Siblings learning same sports at same time

[Anonymous]

I sign up my 2 kids into tennis lesson, and they are put into different age group class back to back. The younger child is frustrated and mad that the older one can do this and that and she can't hit the ball. I try to practice with her on the more, and she tears up and hide in a corner in the gym. Even though they both are new to the tennis, the older child has a lot better eye hand coordination skills than her. And, he also is really active in other sports. It is for my convenience to sign up classes back to back to save my travel time. I have signed them up with back to back swimming classes before, but she is never mad and frustrated even though her swimming skills is not as good as her older siblings. She is 6. Am I wrong to sign them up at new sports together? What should I do now?

[Anonymous]

She'll learn different people have different strengths and interests. I signed both of mine up for tennis in the same class once, but the instructor split them because of their very different natural abilities. They do different sports (by choice) now.

[Anonymous]

What is their age difference? Do they want to do the same activities?

[Anonymous]

I have an only child, but from my observations the younger sibling always surpasses the oldest and gets a huge advantage from being able to watch them, play/practice casually with them, etc. My DD is a competitive gymnast now and has flirted with serious tennis and dive along the way, and I can’t think of a single younger sibling who hasn’t surpassed the older one. She’s actually said she’s mad that she doesn’t have an older sister because then she would be so much better. Constantly playing “up” with an older sibling at home and getting to copy and watch the older one’s practices or skills is huge.

So if you can encourage the younger one to stick with it and work through their frustration, they’re at a massive advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an only child, but from my observations the younger sibling always surpasses the oldest and gets a huge advantage from being able to watch them, play/practice casually with them, etc. My DD is a competitive gymnast now and has flirted with serious tennis and dive along the way, and I can’t think of a single younger sibling who hasn’t surpassed the older one. She’s actually said she’s mad that she doesn’t have an older sister because then she would be so much better. Constantly playing “up” with an older sibling at home and getting to copy and watch the older one’s practices or skills is huge.

So if you can encourage the younger one to stick with it and work through their frustration, they’re at a massive advantage.

I’ve noticed this with my kids. They started gymnastics at the same time and did competitive gymnastics for a few years and despite being almost 4 years apart in age they were only ever 1 level apart in gymnastics, their last season they were at the same level.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine, she’ll get over it. Do something else with her while her siblings is at her lesson so she isn’t sitting there watching,

[Anonymous]

She has to learn that she can't be as good as her sibling for this particular skill, that's all. My oldest has ADHD/HFA and has always been less coordinated, less quick-witted and less functional than his younger sibling. He's had to accept it. It's a tough lesson, but it's a valuable one. They stopped comparing themselves to each other since late elementary - it would be entirely pointless.

You know what my oldest is great at? Mental resilience. He's had so many setbacks in his life, unlike my youngest who is good at everything, that he has developed a lot more mental stamina and strength. My youngest cries at the drop of a hat when she doesn't understand something instantly, because she's not used to struggling. Something to consider...

[Anonymous]

My son is a whiny rage quitter too. He thinks everything should be easy. He got hit in the face the first session of flag football and wanted to quit. I forced him to stay by telling him we spent $$$ on it and sternly telling him there's no other option + bribery. I tell him you're doing it no matter what, the bribe is for a good attitude. By the end of the session he loved it and was drawing pictures of footballs, pointing the out when he saw one, etc.

[Anonymous]

I put my kids in the same sports at the same time too. Older one is also more athletic and…older. Your younger kid will learn. Don’t just make life easy on him by deliberately finding them separate sports.

[Anonymous]

I never did back to back. I would choose activities they could do at the same time. My boys were 2 years apart and I put them in the same clinic. My older was put in the better group but still at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I tried to put in the same activity or the same location. I did this for camps.

The only thing I ever did was swim team. They put them in different groups and the practices were not even exactly back to back. There was an annoying gap so we often went home. Soccer teams also had different practice times.

[Anonymous]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having siblings do the same sport even when they aren't equally good at it. But if she is really not enjoying it at all, I'd probably consider trying something different. For something that's not a life skill (i.e. swimming) I don't see any reason to push hard on a six year old. There are many other sports/activities she can try. If she does want to learn to play tennis and just needs to learn patience and practice, that's different.

FWIW I have three kids and the oldest is the super athletic, good at everything kid. Younger two are extremely unathletic and uncoordinated. They do swimming together but otherwise we aren't pushing too hard on sports for the other two. They do swimming and martial arts. Maybe we will try something else here and there, but I just don't think sports are going to be their thing.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Sports is not her thing. Since she likes to tag along to all classes/practices/games that her older brother does, tennis is the only thing that I thought she may want to give it a try. Her older brother is age 10, and he does ice hockey, soccer and basketball that she would never be interested. I also want her to give tennis a try and make her stay active. She has long arms and long legs, and I thought that tennis maybe a good fit for her. She is indoor person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is not her thing. Since she likes to tag along to all classes/practices/games that her older brother does, tennis is the only thing that I thought she may want to give it a try. Her older brother is age 10, and he does ice hockey, soccer and basketball that she would never be interested. I also want her to give tennis a try and make her stay active. She has long arms and long legs, and I thought that tennis maybe a good fit for her. She is indoor person.

Have you thought of putting her in dance?