I don't think I fit in at my org

[Anonymous]

I've been with my employer for a few years. The pay is terrific, I've received great raises, but I don't think I'm really a great fit. The org is based in a small city where everyone seems to have a connection to someone else-- they all worked for the same previous employer, or went to the same college, or have a parent on staff who helped them get the job. In my division, other than myself and one other recent hire, everyone else was hired with the help of an internal friend or family member. I was hired off the street based on my resume, so I did not come in with an established base of friends and contacts who vouched for them.

It's very obvious I don't fit in when we have staff meetings. All of the friend groups start gathering together. I get a few "hellos" and that's about it. I think I could last there for a few years, but long term, it feels lonely. I don't need everyone to like me and I do my job well, but I also think my position on the outs without close contacts up and down the chain will impact promotions. Let's fact it: People take care of their own. Would you leave or stick it out?

[Anonymous]

I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

[Anonymous]

Do you really think you have the luxury to be concerned re: fit? Great if you do. Great if you can make a change happen. Most wouldn't have the luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

+1
You are the one hired by your resume and merit! That's got to feel good. You stand out but in a good way, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

OP here. I think, ultimately, I'm missing what it's going to take to get a promotion. Most of the recent hires are all friends of friends. It's obvious to me that everyone is close to each other. They're not just work acquaintances. They helped each other land their jobs. I hear them talk about get-togethers over the weekends at each other's houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

OP here. I think, ultimately, I'm missing what it's going to take to get a promotion. Most of the recent hires are all friends of friends. It's obvious to me that everyone is close to each other. They're not just work acquaintances. They helped each other land their jobs. I hear them talk about get-togethers over the weekends at each other's houses.

Personally, I would be thrilled to hear about those get-togethers and know that I did not have to go there and kiss up to prove I deserved to be there. Have you actually applied for promotions? Are there promotions in the pipeline you're aiming for? Or are you just musing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

OP here. I think, ultimately, I'm missing what it's going to take to get a promotion. Most of the recent hires are all friends of friends. It's obvious to me that everyone is close to each other. They're not just work acquaintances. They helped each other land their jobs. I hear them talk about get-togethers over the weekends at each other's houses.

Personally, I would be thrilled to hear about those get-togethers and know that I did not have to go there and kiss up to prove I deserved to be there. Have you actually applied for promotions? Are there promotions in the pipeline you're aiming for? Or are you just musing?

I’m aiming for one right now (a position I have to compete for). It’s not looking good.

[Anonymous]

Are you doing great work? That will put you in line for a promotion, as well as making sure you are developing a strong relationship with your boss and your bosses boss.

[Anonymous]

you've received great raises and have great pay. Keep going until you feel you can get paid better somewhere else. Once you're in your 30's you shouldn't look at your colleagues needing to be friends. Seems you're worried about something that hasn't proved itself a worry yet.

[Anonymous]

Op, you're too busy worrying about what *might* happen. If something actually happens and you feel passed over and are denied something -- then be unhappy and act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stick it out for as long as it worked for me... the hours, location, workload, pay. What is it that you feel is missing?

OP here. I think, ultimately, I'm missing what it's going to take to get a promotion. Most of the recent hires are all friends of friends. It's obvious to me that everyone is close to each other. They're not just work acquaintances. They helped each other land their jobs. I hear them talk about get-togethers over the weekends at each other's houses.

Personally, I would be thrilled to hear about those get-togethers and know that I did not have to go there and kiss up to prove I deserved to be there. Have you actually applied for promotions? Are there promotions in the pipeline you're aiming for? Or are you just musing?

I’m aiming for one right now (a position I have to compete for). It’s not looking good.

Wait and see how it turns out before you decide anything. You're the only one who can say how much feeling left out in these ways bothers you. If it really does you will likely need to leave to fix it. You won't change them so the only other option would be develop a strategy to wiggle your way into the relationships and start making some of your own work friendships.