If you don't drink alcohol, do you find you get lackluster service in restaurants?

[Anonymous]

Especially higher end restaurants?

My spouse and I have noticed this recently. As soon as we only order water, and usually a water that you must pay for, not simple tap water, it's like the waiter writes us off and doesn't give as good service. We're polite people and not demanding at all. We don't have any allergies or dietary restrictions. We don't make modifications when ordering. We always tip at least 20% even if the service is so-so and usually tip 30% because we were both servers in college. We simply aren't alcohol drinkers or even soda drinkers.

It's like as soon as the waiter realizes the bill isn't going to include the extra $$ from alcohol sales, they don't try as hard and focus on other tables. Our waiter yesterday evening only checked on us once, near the end of our meal and didn't even ask if we wanted any dessert or coffee. That would have been an easy up sale from me because I did in fact want dessert and coffee, but I was a bit annoyed at their dismissive attitude, so we paid the bill and went to another favorite nearby for dessert and coffee. Our dinner for two without any alcohol included was still $160. I left a $35 tip and was going to leave a $50 tip because it's the holidays.

[Anonymous]

I find the check comes quickly without needing to ask for it.

[Anonymous]

I am used to it and excuse it saying restaurant service has changed after Covid.

[Anonymous]

The nicer the spot, the more people are worried about how they present themselves. People worry about being pitied if you sit alone at a bar or table, about whether they look cheap if they don't drink or if they order a lower-priced bottle of wine. None of those worries are well-founded.

It's probably mostly in your mind. I worked in fine dining for years after college and by-and-large most servers wouldn't care. It's a numbers game - for every water drinker there's a bottle of Caymus a table over.

[Anonymous]

Not usually, I doubt its the alcohol. Just a bad server. We don't drink alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I worry about this going forward.
We used to have champagne to start and a bottle of wine.
Then covid and we stopped going out much.
Now DH doesn't drink because of medication he takes andcI find my lipitor and age make me feel poorly if I drink.
In modest white tablecloth places we get mocktails but I worry about the Michelin places.

[Anonymous]

I haven't noticed this. We only order alcohol about half of the time and the other times get a diet coke or sparkling water or similar. I've never noticed a difference in service. Sounds like you got a bad waiter.

[Anonymous]

Fewer and fewer people are drinking. For all sorts of reasons - changing cultural norms, health, weight, medication, prevalence of cannabis products, the cost, sleep issues, and no one wants a hangover or rebound anxiety anymore. Younger people in particular are the biggest group to have really lightened up on drinking, with many choosing not to drink at all. The market for people wiling to have two or three sugary calorie bombs with every meal is getting smaller and smaller every year.

It's up to restaurants to adapt to changing norms. And if they don't, they'll disappear. But restaurants will be increasingly unable to rely on the alcohol up-sell to boost their margins. And choosing to give non-drinkers a disappointing meal experience is so incredibly destructive for restaurants. They lose both repeat customers and word of mouth.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not at all. I always ask for ice water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fewer and fewer people are drinking. For all sorts of reasons - changing cultural norms, health, weight, medication, prevalence of cannabis products, the cost, sleep issues, and no one wants a hangover or rebound anxiety anymore. Younger people in particular are the biggest group to have really lightened up on drinking, with many choosing not to drink at all. The market for people wiling to have two or three sugary calorie bombs with every meal is getting smaller and smaller every year.

It's up to restaurants to adapt to changing norms. And if they don't, they'll disappear. But restaurants will be increasingly unable to rely on the alcohol up-sell to boost their margins. And choosing to give non-drinkers a disappointing meal experience is so incredibly destructive for restaurants. They lose both repeat customers and word of mouth.

I think this is going to be a pretty slow change. Every bar I see is packed, the vast majority of tables in restaurants have cocktails or wine.

[Anonymous]

I wish the drinking culture would change. It especially seems to be worse in our area. Perhaps because we have so many high-powered career people around? Every event now seems to include alcohol.

The rink where my kid skates each week has started opening the snack bar Tue-Thur evenings (it was always open Fri-Sun) to serve parents alcohol while they wait during practice.

The moms at soccer take turns bringing a travel pitcher of cocktails each week. The shopping plaza nearby now has sip-n-shop where you can get any alcoholic beverage from any restaurant in the plaza in a to-go cup and drink it as you shop in the plaza.

[Anonymous]

They just know the rip will be low anyway so they probably don’t care that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Especially higher end restaurants?

My spouse and I have noticed this recently. As soon as we only order water, and usually a water that you must pay for, not simple tap water, it's like the waiter writes us off and doesn't give as good service. We're polite people and not demanding at all. We don't have any allergies or dietary restrictions. We don't make modifications when ordering. We always tip at least 20% even if the service is so-so and usually tip 30% because we were both servers in college. We simply aren't alcohol drinkers or even soda drinkers.

It's like as soon as the waiter realizes the bill isn't going to include the extra $$ from alcohol sales, they don't try as hard and focus on other tables. Our waiter yesterday evening only checked on us once, near the end of our meal and didn't even ask if we wanted any dessert or coffee. That would have been an easy up sale from me because I did in fact want dessert and coffee, but I was a bit annoyed at their dismissive attitude, so we paid the bill and went to another favorite nearby for dessert and coffee. Our dinner for two without any alcohol included was still $160. I left a $35 tip and was going to leave a $50 tip because it's the holidays.

I've noticed if the service I receive is poor, my tip is less than 15%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not at all. I always ask for ice water.

Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Are you a pOC? Because that stigma is still very much alive and well in the restaurant industry.