Feeling guilty over quitting breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

My baby is only two weeks old but I’m ready to throw in towel with breastfeeding. He hasn’t been able to nurse and I’m so sick of pumping. I have an oversupply but that has caused more issues than being helpful. I feel immense guilt at the thought so I keep trying to push myself but I HATE it. I’ve given a bottle of formula just to see his reaction and he was fine with it. How can I stop feeling guilty and just use formula?

[Anonymous]

I quit at 8 weeks with my first and 2 weeks with my second. Go google the Atlantic article from 10-15 years ago that shows just how silly it is to worry about breastfeeding. Honestly, the AAP is always optimizing for the child for incredibly minor, incremental benefits at the expense of women’s mental health. FED is best — doesn’t matter how they get fed.

[Anonymous]

He got the colostrum, which is by far the most important part of breastfeeding. No guilt, OP, just do what feels right.

[Anonymous]

OP, he will be fine with formula. The most important thing is that you are happy and enjoying your time with your baby. If you are miserable, that’s not good for the baby. It is totally fine to quit breast-feeding. It’s more than fine, actually. The baby will be fed and loved and nurtured. Your feelings matter too, and your comfort matters too. Please look at the numerous other threads on the site discussing the same thing. You will see overwhelming support for the idea that you can and should quit if it is not working for you!

And congratulations on your new baby!

[Anonymous]

I sucked it up for months because of guilt. DS is 12 and it's my biggest parenting regret. I should have switched to formula when I was miserable instead of feeling guilty about it. Fed is best. A happy mom is best.

[Anonymous]

This is my post.

I’m feeling guilty mostly because the pediatrician and hospital staff stressed breast milk for the first 6 weeks. Everything I’ve read said that the first 6 weeks is the most crucial time for him to get breastmilk.

I have a large stash but not enough to get to 6 weeks.

My only relief is to find a really high quality formula but that still doesn’t help my guilt that I want to quit before 6 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Of course he will be fine with formula. But it might be worth meeting with a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader first, if you haven’t already. I say this because you seem conflicted, and because many (not all) mothers find breastfeeding convenient and/or fulfilling later on. Whatever you decide, your baby will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my post.

I’m feeling guilty mostly because the pediatrician and hospital staff stressed breast milk for the first 6 weeks. Everything I’ve read said that the first 6 weeks is the most crucial time for him to get breastmilk.

I have a large stash but not enough to get to 6 weeks.

My only relief is to find a really high quality formula but that still doesn’t help my guilt that I want to quit before 6 weeks.

Seriously, all these docs are perfectly willing to sacrifice your mental health for something that barely matters. Don’t let them do this to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course he will be fine with formula. But it might be worth meeting with a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader first, if you haven’t already. I say this because you seem conflicted, and because many (not all) mothers find breastfeeding convenient and/or fulfilling later on. Whatever you decide, your baby will be fine.

This is really good advice. If you’re feeling conflicted, it might help to know that you made an informed decision. I was struggling and visited with a lactation consultant when the baby was 10 days old. It made a huge difference.

Whatever you decide will be the best decision for you and your baby. You may choose to not see a lactation consultant and then decide to go to formula. That’s great.

You might go see the lactation consultant and then decide to go to formula. That’s great.

You might decide to stay with breastfeeding. That’s great.

Please don’t waste a precious moment feeling guilty about anything. You’re doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course he will be fine with formula. But it might be worth meeting with a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader first, if you haven’t already. I say this because you seem conflicted, and because many (not all) mothers find breastfeeding convenient and/or fulfilling later on. Whatever you decide, your baby will be fine.

I’ve done this. I’ve meet with multiple people and nursing hasn’t worked. It’s a mix between my large supply, big breasts, and small nipples. He’s also a very impatient eater.

I’ve bought a hands free pump thinking it would be easier but it’s still very annoying.

[Anonymous]

He's going to be eating Takis and Mountain Dew in the school cafeteria in a couple of years. None of this effing matters! Focus on whatever gives him calories without destroying your mental health.

[Anonymous]

Your mental health is so much more important for your child’s development.

Signed,
Breastfeeding quitter mom of an off-the-charts brilliant 6 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's going to be eating Takis and Mountain Dew in the school cafeteria in a couple of years. None of this effing matters! Focus on whatever gives him calories without destroying your mental health.

It’s not even mental health. It’s physical. The oversupply is causing me a lot of discomfort. Engorgement, clogged ducts, and just very uncomfortable.

The only good thing is I do have a good supply and I’ve been able to save a lot. My goal was to make it to 6 weeks but I don’t see that being possible.

Pumping is do much work and effort on top of bottle feeding and caring for my child. I just don’t think I can stick it out for another 4 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's going to be eating Takis and Mountain Dew in the school cafeteria in a couple of years. None of this effing matters! Focus on whatever gives him calories without destroying your mental health.

It’s not even mental health. It’s physical. The oversupply is causing me a lot of discomfort. Engorgement, clogged ducts, and just very uncomfortable.

The only good thing is I do have a good supply and I’ve been able to save a lot. My goal was to make it to 6 weeks but I don’t see that being possible.

Pumping is do much work and effort on top of bottle feeding and caring for my child. I just don’t think I can stick it out for another 4 weeks.

There’s a sweet spot you have to find to relieve yourself from the pain of engorgement without triggering the oversupply. The more you pump, the more the body thinks the baby wants to eat and thus produces more.

When you feel the engorgement, can you just pump for a couple of minutes (under 5) to relieve the pressure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sucked it up for months because of guilt. DS is 12 and it's my biggest parenting regret. I should have switched to formula when I was miserable instead of feeling guilty about it. Fed is best. A happy mom is best.

+1. Please take care of yourself.