Typical teen or something to worry about?

[Anonymous]

Looking for a sanity check. At least since around the time she started high school, our 16-year-old DD is minimally communicative in the morning before leaving for school and often when she gets home. When we ask her about her day or anything else, her responses are the bare minimum or can even be borderline rude. On the other hand, she seems to magically cheer up later, often once her homework is done. She also generally seems to be bright and happy on weekends or holidays, esp if she’s not burdened by school related concerns.

Academically and socially she seems to be doing fine - top grades, enjoys multiple activities, and has fun with her friends from school and church.

Does this behavior seem basically normal for a teen? I personally remember being similarly insensitive around my mom when I was that age, and I ended up fine - though I now often apologize to my mom for the way I behaved back then.

The reason I’m bringing it up here is the degree of difference between how our DD seems when she’s moody versus when she’s not. When she’s moody, she’s almost unreachable, which can really be frustrating if we’re genuinely curious about some aspect for life or trying to ask her a question, but feel like we have to tiptoe around her or even delay a conversation until she happens to be in a better mood.

Just trying to make sure we’re dealing with some thing that’s within the range of normal and we don’t need to worry about, or if it’s something more serious that we need to monitor, or even to intervene, either as a parenting duty to remind her to watch how she treats other people, or if it’s a mental health issue where she’s exhibiting signs of being overwhelmed with school and we’re risking her ending up with depression.

[Anonymous]

Who TF is cheery in the morning?? Especially a hormonal teen??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for a sanity check. At least since around the time she started high school, our 16-year-old DD is minimally communicative in the morning before leaving for school and often when she gets home. When we ask her about her day or anything else, her responses are the bare minimum or can even be borderline rude. On the other hand, she seems to magically cheer up later, often once her homework is done. She also generally seems to be bright and happy on weekends or holidays, esp if she’s not burdened by school related concerns.

Academically and socially she seems to be doing fine - top grades, enjoys multiple activities, and has fun with her friends from school and church.

Does this behavior seem basically normal for a teen? I personally remember being similarly insensitive around my mom when I was that age, and I ended up fine - though I now often apologize to my mom for the way I behaved back then.

The reason I’m bringing it up here is the degree of difference between how our DD seems when she’s moody versus when she’s not. When she’s moody, she’s almost unreachable, which can really be frustrating if we’re genuinely curious about some aspect for life or trying to ask her a question, but feel like we have to tiptoe around her or even delay a conversation until she happens to be in a better mood.

Just trying to make sure we’re dealing with some thing that’s within the range of normal and we don’t need to worry about, or if it’s something more serious that we need to monitor, or even to intervene, either as a parenting duty to remind her to watch how she treats other people, or if it’s a mental health issue where she’s exhibiting signs of being overwhelmed with school and we’re risking her ending up with depression.

My 15yo ds (sophomore) is exactly like this.

[Anonymous]

She’s in the thick of things everybody knows

[Anonymous]

I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my daughter with anxiety. Or any teen.

[Anonymous]

Sounds pretty normal. Probably temperament. She is probably an extroverted introvert and people’d out after school. I will add that this is how I feel when my husband tries to be chatty after work when I’ve been in meetings all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

How old are you?? This is so childish. Good lord. Your mom also went to high school, presumably bought all your food and made sure what you had for breakfast and if she was like most moms, had washed your clothes, made food, done dishes, fed the dog, cleaned up, dealt with a ton of emails and life things you weren’t doing as a teenager. Why was your homework at a school your mom was paying for so much harder that you couldn’t say good morning? GTFO yourself. I can’t stand people with this insane sense of entitlement. You did some homework. Doesn’t entitle you to be a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like me. I always have mental to-do lists running in my head. I get irritated with my husband when he physically steps in my way for a touch and kiss because I am basically always between one task and the next

[Anonymous]

Sounds like me too. Nobody should talk to me in the morning. My kid is in college so I finally get my wish for quiet. I'm a teacher and when I get home from school, I'm the same way. It's a very overstimulating place and I'm an introvert. All I want is quiet. I don't want anyone saying my name, touching me, or asking me questions about anything. When I'm ready, I will act normal again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

How old are you?? This is so childish. Good lord. Your mom also went to high school, presumably bought all your food and made sure what you had for breakfast and if she was like most moms, had washed your clothes, made food, done dishes, fed the dog, cleaned up, dealt with a ton of emails and life things you weren’t doing as a teenager. Why was your homework at a school your mom was paying for so much harder that you couldn’t say good morning? GTFO yourself. I can’t stand people with this insane sense of entitlement. You did some homework. Doesn’t entitle you to be a jerk.

Really gross. Tired and overwhelmed? Don't let mom know, just fake it! People like you are the parents of kids who killed themselves and were like, "I had no idea Larla was struggling so much. She never told me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

Are you. 12. Grow a pair

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

How old are you?? This is so childish. Good lord. Your mom also went to high school, presumably bought all your food and made sure what you had for breakfast and if she was like most moms, had washed your clothes, made food, done dishes, fed the dog, cleaned up, dealt with a ton of emails and life things you weren’t doing as a teenager. Why was your homework at a school your mom was paying for so much harder that you couldn’t say good morning? GTFO yourself. I can’t stand people with this insane sense of entitlement. You did some homework. Doesn’t entitle you to be a jerk.

Really gross. Tired and overwhelmed? Don't let mom know, just fake it! People like you are the parents of kids who killed themselves and were like, "I had no idea Larla was struggling so much. She never told me."

Gross?? People like you are determined to be a victim, and you will. Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

How old are you?? This is so childish. Good lord. Your mom also went to high school, presumably bought all your food and made sure what you had for breakfast and if she was like most moms, had washed your clothes, made food, done dishes, fed the dog, cleaned up, dealt with a ton of emails and life things you weren’t doing as a teenager. Why was your homework at a school your mom was paying for so much harder that you couldn’t say good morning? GTFO yourself. I can’t stand people with this insane sense of entitlement. You did some homework. Doesn’t entitle you to be a jerk.

Really gross. Tired and overwhelmed? Don't let mom know, just fake it! People like you are the parents of kids who killed themselves and were like, "I had no idea Larla was struggling so much. She never told me."

You are a ridiculous child. A conservation re being overwhelmed and adjusting is far different than ridiculing your mom for not having a job and wanting you to say hi. The a hole is you, I promise you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three and had to come down to breakfast groggy every morning because I had been up past midnight doing homework and was sleep deprived. I just needed to eat and wake up, alone, while reading the paper.

My mom who didn't have a job would criticize me for not being chatty Cathy. it was really annoying. Here I was, this kid who was working my ass off from 8am to past midnight with schoolwork and activities and then she'd criticize me for being tired and not chatty in the morning? It was annoying AF. And I really did not need the criticism on top of everything else I was dealing with. She should have been praising me for managing to work so hard, not criticizing me for not being Merry Sunshine when I was exhausted.

Maybe your daughter is too busy and needs more sleep.

Sounds no different than my public high school in the 90s when I took all AP classes and played sports and was on extras like the play and paper and so was up super late all the time. But boo to your bad jobless mom I guess.