Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My kid recently came home from school (K-2 level) and declared that he wants to go by a nickname, that he doesn't like his name because it's "too weird." It is from our home country so that makes it a bit more complicated because it is a very normal name where we are from. (E.g. his name is Aksel and he wants to be called "Ace.")
I am not opposed to nicknames, but I don't like that he thinks his name is weird and that's why he wants to change it. Have you ever experienced your kid picking a new nickname and how did it go? Don't know if this is a forever thing or a temporary thing? Do you just call him Aksel at home and let him go by Ace with his friends? WWYD? |
Anonymous
|
You let kids be called by what they want to be called. It's respect. I don't think nicknames are necessarily because they think their name is too ethnic. Usually they're just short names that their friends can shout easily on the playground.
What's the nickname for Aksel in your home country? Can you offer that up? Nicknames aren't an English thing, nearly every language has them. |
Anonymous
|
He needs a nickname. It’s a nice name but he’s not in your home country and it doesn’t flow well in English.
Ace is a rather ambitious nickname to live up to. Maybe discuss some alternatives? |
Anonymous
| If its at your kid's urging, let him choose. But if you suspect that its at the urging of other kids, like someone told him "i dont like your name so now you are ace" i would be offended on his behalf and teach him to stand up for his own name and that anyone who cant be bothered to learn it is ignorant. |
Anonymous
Maybe you should go look up what e.g. means. |
Anonymous
| My niece did this. They moved mid elementary. When her parents told them about the move...her first response was can I go by "nn" at my new school. And she did but over time she went back to being the original name. |
Anonymous
| Elder millennial here. Every single Chinese-American I went to school with had an "American" first name they went by. See also "Nikki" Haley, "Bobby" Jindal, etc. It's just what people did back then. The trend has shifted back to people reclaiming ethnic names, and we gave our own DC an ethnic name with no obvious nickname. If he comes to me at 7 and says kids are picking on him because of his name, I'm not going to tell him he can't go by a nickname just to suit my own agenda. I hope that as he grows, he appreciates his name and origin and keeps it. |
Anonymous
| I disagree with the other posters. WHY does your child suddenly believe his ethnic name is "weird"? Are other kids at school telling him that? Is he one of the only children of his ethnicity in his peer group, and doesn't like feeling like an "other"? Work on increasing his self-esteem instead of diluting himself to please others. |
Anonymous
|
My DD picked a new nickname when she switched schools in mid-elementary. She has a formal name that lends itself to a range of nicknames. She spent years on and off complaining that not only did she not like the nickname assigned to her before birth (DH loved that nickname), but didn't like her full name at all. When she switched schools I told her that this was a good time to leave the old nickname behind. She had to pick a nickname that was somewhat related to her full name, just in case she changed her mind, but she could make a new nickname up if she didn't like any of the traditional nicknames. And that it was her name and what mattered was that she felt good about it.
So she researched nicknames for weeks, then decided on a completely new one. It's been a few years and she's known exclusively as that nickname at school, and mostly her full name with other friends and family. She says she doesn't mind when people that knew her by the old nickname call her by that one, but it happens very rarely because people understand that she was trying to leave the old one behind. I think as long as you can rule out that he doesn't think it's weird because of it's origin, I would urge you to put your feelings aside and support him in trying out new nicknames of his choosing. I know it's hard because you love the name you chose for him, but ultimately it's his name and it should make him happy. Better than him deciding he wants to go by Noah instead of Aksel. |
Anonymous
NP. FOR EXAMPLE, his name is Aksel and he wants to be called "Ace." What meaning do you use, pp? |
Anonymous
| If you'd spelled it Axel he'd be having an easier time. It's the spelling that's the problem. |
Anonymous
The PP was trying to point out that the kids name isn’t actually Aksel and he doesn’t actually want to go by Ace. So worrying about that particular nickname was not really a thing. |
Anonymous
|
I would just let him do what he wants, OP. My multi-ethnic children were given 3 first names, one for each of our cultures. My son has always gone by his third first name, because we all think it really fits him. My daughter has always gone by her first, English-friendly, first name. But in middle school she suddenly started telling everyone her name was Elizabeth. Now in high school, some kids still believe her real name is Elizabeth  She thinks it's funny. I couldn't care less.
I understand why you feel your culture is rejected, but please understand that your child is in the prime years to want to fit in, and when he's older, he will treasure his origins much more. It's a known developmental progress in multi-cultural children. What you need to do is enroll him in native language classes, feed him movies and books in that language, cook him all the great food of your country, and make his stays pleasant there if ever you return there for visits. Point out repeatedly that being multilingual makes you smarter, and is considered an asset as an adult. It looks great for college admissions too! |
Anonymous
|
I was a derivative nickname all through childhood and HS.
When I went to college I used my real name and have since.. I think it’s fine and normal OP. Try not to take it as an insult, |
Anonymous
Thank you. I swear this used to be a forum for intelligent people. |