makes all the difference.

Kid 1 is in 12u. But he was 9 last season. Rules stipulated he couldn’t do 10u. Lots of travel kids have already separated out. The fantastic players in the league just don’t want that travel lifestyle, so they remain.

Kid 2 is in 8u, but for his sport and location I didn’t realize this includes players that are 9. He was 7. I am astounded that it’s his 2nd season, and he’s playing with kids where it’s their 4th. Super skilled kids, I can’t wait to see them in college, really.

[Anonymous]

Kid 2 tried soccer as well and disliked it.

[Anonymous]

Based on your description, maybe get them in an endurance sport like cross country?

This year, my kid made the highest-level select team in his sport for the region, but he's in the bottom 20% of the depth chart and not playing much, thus losing interest in the sport. We will look for a new team next year; it's no fun if you're sitting on the bench the entire season!

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to do camps and private lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to do camps and private lessons.

I get the temptation. But.. what are we doing here? Paying $$$ so your kid can go from being average to a little better in rec?

My kids would love this honestly. They love sports! This would stress DH out. (See us on the Money and Finance forum, annually, trying to figure out how to save more.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to do camps and private lessons.

I get the temptation. But.. what are we doing here? Paying $$$ so your kid can go from being average to a little better in rec?

My kids would love this honestly. They love sports! This would stress DH out. (See us on the Money and Finance forum, annually, trying to figure out how to save more.)

And I did put them in local soccer camps (both of them) and basketball camp (just younger one) last summer. It was mostly positive, but younger one freaked out at aggressive play sometimes. He likes individual skill practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on your description, maybe get them in an endurance sport like cross country?

This year, my kid made the highest-level select team in his sport for the region, but he's in the bottom 20% of the depth chart and not playing much, thus losing interest in the sport. We will look for a new team next year; it's no fun if you're sitting on the bench the entire season!

I love this. I was a cross country runner. I see this being kid 1’s sport in high school.

My goal is to keep him in soccer for the fitness until then. In my area, there are clubs and track teams in 7th grade+ too.

[Anonymous]

Your kids sound pretty average. Put them in xc or lacrosse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids sound pretty average. Put them in xc or lacrosse

Yes I know they are average.
I want them to continue to be physically fit, which they are. Just being average on a team can make you lose confidence and desire. It’s sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m realizing my two boys are really fit, fast, energetic. They can climb trees, run forever, and they have endurance for long bike rides. Muscular builds run in both mine and DH’s genes.

But, in sports, they don’t have confidence, focus, or aggressiveness. They’re always short on height too.

Our experiences in rec so far have them in the 45th percentile of all players….not bad but sometimes not contributing well.

I thought we’d find a sport for them. They’re individually, respectively, liking soccer and basketball. It hit me recently that the same kids that are top in basketball, are top in baseball, are top in soccer, any sport, if they want to be.

What’s the fitness plan for my kids until high school? More than ever, more than in the 90s and 00s, you can really lose a kid to video games. Well, my kids LOVE computers and games. It’s antithetical to my worldview to allow that to be their life. (Part of their life, ok.)

Keep them in rec? Does it help or hurt confidence? Rec is way more skilled and competitive. I wish there was a size and skill breakdown instead of age breakdown, but I understand the ease of the age breakdown…

Thoughts?

You can get book(s) on fitness plans. I highly recommend this. Filled in my gaps for sure. Even with private lessons, parents do a substantial amount of planning her. I mean a one-hour session isn't a plan.

You can look up certain metrics. For example: many of the best athletes are in the 6'2"-6'2" range across the board because speed and strength. Marathoners and distance cyclists can be shorter like exactly average in height. Ball throwing sports long arms are a huge advantage: QB's, Pitchers, Basketball etc. Ironically even ping pong can benefit from long arms even with slower reflexes. Shorter athletes often times like speed but their real magic is agility/reflexes eg gymnastics, acrobatics, martial arts (inertia is not your friend). Very agile shorter athletes are actually IMO very rare. I wish there were better options, like why don't we play cricket in the US. I mean I don't dig it, but it would be nice for more kids to have options here. My suspicion these kids aren't into athletics that much or there would be more of those sports. I will say, short kids do like basketball, because it is a relatively civilized game compared to soccer, they just don't do well at it in the long run.

[Anonymous]

At this age I would put them in what they like. You said both like soccer? I’d do that. Club is not always a huge time commitment at this age. Is worth considering.

I personally would never bother with anything more than rec level basketball unless they are highly likely to be tall.

Baseball you’d have to get more serious around now, for the older one. Unless he loves it, I probably would not bother. Huge time commitment.

LAX maybe?

Aside from all of this, I would really recommend getting each into an individual sport- golf, tennis, swim. Maybe try a few things over the summer and see if anything clicks? Opens up more options in case team sports don’t work out as they older.

Also avoid treating them as a pair.