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Still doesn't feel real yet - normal?
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Anonymous
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So I'm 10 weeks today. Other than being a bit more tired, bigger and sore breasts and feeling generally run down, I'm not feeling that different than before.
I had a miscarriage last summer so I think it's taking me a bit longer for it to sink in and for me to buy into this whole baby making thing! Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited but there's something that's holding me back a bit from totally being able to believe what is supposed to be going on in there just yet. I had a sono at 8 weeks and I saw the little bean with my own eyes and saw the heart beating but I'm still really afraid to believe it too much after last summer. Can anyone else relate? |
Anonymous
I had a similar feeling after getting pregnant right after a very early miscarriage but I'm not even sure it was the prior miscarriage that did it. If you've never had a child, and I hadn't, the whole pregnancy can seem unreal for a long time. This pregnancy became "real" for me at a 12 week sono, and again, on a deeper level, when the baby started moving. Don't worry, you have a long time to let the joy of it sink in. |
Anonymous
| Completely normal. Sounds like you may be protecting yourself emotionally in case you have another miscarriage. After 12 weeks, your risk of miscarriage drops significantly, so maybe then you will allow yourself to believe it. It's hard to feel emotional about a bean. Give yourself some time. Go to the video store and rent "The Waitress", a comedy about a woman who's not particularly happy to be pregnant. This film released me from the obligation to feel all happy and precious about my pregnancy every single moment. Sometimes I'm very happy and excited and sometimes not. And that's okay. |
Anonymous
| It didn't feel real to me until after my daughter was born and six weeks old. |
Anonymous
| It didn't feel real to me until after I started showing, but even that felt surreal and I was worried that something might happen. I'd had two prior miscarriages, and I think I sort of lost my innocence after that. It took a while before my husband and I could discuss names again or bought anything for the baby. |
Anonymous
| Very normal! |
Anonymous
| It is very normal. At the same time, I think you have already committed somewhat to this life inside you, and why not enjoy it? Why not let yourself revel in the idea that you have in your belly someone irreplaceable? I have a 9 year old son (only 1 boy). And I often wish I could go back in time to revel in the life he was to be. he's a great boy. And your baby will be a great 9 year old some day. So enjoy this child, this adult, this wonderful person you have inside you. And let them know you are going to help them be the best person they can be. |
Anonymous
I had 3 m/cs before our son-my pregnancy with him never felt real. I didn't want to bond with him until after he was born, I was too worried something would happen. Some days, it still doesn't feel real, and he's 15 months  I can't believe my eyes.
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Anonymous
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This is my first and it didn't feel real to me until about 6 months - I am 32 weeks now. That being said, the "real" feeling came with an extra dose of fear and panic. I am hoping that the joy comes sometime before the baby's first birthday.
As I understand it the norm for most moms-to-be is this feeling of overwhelming joy towards the upcoming arrival. And not feeling the joy that most people talk about just makes me feel guilty. I try to feel joyful, but I am so consumed with fear - not so much of the delivery, but what I am going to do when I go home with this baby. Personally, I think that the best way to feel is what is honest to you. The additional pressure to feel a certain way only adds to the additional stresses of being pregnant and I don't think that can be very healthy for the mom or the baby. I don't know if this post helps the OP, but ... |
Anonymous
| Thank you all for the words of encouragement! I think I am trying to protect myself incase something happens again but let's be honest, bracing ourselves for something like that won't make it less hard if it does happen so why not try to enjoy the process? It is easier said than done though! Two weeks from today will be 12 weeks and my triple screen with sono so I'm hoping that helps it all sink in. Thanks again ladies, your responses mean a lot. |
Anonymous
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Didn't feel real to me until I felt movement (around 16-17 weeks). Even then it didn't really feel real until I started to show more and feel BIG movements- after 24-26 weeks.... I"m 31 weeks now and there are times it seems super surreal still. |
Anonymous
| The reality of it all didn't really set in for me until about week 15.....I am now about 17 weeks. When we started telling folks (around 13 weeks), I tended to feel a bit weird when responding to the inevitable questions. Giving the honest response that it was all so surreal and hadn't fully set in yet sometimes made me slightly sad/guilty/etc. I usually found myself saying that my mind just hadn't seemed to catch up with what was going on my body. A number of people would then follow-up with the question like, "Was it a planned pregnancy or a surprise?" Reading the other responses, I now see that my feelings were completely normal! So thanks, OP, for your question...and thanks to all others who responded. |