Roommates: random vs find your own

[Anonymous]

For those parents of seniors who will be going to a school where incoming first-year students can choose between finding their own roommate or “going random” (ie letting the college match them), which is your student doing?

For parents whose children have had this choice already, what would you recommend?

[Anonymous]

Random is the best way to make new friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those parents of seniors who will be going to a school where incoming first-year students can choose between finding their own roommate or “going random” (ie letting the college match them), which is your student doing?

For parents whose children have had this choice already, what would you recommend?

Don’t room with a friend— or at least not a friend you want to keep.

School match is a good way to go, especially if they score off a lifestyle type questionnaire. How kids feel about quiet hours, friends sleeping over, neatness, sleep schedules, etc is going to matter a lot more in a small room than being BFFs. My DD ended up in a not great situation with a roommate she chose freshman year— the girls Bf was stalking her. Her parents told her not to tell the school because it would go on her permanent record (WTAF?), then he started stalking DD to get to the roommate and the roommate was pressuring DD to keep it quiet and was massively pissed when DD reported. Just a mess. Ended up with a random roommate the next year and it was great. I do hear a lot of stories about choosing roommates going badly, and random working well (although it can go badly). Random where both parties go in with the intention of being a decent, respectful human and cohabitating peacefully, but don’t expect their roommate to become their best college friend seem to do especially well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Random is the best way to make new friends

We are encouraging DC to use the random match system. But, in theory, they could make new friends either way- through the match or by finding their own roommate via social media platforms…I can see the advantages/disadvantages of using either approach.

[Anonymous]

My DS went random, he did not like the idea of using social media to find a roommate, and regretted it. He is now advising his younger siblings to find their own roommates.

That said, I’ve heard of chosen roommates not working out as well so who knows which is the wiser path.

[Anonymous]

DD went rando and gets along great with her roommate. They are not best friends but are friendly. The school housing questionnaire helped with a good match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went rando and gets along great with her roommate. They are not best friends but are friendly. The school housing questionnaire helped with a good match.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Ine of our kids found their match on the college IG page. They did not room together the next year (not a bad situation, just not a good match).

The other went on the IG page, amd decided they were a bunch of oddballs. Was planning to go random, amd then learned about a cousin's boyfriend's friend from camp know someone who knew somone going to that school. They texted and decided to room together. Graduated 2 years ago, and these kids are still great friends

[Anonymous]

Both my kids went random. DS's was really random -- fill out a basic profile. DS picked a room that didn't have anyone in it and someone chose the other bed presumably based somewhat on his profile. They were fine roommates but didn't become good friends and lived with other people the next year.

DDs small college hand-matches roommates based on a fairly long profile. Her roommate was great, they are good friends, and live together again this year.

Neither are really into social media and not interested in meeting a roommate that way.

[Anonymous]

Go random.

[Anonymous]

My dd is a freshman and found her roommate on IG. They’re doing great—get along, like hanging out, but they have their own friends, compatible schedules, no drama.

All that said, I’d still push for random. The survey forces you to think about what your needs are and how to articulate them.

Definitely not a fan of rooming with someone you already know.

[Anonymous]

My kid is a sophomore. He chose random and he and his freshman year roommate are rooming again this year. Whatever questions they asked, they got the match right!

[Anonymous]

Finding their own roommate via Instagram worked best for mine. The kids set it up after completing the school questionnaire. These kids have it wired - it’s a good thing to let them run with it.

[Anonymous]

DD met her roommate at admitted students day - neither had officially accepted the admission offer at the time, but they enjoyed hanging out and stayed in touch and when they both accepted they decided to be roommates. One semester down and they are very good friends and getting along well.

[Anonymous]

DC goes to a school that sounds, perhaps, like it has a hybrid approach -- you could literally pick your room. If someone else had signed up for it already, their profile and contact info was available. Or, if you had someone you knew you wanted to room with, you both just picked the same (empty) room. Or, if you wanted to take your chances, you just signed up in an empty room/slot.

DC went with the first option since they knew no one going in. Liked two different peoples' profiles, reached out to both, picked one and they've been a good match. So good, they'll end up in an off-campus apartment with two other now-mutual friends.

LOL, though, the "profile" questions were kinda short and DC struggled with how best to describe themselves in just a few (like <20) words. Started off with "Bookworm Band Kid" and that seemed to be the winning combo. Roomie was HS valedictorian (not mentioned in profile and didn't find out til weeks into the semester!) who played sax. Woodwinds gotta stick together!

Others were not as lucky but DC would recommend (and I concur with) not rooming with a friend you already have. Those rarely survive.