Nope, social media messaging is not reliable communication

[Anonymous]

Why do people have this bizarre expectation? I have several friends and family members who—rather than texting, calling or emailing—use Facebook Messenger or Instagram DMs as their main form of communication, even for important things like birthday party invitations or trying to make logistical plans for a play date, etc.

Like…no. I’m rarely on social media, and sometimes I even delete the apps to take a break when either it’s too distracting or people are acting stupid. (Which is often.) And then, these types get upset because “I reached out to you about dinner with Sarah and you never wrote back.” Yup, I never wrote back because I never saw the message because I deleted Instagram for a while.

If you have something to say to me that is timely or important, you need to text, call or email. What is with these people?

[Anonymous]

It depends on the person. Let them know you're not on messenger a lot - or check it more often, if they won't budge. Other people rarely check their email or texts.

[Anonymous]

It is 2025. There are a lot of people who use SM in this way.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? I'm 38. I know no one who communicates primarily over SM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is 2025. There are a lot of people who use SM in this way.

+ 1 I'm surprised you're surprised OP. When it happens to me, I just say, "Oh, I only on social media sporadically; it's better to call or send me a text."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the person. Let them know you're not on messenger a lot - or check it more often, if they won't budge. Other people rarely check their email or texts.

If they “don’t budge,” they don’t get access to me. You have my phone number and you may text or call me at any time. If you can’t get with that program, oh well.

I’ve seen this happen even with moms who are putting together their kid’s birthday party. If you only are connected to someone on social media, great; use it to ask for their phone number and/or email. But if you send out a party invitation literally only through Facebook, don’t be shocked when few people respond or show up.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you and I'm on those apps regularly. I want to text or talk, not go into one of the three inboxes on instagram or two inboxes on facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is 2025. There are a lot of people who use SM in this way.

I'm going to double down on the OP and say NOPE
It's 2025, nobody is on Facebook. Do not send communications (from school, ECs, etc) through FB and expect me to see them. I can't even open them.

[Anonymous]

I agree OP. If you send me a DM over social media, I will see it sometime in the next 2-3 months as that is approximately how often I check social media. So feel free to send me a silly GIF but this is not a good way to let me know you are planning to bring rolls to Christmas dinner.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you, OP.

Unlike with email, SM offers no way to have an “out of office” message.

So I tell people over and over they need to text or email if they want a faster reply. My closer friends mostly text me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the person. Let them know you're not on messenger a lot - or check it more often, if they won't budge. Other people rarely check their email or texts.

If they “don’t budge,” they don’t get access to me. You have my phone number and you may text or call me at any time. If you can’t get with that program, oh well.

I’ve seen this happen even with moms who are putting together their kid’s birthday party. If you only are connected to someone on social media, great; use it to ask for their phone number and/or email. But if you send out a party invitation literally only through Facebook, don’t be shocked when few people respond or show up.

That's your choice! But don't get upset if you're left out of things, then. Sounds like you feel as if you are the gift at any party so you won't be sad not to be included.

[Anonymous]

I have the occasional acquaintance/not-close friend who I don't have a phone or email for, so I'll send a social media direct message. This happens a handful of times a year, and since the person isn't close it's never pressing. I always assume if we become close, I'll get a better form of contact eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the person. Let them know you're not on messenger a lot - or check it more often, if they won't budge. Other people rarely check their email or texts.

If they “don’t budge,” they don’t get access to me. You have my phone number and you may text or call me at any time. If you can’t get with that program, oh well.

I’ve seen this happen even with moms who are putting together their kid’s birthday party. If you only are connected to someone on social media, great; use it to ask for their phone number and/or email. But if you send out a party invitation literally only through Facebook, don’t be shocked when few people respond or show up.

That's your choice! But don't get upset if you're left out of things, then. Sounds like you feel as if you are the gift at any party so you won't be sad not to be included.

I don’t feel “left out” of things that are exclusively planned via social media. That’s as personal and meaningful as getting an invitation from a business or an “influencer.” Not organic or personal. No thanks. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

I agree that important things should be done over text. But except for Facebook I don't think attempts to communicate on social platforms are totally ridiculous. Facebook is ridiculous, though. Might as well send me a letter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that important things should be done over text. But except for Facebook I don't think attempts to communicate on social platforms are totally ridiculous. Facebook is ridiculous, though. Might as well send me a letter.

I’d much prefer a letter! A paper invitation or an actual holiday card with a real message written inside, even if is two lines and a signature. I’d love a letter.