14yo’s hanging out alone?

[Anonymous]

This may sound crazy but I have to ask, because I’m not sure!

If your DD13-almost-14 went to a (girl) friend’s house to hang out, how would you feel if the parents weren’t home for part of the visit? DD is having a friend over, sort of last minute, and I was already planning on doing some shopping (<20 minutes away) but didn’t want to prevent her having a friend over. Back in the 90s I hung out alone with my girlfriends after school all the time, but I don’t know how parents feel about this today. I wouldn’t care, but I just want to be sure.

[Anonymous]

Same gender, I would be o.k. with it but it's polite to have the guest's parents know by speaking or texting with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same gender, I would be o.k. with it but it's polite to have the guest's parents know by speaking or texting with them.

I don’t think informing the other parent is necessary at all. It’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same gender, I would be o.k. with it but it's polite to have the guest's parents know by speaking or texting with them.

+1

[Anonymous]

It's fine. That's babysitting age.

[Anonymous]

I’d stay if the other parent is not there, or bring them to my house. Too many weirdos out there

[Anonymous]

I tell mine to let their friends know when I won’t be home. Then it’s between them and their parents if they can come over. My senior DD has a friend whose parents won’t allow her over if we’re not home. Feels overboard to me - kid is 18 and going to college next year. But that’s their rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d stay if the other parent is not there, or bring them to my house. Too many weirdos out there

And OP thought she sounded crazy…

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. And if the patents have weird rules about stuff like that or there is some sort of history you aren’t aware of that would create concern, I feel like it’s the kids responsibility to know their boundaries - or the parent needs to communicate first. I’ve had parents ask if a parent will be home when their kid is coming over for the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may sound crazy but I have to ask, because I’m not sure!

If your DD13-almost-14 went to a (girl) friend’s house to hang out, how would you feel if the parents weren’t home for part of the visit? DD is having a friend over, sort of last minute, and I was already planning on doing some shopping (<20 minutes away) but didn’t want to prevent her having a friend over. Back in the 90s I hung out alone with my girlfriends after school all the time, but I don’t know how parents feel about this today. I wouldn’t care, but I just want to be sure.

I would just send a text to parent and say you won’t be home & wanted to check if they were okay with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d stay if the other parent is not there, or bring them to my house. Too many weirdos out there

You are joking?
13/14 should be babysitting, dog walking for others, etc. Please let your child have some independence.

[Anonymous]

This is weird. This was an incredibly common occurrence after school when/where I grew up (90's, midwest). Co-ed, too. I remember in middle school regularly going to my girlfriend's house after school to kill time before basketball practice (which ran at staggered times based on grades due to lack of gym space). She lived between the middle school and the elementary school that hosted practy, so it was a natural place for both of us to go.

[Anonymous]

I’d be fine with it but I would give a heads up to the other parent. I’d want to know, I’d still let my kid go though.
I have a 12yo DD and she stays home alone sometimes. If a friend is coming to hang out I let the other parent know I’m not around.
I think it’s a respect thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird. This was an incredibly common occurrence after school when/where I grew up (90's, midwest). Co-ed, too. I remember in middle school regularly going to my girlfriend's house after school to kill time before basketball practice (which ran at staggered times based on grades due to lack of gym space). She lived between the middle school and the elementary school that hosted practy, so it was a natural place for both of us to go.

As the OP clearly mentions in her post.

[Anonymous]

Under 13, I check with the parents. By high school, I assume that everyone is comfortable with two same gender friends home alone (when they aren’t dating each other).