Did you hate school? In particular, high school?

[Anonymous]

How did you get through it? How did you get motivated, if not in high school - when in college, your job? What did you end up doing in life?

Need some help, DS hates school- 10th grade. When I ask him about college, it's like, "Yeah, what else would I do." - I told him WORK! He shrugs, "Don't know what I would do." I have talks with my husband to try to motivate DS, DH would probably let DS live at home and be a bum. DH is afraid of being the bad guy and doesn't like to be alone in life, says a lot about my company as the wife!! Advice?

[Anonymous]

Make him get a job now. Give him more independence.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school so much I begged my parents to go abroad as an exchange student in the US. It was a completely different experience, night and day: I didn't have baggage as a nerdy ugly kid and got to start over fresh. School was easy and interesting (at a quirky, artsy private school) It was the happiest time of my teens and changed everything. I think I just was craving something different and exciting because being a teen can feel like a chore and I was so depressed by my routine. Sounds like your ds is craving something new. Any new experience helps.

[Anonymous]

I did. I grew up in PG, and was one of maybe 50 white kids in my high school. Not my high school class - I mean the entire school - all four grades, maybe 3,000 students. I have no idea how many times I was beat up for being the white boy, it had to be in the dozens of times. Got put in the hospital ER twice, once in 9th grade, once in 10th grade. It was miserable. Like a prison movie. I never forgave my parents, especially my father, for putting me through that. Too cheap to move us to Montgomery or Fairfax counties, too cheap to spring for tuition at a private school, they spent money on boats and RV’s instead. So I went to public school and got beat up probably two hundred times before I was 18.

[Anonymous]

I loved high school. Absolutely loved going in every day. But my kids are hating school in general and it dismays me. I wanted to learn and I wanted to see my friends.

They are disheartened by terrible teachers and they don't get to socialize with their friends much at all. Everything is go go go get to class no loitering no talking etc.

I'm on this thread to figure how to help them have a better experience. I can't change the system.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school. I was curious as a kid, and I was smart enough to get by in school, but I was a massive underachiever. Thing is, everyone around me was so motivated by grades — did they get a 97 or 98 on the quiz, and how will that affect their class ranking, and did so-and-so really only get a 92? It all seemed like a dumb game, one I had no interest in playing.

By 16 I was acting out — drinking way too much and skipping school, doing just enough for classes to do okay-not-great. I went to college, a small not super competitive LAC. There, without the constant grade obsession, I began to remember that learning was interesting for its own sake. The world was interesting, as it turned out, so the things you could learn about it were, too. Still had no idea what I wanted. Tried to take a gap year halfway through college, because some part of me knew that college could be a big opportunity if I just had a sense of what I wanted. But my parents refused to let me take time off (they feared I’d never go back — fair, given how I’d been in hs) so I muddled through.

Got some random jobs after. I liked working, liked knowing that my work mattered, even if it was just to the people around me. I liked independence. It wasn’t a dazzling career, but it was okay.

Then in my late 30s two things happened: (1) I made a huge career shift where I began working for myself in a more creative field. (2) I was diagnosed with ADHD, which suddenly clicked my whole past into place. With this diagnosis I changed my systems for getting things done. I’ve done very well since.

I think I just needed to find my “why.” Doing things because I was supposed wasn’t enough. And the late-in-life diagnosis helped me too — it was like a roadmap for getting out of my own way.

For the record I adore the kids who need to find their why. They are my people. I hope this is helpful. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school. I took community college classes and skipped school a lot to go to museums. I food a lot of self study like internships and independent research projects. I was friends with upperclassmen so i tagged asking with them when they went to college classes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved high school. Absolutely loved going in every day. But my kids are hating school in general and it dismays me. I wanted to learn and I wanted to see my friends.

They are disheartened by terrible teachers and they don't get to socialize with their friends much at all. Everything is go go go get to class no loitering no talking etc.

I'm on this thread to figure how to help them have a better experience. I can't change the system.

Ugh yes. I loved school so much but I was at a private school. My kids are at FCPS. Uninspiring.

[Anonymous]

I loved school in general, because home life was slightly problematic.

I had the good luck of being placed in a selective private high school, but with my undiagnosed inattentive ADHD, I did start having academic issues at around 16, and into my first couple of years of undergrad. Those years were difficult. Then I got my act together - the fact that classes became more specialized and in my area of interest certainly helped.

Does your son have undiagnosed ADHD or other issues that should be addressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did. I grew up in PG, and was one of maybe 50 white kids in my high school. Not my high school class - I mean the entire school - all four grades, maybe 3,000 students. I have no idea how many times I was beat up for being the white boy, it had to be in the dozens of times. Got put in the hospital ER twice, once in 9th grade, once in 10th grade. It was miserable. Like a prison movie. I never forgave my parents, especially my father, for putting me through that. Too cheap to move us to Montgomery or Fairfax counties, too cheap to spring for tuition at a private school, they spent money on boats and RV’s instead. So I went to public school and got beat up probably two hundred times before I was 18.

That's tantamount to abuse. My husband was the lone Asian immigrant that got routinely beat up in his unsafe, low-income, middle school. He came home one day and told his parents that he was never going to school again if they didn't figure out a way to get him into the better middle school further away in a tonier suburb. His parents couldn't afford to move in-bounds for the better school, so his mother lied on a school form (used a friend's address) to enroll him. He went on to the better high school, then go into med school, and graduated with an MD/PhD. I don't think anyone regretted lying on the school form. I don't blame them either!

[Anonymous]

Hated school. I went to really rough schools where there was a lot of violence and I wasn’t cut out for that. I was terrified every single day on the school bus and lived too far to be able to walk. What I did was go half day and I secured volunteer work for the other half and then started college after 11th grade. Those were the worst years of my entire life.

I ended up with three higher education degrees, including a law degree. Always worked in public service related jobs, which I am really happy with.

I hope your son finds something that helps him get through HS. Here in MCPS, vo tech and community college are options beginning in 11th grade.

[Anonymous]

Hated high school. Hated the cliques, being low on the social ladder, the academics bored me even though I was a good student. I wpuld have loved to have options like a magnet program, community college, etc. To get me put of the suffocating fishbowl. I loved attending a large.college where I could meet other quirky people and be anonymous. I am a functioning successful person today

[Anonymous]

I hated high school. My inner clock is set for being wide awake at 1 am and in deep sleep at 7 am. That was misery. I missed so many days my senior year. I found the classes to be so boring except science. They made it almost impossible not to graduate.

I did go to college, 2nd tier, and the classes were so much more interesting.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school but loved college. If your son wants to attend college, be grateful and encourage it.

[Anonymous]

I hated high school, and my son hates high school. I am reliving the hatred with/through him. I made it through high school, graduated a half year early but barely made it through college, 5 plan. Just tell your son, school is not forever, and it is a means to an end, thank goodness the fun part of college kept me from dropping out. I made it to Director level.