The Man Cold

[Anonymous]

My husband has a cold. No fever. No body aches. Just a run of the mill cold. Yet he's been laid up in bed for two days as if he’s dying from the plague. Two days! Why? Why do men do this? It’s the weirdest phenomenon. There’s no way my family would even tolerate me out of commission for two straight days. The last time I had the flu five years ago, I took care of the younger one who had the flu—at the same time as me.

[Anonymous]

My theory is that women know that they will feel bad at least part of the month—but are expected to carry on—from the time they are 12-13 to the time they are in their early 50s. Men are taught that if they don’t feel well, something is WRONG. Doesn’t make it any less annoying, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that women know that they will feel bad at least part of the month—but are expected to carry on—from the time they are 12-13 to the time they are in their early 50s. Men are taught that if they don’t feel well, something is WRONG. Doesn’t make it any less annoying, though.

I had never thought of it all this way and it really does make sense. Thank you PP. Great insight.

[Anonymous]

Well... Not all men. I prefer to stay active with a cold. Laying in bed for multiple days is a good way to develop a pneumonia. I might need to take breaks, but I keep moving.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my husband was super sick all week and he continued to work from the guest bedroom.

When I am sick, I kind of have to do a little work usually but it's not much. He pulled some 10 hour days with a 101 fever, coughing a lot.

I definitely complain and take rest more than he does. So maybe it's a "baby cold"?

[Anonymous]

Don’t get me started on this. My husband acted like he was dying of the plague, meanwhile, I had a bad UTI the weekend of our move and not only coordinated the entire thing but assembled multiple items of furniture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that women know that they will feel bad at least part of the month—but are expected to carry on—from the time they are 12-13 to the time they are in their early 50s. Men are taught that if they don’t feel well, something is WRONG. Doesn’t make it any less annoying, though.

Yep. I was sick with cramps every month for decades and pushed through every damn time. I think about this every time my husband has a man cold.

Also, my husband's mom made him stay in bed all day when he was sick, not allowed to watch TV or anything. When our son (now 12) was little, dh and I would squabble about what was appropriate for sick days for DS. I set him up on the couch in front of the TV and let him do whatever he feels up to (even playing outside if he feels ok). DH wanted to restrict him to his bed (no tv) so as not to reward him for being sick. My method won out (I'm the one who stays home with him usually).

I want my kid to rest and heal when sick. But I don't want him to learn absolute helplessness from a cold.

I've had stomach viruses a few times as a parent and those practically incapacitate me. Although I have a man-virus story about that too. Once, a day after a terrible stomach bug, 12 hours straight of vomiting and diarrhea plus another 8 hours intermittent, my husband said he thinks he's coming down with it. He retired to the bedroom for the entire day while I, weak with dehydration and lack of food, still nauseous, unable to eat and shaky, took care of the energetic 2 year old. It was miserable. DH appeared from the bedroom after ds was asleep that night like "whew, thankfully I'm fine, my stomach was a little off but I never had any symptoms!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well... Not all men. I prefer to stay active with a cold. Laying in bed for multiple days is a good way to develop a pneumonia. I might need to take breaks, but I keep moving.

It takes a special kind of man to use this phrase

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get me started on this. My husband acted like he was dying of the plague, meanwhile, I had a bad UTI the weekend of our move and not only coordinated the entire thing but assembled multiple items of furniture.

Who forced you to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that women know that they will feel bad at least part of the month—but are expected to carry on—from the time they are 12-13 to the time they are in their early 50s. Men are taught that if they don’t feel well, something is WRONG. Doesn’t make it any less annoying, though.

Yep. I was sick with cramps every month for decades and pushed through every damn time. I think about this every time my husband has a man cold.

Also, my husband's mom made him stay in bed all day when he was sick, not allowed to watch TV or anything. When our son (now 12) was little, dh and I would squabble about what was appropriate for sick days for DS. I set him up on the couch in front of the TV and let him do whatever he feels up to (even playing outside if he feels ok). DH wanted to restrict him to his bed (no tv) so as not to reward him for being sick. My method won out (I'm the one who stays home with him usually).

I want my kid to rest and heal when sick. But I don't want him to learn absolute helplessness from a cold.

I've had stomach viruses a few times as a parent and those practically incapacitate me. Although I have a man-virus story about that too. Once, a day after a terrible stomach bug, 12 hours straight of vomiting and diarrhea plus another 8 hours intermittent, my husband said he thinks he's coming down with it. He retired to the bedroom for the entire day while I, weak with dehydration and lack of food, still nauseous, unable to eat and shaky, took care of the energetic 2 year old. It was miserable. DH appeared from the bedroom after ds was asleep that night like "whew, thankfully I'm fine, my stomach was a little off but I never had any symptoms!"

What a selfish jerk.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully DH doesn't act like this. But I will say, I don't martyr myself when I'm sick. I'm not sick often but DH is more than capable of taking care of DS. So if I'm not feeling great, I'm absolutely going to lay in bed and rest. The world won't stop running just because I take a day off. DS and I had norovirus at the same time this year (first time in a decade). DH took care of us. I was already feeling miserable and barely able to get out of bed, why over extend myself taking care of DS when DH is able to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... Not all men. I prefer to stay active with a cold. Laying in bed for multiple days is a good way to develop a pneumonia. I might need to take breaks, but I keep moving.

It takes a special kind of man to use this phrase

That's what they tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well... Not all men. I prefer to stay active with a cold. Laying in bed for multiple days is a good way to develop a pneumonia. I might need to take breaks, but I keep moving.

It takes a special kind of man to use this phrase

And a special kind of poster to assume all men act like OP’s DH and that all posts pointing this out must be by a man.

My mom and my brother are big fat babies when sick. My spouse and my dad are stoic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thankfully DH doesn't act like this. But I will say, I don't martyr myself when I'm sick. I'm not sick often but DH is more than capable of taking care of DS. So if I'm not feeling great, I'm absolutely going to lay in bed and rest. The world won't stop running just because I take a day off. DS and I had norovirus at the same time this year (first time in a decade). DH took care of us. I was already feeling miserable and barely able to get out of bed, why over extend myself taking care of DS when DH is able to?

This is the key. When I read the women on here bragging about how they ran a marathon while breastfeeding twins and juggling flaming batons while being on death’s door, my only reaction is… good for you I suppose, but why?

Cribs/playpens, TV’s, video game consoles, ipads, and takeout/delivery all exist for a reason, ladies.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully my dh isn’t man cold material, and so my son doesn’t see that as his model.

We rest when we are really sick, and go on when we are a little sick.