Bad mouths at practice

[Anonymous]

It is recreational sport team from county/city, and my son is new to the team. The kid at this team is mostly from his school, and there have been some drama that I am not sure if it is common or normal among 3rd graders boy. One kid calls my son like dumb, loser in front him in soft voice when they do basketball practice against each other. Do kids these days bad mouth others at opposing team during practice at that age? I have heard that players curse and yell at NBA, but come on,these are 3rd graders and they are on the same team. That kid has been competitive and rough on my son. And 1-2 kids never pass ball toy son, and they only passes balls to their friends. Well,that is more understandable because they have more chemistry and better players.

The coach is parent volunteer, and he tries his best to stay neutral and be fair. He admits that some kids are mean and unfair to my son but it seems like he cannot do much about it. DH witnessed all these, and he said that our son has to be solve all these by himself and try to make friendship to build chemistry at games/practices. We have told him that if that kid call him dumb next time, he can call him back dumb. He has told the coach about it, but with parent/adult intervention, I find that it always makes it worse by looking lame at sports. I have taught my son to ignore him or be strong and yell back, and it is the only ways we could think of. Any thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately this is very typical, and your DH is correct: your son needs to learn how to handle it on his own. Do not complain to the coach, either.

I wish there were solutions to things like this, but I am just being honest. This is very common behavior with team sports, and your son needs to learn to handle this on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately this is very typical, and your DH is correct: your son needs to learn how to handle it on his own. Do not complain to the coach, either.

I wish there were solutions to things like this, but I am just being honest. This is very common behavior with team sports, and your son needs to learn to handle this on his own.

I disagree. My kid thought this was normal based on some very poorly coached teams he was on. Then he tried out for and made a much better team, and nonsense like this wasn’t tolerated at all. Coach would make kids run for being insufficiently vocally supportive of teammates. A kid actually saying negative stuff would have been kicked off the team.

[Anonymous]

The parent coach needs to do a better job and not put up with that crap. I have seen too many parent volunteer coaches half-ass their roles and let all kinds of poor behavior fly without repercussion.

Suggest to the coach he should make the kids run laps and bod mouthing will not be tolerated on the team. Any unsportsmanlike behavior should not be tolerated. One of the best things my DD previous coach did was make girls run laps if they called the Coach 'Bro.' He helps them to a high standard, the poor behavior stopped immediately.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately at the Rec level you are dealing with volunteer parent coaches and some are great, some not so much. Not a lot you can do to address bad behavior unless you want to volunteer to coach. My suggestion is talk to your son about how to respond when it happens and find a new team next season.

[Anonymous]

Normally how do kids handle or react?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately at the Rec level you are dealing with volunteer parent coaches and some are great, some not so much. Not a lot you can do to address bad behavior unless you want to volunteer to coach. My suggestion is talk to your son about how to respond when it happens and find a new team next season.

+1 Bad mouth kid doesn't sound like he'll make it to the next level with that sort of attitude. Focus on your kid's development in the sport and leave kids like that in the dust.

[Anonymous]

Are you the same poster trying to force your husband to “break into” the “dad group” on this team?

Take your cues from him. He has a better sense for how to handle these things than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parent coach needs to do a better job and not put up with that crap. I have seen too many parent volunteer coaches half-ass their roles and let all kinds of poor behavior fly without repercussion.

Suggest to the coach he should make the kids run laps and bod mouthing will not be tolerated on the team. Any unsportsmanlike behavior should not be tolerated. One of the best things my DD previous coach did was make girls run laps if they called the Coach 'Bro.' He helps them to a high standard, the poor behavior stopped immediately.

If the parent coach wanted to do this, s/he would already be doing it. Only volunteering as an assistant coach will provide an opportunity to do so.

Rec leagues are for learning the basics, including sportsmanship and being a good teammate. Some kids learn these, while others don't.