Has being not married impacted your career negatively?

[Anonymous]

I work in an industry that has a LOT of Galas/Formal Evenings/Plus 1 type engagements. Football game tickets/dinner parties are a normal occurrence. I have, within the last year, gotten so many comments about "Oh OP, when are you going to start bringing someone with you?" as if that's an appropriate thing to do. I date, occasionally, but I dont think I would be comfortable even considering bringing someone to one of these events without seeing each other for 6+ months and being exclusive. The last thing I need is a reputation for having a new fling at every event.

Am I insane? Or do I need to hire one of my best guy friends to be my permanent platonic plus ones?

[Anonymous]

People are just saying whatever comes to mind and not being thoughtful about how intrusive their comments are. I got married fairly young for this area (mid twenties) and had three kids by the time I was 30. People would ask DH and I if we owned a television. Haha!

As a rule of thumb, if you actually answering their question would be socially inappropriate, then it was socially inappropriate for them to ask it in the first place. The only polite thing to do is laugh and change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Those comments are so inappropriate! I would really struggle in that environment. And you're right. If you bring different guys you'll get a reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in an industry that has a LOT of Galas/Formal Evenings/Plus 1 type engagements. Football game tickets/dinner parties are a normal occurrence. I have, within the last year, gotten so many comments about "Oh OP, when are you going to start bringing someone with you?" as if that's an appropriate thing to do. I date, occasionally, but I dont think I would be comfortable even considering bringing someone to one of these events without seeing each other for 6+ months and being exclusive. The last thing I need is a reputation for having a new fling at every event.

Am I insane? Or do I need to hire one of my best guy friends to be my permanent platonic plus ones?

You are a work when attending these events. Most of us don't bring our spouses to work.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't entertain any personal questions as such.
Very inappropriate to even ask..

[Anonymous]

What industry can this possibly be? Military?

[Anonymous]

Yes

And I am not in such an industry and we have one holiday party a year during work hours so no spouses. But why I think it impacted me is that being married you develop better conflict resolution, negotiation, and compromise skills bc then being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in an industry that has a LOT of Galas/Formal Evenings/Plus 1 type engagements. Football game tickets/dinner parties are a normal occurrence. I have, within the last year, gotten so many comments about "Oh OP, when are you going to start bringing someone with you?" as if that's an appropriate thing to do. I date, occasionally, but I dont think I would be comfortable even considering bringing someone to one of these events without seeing each other for 6+ months and being exclusive. The last thing I need is a reputation for having a new fling at every event.

Am I insane? Or do I need to hire one of my best guy friends to be my permanent platonic plus ones?

Um, no you are not insane, the people who make the bold comment are insane - obviously.

[Anonymous]

I’d totally pick my best guy friend and drag him along to these things with me. Just makes things easier.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need a date. They were just making small talk. I used to worry about this too. But later realized it’s a total non-issue. Just make sure you’re fine socializing with couples as a singles Being single enhances my career because I have more free time, and only consult myself in big career decisions.

[Anonymous]

If it really is something related to work (I used to work in the art world, and those things were working events) once you have graduated from planner to senior attendee, this is what your gay male friends are for. The old fashioned term is a “walker”, but really it’s whichever one of your friends who likes that kind of thing and likes to dress up or schmooze. Other than that, make friends with another single in the firm and hang out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d totally pick my best guy friend and drag him along to these things with me. Just makes things easier.

Yep. In some cases, it's not the principle of the thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in an industry that has a LOT of Galas/Formal Evenings/Plus 1 type engagements. Football game tickets/dinner parties are a normal occurrence. I have, within the last year, gotten so many comments about "Oh OP, when are you going to start bringing someone with you?" as if that's an appropriate thing to do. I date, occasionally, but I dont think I would be comfortable even considering bringing someone to one of these events without seeing each other for 6+ months and being exclusive. The last thing I need is a reputation for having a new fling at every event.

Am I insane? Or do I need to hire one of my best guy friends to be my permanent platonic plus ones?

No, do whatever the F you want to do. Its none of their GD business.