Single dad and DD lost her job today. Appreciate any advice on what I should say?
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Anonymous
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She was in the federal government, working hard, and progressing quickly.
She's very self-motivated and was so proud of her achievements post college. Now she's devastated. I will empathize with her, but was hoping to get some DCUM wisdom before I talk with her later tonight. Thanks, everyone. |
Anonymous
| Don't offer solutions or options unless she asks. Let her vent. You sound like a great dad. |
Anonymous
| Only you know your daughter. Provide her with what she needs. Will she want help with the next steps as far as planning the next moves? Will she just want you to listen only? Will she need financial support? |
Anonymous
| im sorry to hear-what branch? |
Anonymous
| Thank you for the responses. She was in the executive branch. |
Anonymous
| Sit and listen to her. Take her out for ice cream or a hike. Just let her vent and don’t try to solve anything right now. |
Anonymous
| I would reassure that no one will hold this against her - everyone knows this has nothing to do with the value of impacted employees. |
Anonymous
| You can tell her what my grandfather used to say to me. "You're slated for better things." It was both soothing and inspiring and was just the push I needed to seek out a new job/boyfriend/friend/hobby/whatever. |
Anonymous
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What help can you give her? I don't know if she is already living with you, but my kids will be able to live with us rent-free for the rest of their lives if they need to. That is what she needs right now.
Next, this job loss is like COVID. No one will be able to escape it now. So, plan the next steps. And while you are going through this challenging time, you must do the best you can do for your health and peace of mind - because that is something you can control. If she still has her health insurance coverage for a couple of months, tell her that she needs to get all her medical wellness tests done. Buy the eye glasses, get her teeth cleaned, get her mammogram and PAP done, get her dermatologist to prescribe her meds and refill all her prescriptions. Next - eat super healthy, take care of exercise, take care of your sleep - like it is her job. Meditation, therapy, breathing exercise. Dad, both of you need to do this together. Maintain calmness and peace in your household. It is easy to shout and scream, feel angry and smash things, do destructive behavior. Yell at each other etc. So, be very gentle with each other and know that you just have to make better choices. Next, improve your skills and start your job search. 5 hours a day. Next - clean, declutter and organize your home. Sell anything that you do not need on Facebook Marketplace. |
Anonymous
| Incredibly helpful advice. Thank you, DCUM friends! |
Anonymous
| Is there one person who starts posts with "single dad?" How is this different than single mom? It's nice he's trying to help his kid and people are helping him, but I find it playing to the idea that men don't know how to raise kids so women have to help |
Anonymous
| Tell her jobs are never a sure thing, now dust off your resume and start looking for something else. |
Anonymous
I see your point. Didn't mean to imply anything negative. I rarely post, and had just gotten the news from DD, so goofed up the subject line. Thanks for responding. |
Anonymous
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Quietly start around looking for someplace that would value her skills. Do not wait to be asked, but do not say anything to DD until she says she is ready to find a new job…
Job market in metro DC will be weird for the next few months…then stabilize. |
Anonymous
I think he’s just trying to head off any comments about talking to her mom about how to approach or suggesting a joint effort with her mom. Not everything is that deep. |