Tips for hosting incontinent house guest for 7+ days?

[Anonymous]

LO is physically disabled (sometimes ambulatory) with dementia. Because they can’t always make it to a toilet in time, they wear adult pull ups. However, recently, they have trouble discerning when it’s time to change. They can become angry if asked to change because of odor. If they don’t change in a timely manner, there’s leakage.

The regular caregiving relative is going out of town for the holidays. DH and I are taking LO in. We’re worried about odor and leakage.

I want to be a decent human being and not dehumanize LO, so I need some non-insulting tips about protecting my home from their bodily waste.

[Anonymous]

That’s the least of your concerns. This is a bad idea. You should go to them.

[Anonymous]

Moving a person with dementia is really challenging. I would also go to them if possible.

[Anonymous]

What is LO?

[Anonymous]

There are disposable chuck pads that they should have while sitting. Who is going to help change them? I agree, it is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

You can get washable underpads that you can place on furniture and on beds. Amazon has a bunch of different kinds. I would get a bunch of those and place around the house.

Thank you for giving the regular caregiver a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is LO?

Loved One. It took me a minute to realize it wasn’t “Little One.”

[Anonymous]

I appreciate all of the advice.

Going to them is not an option because I also need to look in on my mother who lives about an hour away. DH works from home so he will be on duty for 4 hours at a time while I check on my mom.

I found the disposable pads on Amazon and just ordered a bunch. That will be very helpful.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the regular care-giving relative what works. Is the person the primary caregiver because your LO cannot afford memory care? If the issue is not money, I would also be discussing MC. This will get worse and even these seemingly minor transitions to have you all take care of the LO while primary is out of town will cause a lot of problems. You may see outbursts, disorientation and even more incontinence from the stress of going to a new home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the regular care-giving relative what works. Is the person the primary caregiver because your LO cannot afford memory care? If the issue is not money, I would also be discussing MC. This will get worse and even these seemingly minor transitions to have you all take care of the LO while primary is out of town will cause a lot of problems. You may see outbursts, disorientation and even more incontinence from the stress of going to a new home.

This, with the memory issues a change in location is going to cause more behaviors.

[Anonymous]

If your furniture has the kind of upholstery that can be unzipped, place a plastic garbage bag inside each cushion around the stuffing part. Layer a chux pad on top and then the upholstery cover.

Mentally prepare that you will properly clean your furniture afterwards. I like to do it every few years even with no incidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you for giving the regular caregiver a break.

+1

[Anonymous]

We purchased a faux leather (vinyl) recliner with a lift option for relatively and made it “their” chair. It wasn’t too expensive and helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the regular care-giving relative what works. Is the person the primary caregiver because your LO cannot afford memory care? If the issue is not money, I would also be discussing MC. This will get worse and even these seemingly minor transitions to have you all take care of the LO while primary is out of town will cause a lot of problems. You may see outbursts, disorientation and even more incontinence from the stress of going to a new home.

Thanks for the suggestion, but they haven’t found anything that works which is why I’m so worried. DH and I expect that this is going to be unpleasant for all three of us. Our adult children and daughter in law are coming Christmas Day. That’s the main day that I worry about odor and leakage.

LO is on a waitlist and may go to a facility as early as February.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your furniture has the kind of upholstery that can be unzipped, place a plastic garbage bag inside each cushion around the stuffing part. Layer a chux pad on top and then the upholstery cover.

Mentally prepare that you will properly clean your furniture afterwards. I like to do it every few years even with no incidents.

This is brilliant. Thank you so much. I will do that.