Guest cooking assignment

[Anonymous]

I feel grateful that my neighbors are inviting me to spend the upcoming holiday with them. Of course I offered to contribute to the meal. Instead of assigning me a course however, they told me to make a very specific side dish, which I have never attempted before.

Is this common? I am used to people saying “bring dessert” or “bring an appetizer,” not “make this.”

(I am a good cook, but prefer bringing a tried and true dish, that I know will be a hit. Mind you, I am happy to clear ingredients in advance, so there are no doubles or clashes).

Your thoughts on the etiquette of this ?

[Anonymous]

Ask them if there is a specific recipe that they prefer.

[Anonymous]

I roll like you, OP, but I’ve been asked to being something specific, too. I’d just attempt it- I’m sure your version of it will be fine, and you are contributing to a tradition of theirs or their vision of the holiday. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

What is it that could be that hard to make on Thanksgiving?

[Anonymous]

Depends on if it is apple pie or Russian beef borscht with traditional garnishes. Flexible is nicer but if I basic dish I think it is ok. I would probably just be saying...this is my first attempt so you guys let me know.

[Anonymous]

It’s Thanksgiving. They need a specific traditional dish, not whatever random side you like.

If you didn’t want to do what they asked you shouldn’t have volunteered.

[Anonymous]

For thanksgiving, I think it is very common to request a specific dish. Otherwise they have to make everything since they do not know what you will bring.

[Anonymous]

I think for Thanksgiving if it’s not a huge group, then it makes sense to give specific assignments to ensure that all of the expected food items are present. Otherwise, the host has to make everything and then what guests bring is extra, which sometimes isn’t that helpful. Any meal other than Thanksgiving, I would say being given a very specific assignment would not be terribly polite.

[Anonymous]

Specific assignments are okay with me (the less thinking, the better). Hosts do this because they don’t want a table of creamed corn. What do YOU have to make OP? Maybe we can help.

[Anonymous]

Whatever - you offered to contribute, and they said what they'd like you to contribute. Just buy a high quality version if you're not comfortable making it.

I love the time I brought Mrs. Smith's dutch apple pie one year and even the professional trained chef was blown away by it.

[Anonymous]

Why not respond that you've never made the dish, but will be happy to try? That should warn the hosts to keep their expectations reasonable. If the dish doesn't turn out quite as you'd like, it'll be understandable. If it does, you'll be a hero.

I'd caveat that to note that if this is something complicated, and the chance of success on the first try is probably low, just respond accordingly in that case - say you've never made it, have looked at some recipes, and have concluded it's not something you trhink you can pull off right now. Offer an alternative, like bringing a few bottles of something, or a dessert you either know how to make or know you can purchase.

[Anonymous]

Your hosts might be so used to making this dish that they didn’t think it would be unfamiliar to you. I don’t see anything wrong in asking for a specific item for the table. They don’t want multiples of the same dish. Give it your best shot.

[Anonymous]

Thanksgiving is different because it requires balance and specific dishes. You can’t have 4 sides of Brussels sprouts and no cranberry sauce. If it’s just a random thing it’s not helpful. The exception is apps - those can be more of a free for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on if it is apple pie or Russian beef borscht with traditional garnishes. Flexible is nicer but if I basic dish I think it is ok. I would probably just be saying...this is my first attempt so you guys let me know.

+1

[Anonymous]

My in-law extended family has done this: assign actual clippings or links for recipes. They call each other to ask things like "I don't have 2% milk but I have cream, are you ok if I use that?" or they're assigned something with an ingredient that they are allergic to but make it anyway out of duty. Many of them are very rigid rule followers who are incredibly earnest and I guess polly-anna-ish. Very nice but it's so unnatural to me. They must think I am a charicature of a big city b-word (which I really am not).