Watching rom coms with 12 year old

[Anonymous]

This seems so silly but I just want to hear other thoughts.

I enjoy relaxing and watching sort of mindless rom coms. Lately, I’ve been watching with my daughter. She enjoys them and we both have fun. But, I feel like maybe I’m setting her up for unrealistic expectations and a focus on romance. She doesn’t have or doesn’t talk about any romantic interests in real life and she’s otherwise well rounded - plays sports, an instrument etc. Do I need to mix it up with some dramas or other movies that aren’t so focused on love lives or am I overthinking this?

[Anonymous]

I also tend to overthink and wondered the same thing while watching a bunch of Hallmark Christmas movies together with my 12 year old!

We did pause them at about 10-15 minutes in to take turns guessing the plot aloud with very detailed and dramatic storytelling. It was pretty fun. We guessed correctly almost all of the time, but then had fun developing alternative narrative possibilities.

We watch other genres the rest of the year but I love Christmas fluff.

[Anonymous]

Yes, mix it up a little.

I remember media having such a huge impact on me at that age in a way that didn't happen later.

[Anonymous]

It's fun. Depends on your kid too. My DD can watch very mature things even nudity in the context of comedy romcom and laugh. In the long game, I am fine with it. As a kid I watched violent martial arts soaps with my parents (we are foreign). Like age 8/9 or so. I think I'm fine but I do think it depends on the kid. That's a huge thing. Only you know your kid. But in the grand scheme goodness, there's so much more to worry about than enjoying entertainment about romance and laughing your way through a movie with your kid. Don't overthink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also tend to overthink and wondered the same thing while watching a bunch of Hallmark Christmas movies together with my 12 year old!

We did pause them at about 10-15 minutes in to take turns guessing the plot aloud with very detailed and dramatic storytelling. It was pretty fun. We guessed correctly almost all of the time, but then had fun developing alternative narrative possibilities.

We watch other genres the rest of the year but I love Christmas fluff.

Yuck.

These are the worst.

Only good thing about them and hallmark is many are produced and directed by women.

[Anonymous]

A girl watching romcom is like a boy watching porn.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine, you are overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

I can't stop myself from pointing out all the horrific sexism and misogyny that happen in a lot of these movies. So I tend to shy away from them with my daughter. There are lots of movies that are entertaining to watch that are not about a woman landing a man, so yes I'd just mix those in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stop myself from pointing out all the horrific sexism and misogyny that happen in a lot of these movies. So I tend to shy away from them with my daughter. There are lots of movies that are entertaining to watch that are not about a woman landing a man, so yes I'd just mix those in.

I think it's okay to watch and then point these things out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl watching romcom is like a boy watching porn.

LOL

[Anonymous]

I am very conscious of the media my children see and I don't think you are over thinking it. I think the subject matter is likely too mature, it's all adults falling in love etc, and would not be okay with this. There is plenty of time for that in the future, no need to push the narrative so quickly when they haven't even had their own experiences yet. Just my opinion but seems like your gut is telling you the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl watching romcom is like a boy watching porn.

No a girl watching porn is like a boy watching porn.

[Anonymous]

Just talk about the things you see with her. I think tweens and teens these days have higher levels of media literacy than we did in the past. They’re savvy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very conscious of the media my children see and I don't think you are over thinking it. I think the subject matter is likely too mature, it's all adults falling in love etc, and would not be okay with this. There is plenty of time for that in the future, no need to push the narrative so quickly when they haven't even had their own experiences yet. Just my opinion but seems like your gut is telling you the same thing.

This is a good point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This seems so silly but I just want to hear other thoughts.

I enjoy relaxing and watching sort of mindless rom coms. Lately, I’ve been watching with my daughter. She enjoys them and we both have fun. But, I feel like maybe I’m setting her up for unrealistic expectations and a focus on romance. She doesn’t have or doesn’t talk about any romantic interests in real life and she’s otherwise well rounded - plays sports, an instrument etc. Do I need to mix it up with some dramas or other movies that aren’t so focused on love lives or am I overthinking this?

Throw in some Lifetime movies because the evil husband is always a murderer that was leading a double life to balance out the fake romance Hallmark fluff.