POTTY TRAINING HELL!! 2 1/2 year old son won't announce he has to pee or poop

[[e-mail]]

I decided my son was ready for potty training and now I think I am going to lose my mind. We started 6 weeks ago. First day was great with his Elmo potty, he peed and pooped in the potty! Since then he has gotten the underwear thing down to a science, but if we don't take him to the toilet (where he pees standing up, but has not pooped again), he will not let us know he has to pee and much less poop. He has not had any accidents in the car (which is good), but he has had a few while we have been out and about. The Potty training book we read and the countless friends who shared their experiences, do not seem to help. Our son has been naked all day or just in undies while at home. We put diapers on him for nap and sleep time. Other than that, he is diaper free.

HELP

[Anonymous]

Kids don't tell you that they have to pee until way past 2.5 years old. You just have to take them. Your expectations are too high. After six weeks you probably know how long he can hold it and when he needs to go, so just take him. If it helps, my 2.75 year old is on an every two hour schedule and poops every morning after breakfast. My second youngest was also a two hour kid for pee and pooped every night right after we sat down to dinner.

[[e-mail]]

Thanks, anonymous. My husband says my expectations are too high too. You are both probably right. Guess we should just be happy that he does well most of the time. My kid has almost always pooped in his sleep (and he doesn't wake up) during the night. I guess we will cross that potty training bridge after the rest is under control. Thanks for your advice!

[Anonymous]

Your son is only 2.5! That's the problem. I wouldn't count on him telling you that he has to go until he's 3. PP is right; if you think he needs to go, then take him. Otherwise, put him in a diaper.

[Anonymous]

I agree. My son was trained at 22 months, but didn't start going on his own until he was about 27 months old. My daughter is the same way - she is completely trained (naps and bedtime too) but I have to take her every 2 to 3 hours. Usually when she says to me "I pee" she's already had a tiny accident. She's not even 2 yet though so I expect it to be a while before she fully goes on her own.

[Anonymous]

Agree with what PPs are saying...their little minds can't quite make the connection of being proactive about going potty.
It's one thing to physically sit on a potty and go.

But it's another to identify the urge + verbally expressing the need (the "TRUE" problem) + wait until you get to the potty + finally releasing.

So be patient. In the meantime, you have to be proactive and just announce it's potty time every 90 min. or so.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs. I know it's hard, because you've probably heard from friends who's kids were "potty trained" at 2 1/2, but the term "potty trained" often means that mom is trained to take the kid to the toilet every 2 hours just as much as that the kid is trained to pee once your get him there.

[Anonymous]

You can step back without going all the way back. You could still take your DS to the potty every 2-3 hours so he becomes used to going in the potty. Instead of changing him a diaper table, do a standing diaper change next to the toilet and flush anything in the diaper down the potty. Basically, you are practing with the potty and getting him out of the habit of the changing table and just going in his diaper. When he starts to get the timing then try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can step back without going all the way back. You could still take your DS to the potty every 2-3 hours so he becomes used to going in the potty. Instead of changing him a diaper table, do a standing diaper change next to the toilet and flush anything in the diaper down the potty. Basically, you are practing with the potty and getting him out of the habit of the changing table and just going in his diaper. When he starts to get the timing then try again.

Totally agree with this - we were "letting" our DS use the potty for several months, mostly at night with his diaper off. One day, he started telling us when he needed to go and he's been in underwear (except at night, but he usually wakes up dry) since. And FWIW, he's not yet 3.

[Anonymous]

Ok -- I disagree that kids won't tell you they have to pee until well past 2.5 -- mine did even younger than that, but I can accept that maybe that is unusual.

That said, I would certainly not EXPECT a child to be potty trained at 2.5. I think you're pushing it too early as he doesn't sound ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok -- I disagree that kids won't tell you they have to pee until well past 2.5 -- mine did even younger than that, but I can accept that maybe that is unusual.

That said, I would certainly not EXPECT a child to be potty trained at 2.5. I think you're pushing it too early as he doesn't sound ready.

I agree with all of this.

I will add, OP, if you're this stressed about it I guarantee your DC feels that stress & pressure which is only going to add to the problem. Just try to relax and know he's not going to high school in diapers. Encourage potty breaks often and make it fun.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would not step back. Just take him at whatever interval you deem appropriate. He will catch on faster that way. It just takes some time.

2.5 is not early to potty train. It's a perfectly appropriate age if your son gets it, which he seems to for the most part. He'll get there; you just have to teach him how.

[Anonymous]

If he won't tell you, you need to keep taking him on schedule. I started around that age too and my son wasn't trained until he was 4. There isn't a magic formula for how long it takes. If you start when they are really ready, it could take a week or so. If you start before they are ready, it will take longer. Make it a routine like everything else and don't frustrate yourself or him. 2.5 is young for a boy unless they are actually telling you they peed or pooped in their diaper. I guess some do that but not the boys I know.

[Anonymous]

[e-mail] wrote:I decided my son was ready for potty training and now I think I am going to lose my mind. We started 6 weeks ago. First day was great with his Elmo potty, he peed and pooped in the potty! Since then he has gotten the underwear thing down to a science, but if we don't take him to the toilet (where he pees standing up, but has not pooped again), he will not let us know he has to pee and much less poop. He has not had any accidents in the car (which is good), but he has had a few while we have been out and about. The Potty training book we read and the countless friends who shared their experiences, do not seem to help. Our son has been naked all day or just in undies while at home. We put diapers on him for nap and sleep time. Other than that, he is diaper free.

HELP

This is my favorite line. YOU decided your son was ready. Great. But that doesn't mean he really is ready.

My advice: Accept him where he is (not ready to be fully potty trained), which means there will be accidents. Or back off until he's really ready.

FWIS, I think "potty trained" means that your child can and will tell you when s/he needs to pee or poop. The scenario you describe sounds like YOU are the one doing all the work. So I can see why you're "going to lose [your] mind. Personally, if it were me, I'd back off and wait until he's a bit more mature and ready to tell you himself.

[Anonymous]

How can a child be considered "potty trained" when his/her parents take him/her to the bathroom every 2-3 hours because the child will not alert anyone when he/she needs to go? The parents are trained but not the kids. Maybe the parents want to stop buying diapers and so they are doing the work, but I think it is a stretch to call that potty trained. My 26 month old can hold it for a while and use the potty (and often asks to), but she is in no way potty trained b/c when she feels the need to go she goes, wherever that might be.