Puberty blockers for gender non conforming kid

[Anonymous]

My 13 you was AMAB but identifies as non binary. They want to be femme presenting.

They asked me today how to prevent growing a beard. That led me to ask them about their feelings about puberty. They seemed overall ok with puberty. They just don’t want facial hair. I mentioned body hair and a depending voice and they seemed indifferent.

They don’t even know that puberty blockers are a thing and I don’t want to bring it up. Am I wrong for not initiating discussing this? This kid definitely is gender diverse, but doesn’t identify fully as female.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're wrong.

Both of my daughters went through a time when they wanted to be non-binary, both around puberty. And now they are both back to identifying fully as female. While I don't think it's a phase for every kid, I think it is for the vast, vast majority of kids.

Trust me, if they have access to the internet or friends that are also identifying as transgender, they know what puberty blockers are.

I for sure wouldn't suggest them to my kid and it's highly unlikely I would have agreed to the idea without solid medical and psychological advice that I really, really trusted.

[Anonymous]

OP, read the Cass Report

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, read the Cass Report

No, don't read the Cass Report. Or read it and then read the many critiques of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're wrong.

Both of my daughters went through a time when they wanted to be non-binary, both around puberty. And now they are both back to identifying fully as female. While I don't think it's a phase for every kid, I think it is for the vast, vast majority of kids.

Trust me, if they have access to the internet or friends that are also identifying as transgender, they know what puberty blockers are.

I for sure wouldn't suggest them to my kid and it's highly unlikely I would have agreed to the idea without solid medical and psychological advice that I really, really trusted.

My dd also went through this. It’s SO hard to know how to support these tweens and teens. FWIW my almost 15 yo son barely has a mustache. Waiting another year may help them know if they’ll still feel strongly about being non binary

[Anonymous]

Just get facial hair waxed or lasered. Don't create a big problem when you're trying to solve a small one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, read the Cass Report

No, don't read the Cass Report. Or read it and then read the many critiques of it.

The Cass Report is solid and like or not, most European countries are putting the breaks on medicalized treatment for gender concerns of children.

Anyway OP - puberty blockers don’t work indefinitely. They are used as a precursor to actually transitioning with female hormones. I think given he hasn’t said anything along those lines, I would just tell him that he can shave.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you would do this to a child. They can certainly live and present however they want, but to be a healthy adult, they need to go through puberty. As someone for whom hormonal BC causes severe depression, f'ing around with hormones before they are even done growing is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, read the Cass Report

No, don't read the Cass Report. Or read it and then read the many critiques of it.

+1

Talk to a doctor.

[Anonymous]

If your kid only cares about the hair, you have a ton of options. Get an epilator or face bleach. There is another thread about a tween girl and moustache, follow same tips.

[Anonymous]

Supportive parent of a NB teen here. I would let your child lead the way. If they are worried about growing facial hair, and unless your family is particularly hirsute, just let them know you will support waxing, shaving, bleaching, or whatever.

If they do bring up puberty blockers, then you can cross that bridge but the vast majority of kids are satisfied with social transition and androgynous presentation.

[Anonymous]

Facial hair comes late in puberty IME. My 20 year old barely has any yet (just mustache and a little on chin). My 17 yo has less. So I’d just run the clock…kid may feel differently in five years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know why you would do this to a child. They can certainly live and present however they want, but to be a healthy adult, they need to go through puberty. As someone for whom hormonal BC causes severe depression, f'ing around with hormones before they are even done growing is awful.

Counterpoint: hormonal birth control changed my child's life, and my only regret is not agreeing to begin it sooner.

[Anonymous]

There are many gay men who are men but femme presenting. They can look into that world to see some options. No need for puberty blockers.

[Anonymous]

This stuff is magical and dirt cheap. Works so much better and faster than the Nair we had as teens. If I were you, I’d answer the question they asked and don’t go beyond that. Explain that many people with male bodies remove unwanted facial hair by shaving, waxing, or creams.

https://www.amazon.com/SoftSheen-Carson-Magic-Razorless-Cream-Shave/dp/B00C5RI0P8/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._YgoQ-8pB0oKYVOwp5iXD8KQPhNL7imk372z3F5_UkPBKGACWucdCyZ5Ro6RJPr0OrY9C6qZ1hkb9fNfqZAmgyQNbobJAJvhKeS2RwvfTMTfRn4_KyJtvB5126RHwbyt-oWqBHlVTh1k8Mi57AGz4zNGh_SV3GH661rE1LfAhYpg_XTTub_eDhn41TzCic21eymZ8d7Lew1QgfZu11GjBg.KaMSdlcUPi8wLF9tBJT3veZZ-KCTU16Uq7zRtskC6eM&dib_tag=se&keywords=hair+removal+cream&qid=1737124123&rdc=1&sr=8-8