What do the elderly talk about when they get together?

[Anonymous]

My mother has been retired now for about 20 years and her day is reduced to basic routines and eating out once a day with friends. She tends to see the same people every week at least once but usually twice and beyond eating out and attending church has nothing else going on. She has about three groups of four that she alternates days with weekly. She doesn't do anything other than maybe watch a TV show like Dancing with the Stars a couple of times a week and the news each day. She travels 4 times a year. She knows very little of my life and other family members because she doesn't care to always saying she's busy. I'm trying to figure out what these ladies talk about. I would have a very hard time keep conversation going without actually doing anything new or thinking about anything new. Ailments? I'm generally curious how to get through daily dinner parties at that age with such a sparse agenda.

[Anonymous]

My first thought was aches and pains.

But I'm sure it depends on the crowd. I have relatives who would discuss philosophy. Some sports. Some guns. Some a mix.

And of course children and grandkids. Memories.

[Anonymous]

1. Medical woes.
2. They really can't hear each other anyway, so it doesn't matter if they recite the same news at every get-together. It's sort of like parallel play: each old lady recites her own medical woes or grandchild brags and they nod and say their own thing.

Not trying to diss the elderly; I'm just reporting what I see when my 86yo mom gets together with her friends. Honestly, three different groups of four in rotation sounds like a very healthy social life. I wish I had that many friends I saw regularly.

[Anonymous]

I think your mom's social life seems healthy. Maybe less judgment?

[Anonymous]

Agree it's like parallel play. I was just wondering so I can plan for the future. I like the idea of it but would have no way to keep a conversation going with people who didn't have interesting things to discuss. I guess by that time it won't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your mom's social life seems healthy. Maybe less judgment?

Not judging and it wouldn't matter if I did anyway. She does what she wants. Just trying to understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your mom's social life seems healthy. Maybe less judgment?

Agreed! Be grateful that your mother HAS a social life. So many older people are very socially isolated. This daily social contact will keep her mind and body healthier for longer so she will be less of a burden on you in the long run.

[Anonymous]

How old is your mother, OP?

[Anonymous]

I can't relate to your confusion. My 87 yo mother and her friends talk about everything - current event/news, TV shows, the people they know, family, what they're reading, their next get together. Yes, they talk about their and other's health and ailments but that's not the only thing they talk about. They get bored with those that only complain about their aches and pains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't relate to your confusion. My 87 yo mother and her friends talk about everything - current event/news, TV shows, the people they know, family, what they're reading, their next get together. Yes, they talk about their and other's health and ailments but that's not the only thing they talk about. They get bored with those that only complain about their aches and pains.

I agree with this. My parents never run out of things to talk about with their friends just like I don’t with my friends.

It’s like some people have never spent any time with older people and keep looking for things to label as negative.

[Anonymous]

Four trips a year? That would be enough to talk about for my mom. She’s obsessed with her cruises.

Otherwise, they probably complain about their husbands (the ones that are still around). Some brag about their adult children and try to one-up each other about their grandchildren. Probably some political talk, or at least general griping about the downfall of society.

[Anonymous]

Grapes

[Anonymous]

The good old days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't relate to your confusion. My 87 yo mother and her friends talk about everything - current event/news, TV shows, the people they know, family, what they're reading, their next get together. Yes, they talk about their and other's health and ailments but that's not the only thing they talk about. They get bored with those that only complain about their aches and pains.

Same with my 80-something parents. They talk a little about their kids and grandkids but my mom thinks people who only talk about that are boring.

I'm not sure why you're being so judgmental, OP.

[Anonymous]

My 80yr old mom and her friends go to rallies, protests, canvassing initiatives, community events and things like that. They talk about politics quite a bit.