Nanny against sleep training

[Anonymous]

To be fair, she was upfront about this when we hired her but so were we.

Now 6 months into sleep deprivation we are Ferbering baby and nanny will not work with us

She will lay him down in his crib but if he fusses she’ll rock him to sleep and then transfer. She’s great otherwise and loves LO to pieces so not really willing to find someone else over it.

Possible to sleep train if not everyone is on board?

[Anonymous]

Former nanny here. She is your employee. If you want to sleep train, she needs to get on board. It's going to be nearly impossible to do sleep training if she refuses to do it.

[Anonymous]

You have three choices:

1) don’t sleep train
2) find a new nanny
3) take a week off work and sleep train then. 9 days (a work week with both weekends) would do it for most kids. Then you can hand back to the nanny

Sending inconsistent signals to your baby during sleep training is unfair to your baby and very likely to make sleep training take forever or fail.

[Anonymous]

You're lucky you have a loving, warm, kind nanny. You are sleep deprived, so you're not making the best decisions right now. Don't sleep train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here. She is your employee. If you want to sleep train, she needs to get on board. It's going to be nearly impossible to do sleep training if she refuses to do it.

She was upfront before they hired her that this is something she would not do. I would quit a nanny job before I would let a baby CIO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, she was upfront about this when we hired her but so were we.

Now 6 months into sleep deprivation we are Ferbering baby and nanny will not work with us

She will lay him down in his crib but if he fusses she’ll rock him to sleep and then transfer. She’s great otherwise and loves LO to pieces so not really willing to find someone else over it.

Possible to sleep train if not everyone is on board?

Why did either of you choose to go through with this employment arrangement, then? You both knew that the other party had a completely different stance on something so important?

[Anonymous]

Lots of people night train before nap training. Supposedly day sleep is processed differently in the brain than night sleep. Our son could fall asleep in the crib at night for months before he could do it for naps. So it’s not necessarily a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people night train before nap training. Supposedly day sleep is processed differently in the brain than night sleep. Our son could fall asleep in the crib at night for months before he could do it for naps. So it’s not necessarily a deal breaker.

This right here. Night training is a different ball game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here. She is your employee. If you want to sleep train, she needs to get on board. It's going to be nearly impossible to do sleep training if she refuses to do it.

That's not true.

Sleep training Ferber style isn't allowed in daycares, and yet plenty of babies in daycare understand that home is different and are successful with sleep training there. Similarly, OP's baby will understand that things are different depending on who is putting them down. Maybe add some other cues, to help them remember (e.g. black out shades only at night).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky you have a loving, warm, kind nanny. You are sleep deprived, so you're not making the best decisions right now. Don't sleep train.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're lucky you have a loving, warm, kind nanny. You are sleep deprived, so you're not making the best decisions right now. Don't sleep train.

+1

-1

People who don’t sleep train don’t have horrible sleepers. If you have a 6 month old who wakes up every 45 minutes all night long…sleep training is the most sane option for everyone.

I ferberized both my babies, they are now teens who are physically and mentally healthy, intelligent and hard working, and even like to spend time with their parents! Sleep training is not akin to abuse like some people want to tell you.

Sleep deprivation is truly torture; don’t do that to yourself and your baby. If my babies only woke up every few hours I wouldn’t have done it either, but please don’t shame people if they have to sleep train.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you do it your way, she does it hers. Its fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here. She is your employee. If you want to sleep train, she needs to get on board. It's going to be nearly impossible to do sleep training if she refuses to do it.

She was upfront before they hired her that this is something she would not do. I would quit a nanny job before I would let a baby CIO.

Same. I’m a nanny and am upfront about it my gentle and attachment based practices.

I would not “get on board”. They’d have to replace me or figure it out.