How do I know whether to have 15 y/o DD evaluated for ADHD

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old daughter did amazing in middle school, although she has always struggled with time management, planning, and overall executive functioning. The transition to high school has been tough, and she struggled with the additional workload and demands. My mother and sister have ADHD and I see some of those traits in my daughter. I have always felt that if she was dealing with a possible diagnosis, I would consider getting an evaluation once she could no longer keep all the balls in the air. That might have happened first semester freshman year.

I know she is intelligent and I worry a diagnosis could define her or become a crutch. But I also don't want her to be handicapped if she needs medication or more support. I have never said a word of this to her and I am unsure if she feels like some of these executive functioning skills are harder for her than other people.

I have heard one friend talk about how finally getting medicated as an adult was life changing for her and made her realize how a lot of her struggles in school weren't her fault. I have also heard people talk about how the diagnosis, extra time, etc. can be somewhat limiting. I think my next steps worry me because it feels like today if you seek an evaluation you usually get a diagnosis.

Would love thoughts/opinions/experiences/etc. Please know I take ADHD seriously and know that for some kids the medication is 100% necessary and not optional. I think my daughter's case is mild and hesitate to medicate her given that she has made it this far without really struggling in school (she goes to an academically rigorous independent school outside of the D.C. area).

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My high achieving (straight A's through every year that was graded) DD was diagnosed as a Junior in HS. She was diagnosed after her brother was and we noticed they had a lot of the same characteristics. She actually asked for the appointment.

While she was high achieving she put everything off until the last minute then it became a scramble to get it done. She always did but it was a lot of stress/anxiety that she could have avoided. She is medicated now and she wishes she had done it sooner. She has a mild case and the meds help tremendously. She already had extra time on tests for a medical condition that she is very open about so there were no changes for her academic wise. She usually doesn't use the extra time now that she's found the right medication and dosage.

[Anonymous]

Yes, evaluation is great.

Note: The doctors will start medications without checking bloodwork first. I suggest go to pediatrician/primary first and say she is feeling spacey, so maybe tired. Ask for bloodwork including iron and Vitamin D. You do not want falsely bad results on the psychology evaluation just because levels were low and you did not know it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, do the evaluation. Sounds like my DD who has inattentive ADHD and we didn't realize it until she crashed in HS. Was more high-anxiety perfectionist in middle school to try to deal with it so we didn't see it when we were used to her brother's (and father's) more typically-presenting ADHD.

Medication helps. Knowing it's not that you are bad/lazy/etc. but have a challenge with your brain helps cut down on the personal judgement. She did a girls ADHD support group for a while but it stopped when the therapist went on maternity leave. She tended to lean on me as the executive function coach but once in college had a good EF coach which helped.

[Anonymous]

Do it. That way it’ll be easier to get meds, accommodations, support etc IF you decide that’s what’s needed. If you wait until it all hits the fan it’ll be a scramble to get it all in order.

[Anonymous]

Getting a diagnosis was life-changing for me, because it allowed me to understand that the systems that work for other people will simply never work for me. I needed to start doing things differently. It wasn’t an excuse, it wasn’t a crutch, it wasn’t a “label.” It was a user’s manual. It gave me a way out of the shame spiral and allowed me to begin proactively meeting my own needs.

I think all the time about what I might have gained by getting a diagnosis sooner. I spent so many years spinning my wheels and feeling crappy about myself.

I truly can’t see the harm of testing.