Safety items for a 15 year old girl

[Anonymous]

What kind of safety items should a 15 yr old girl have? Would mace/pepper spray be sufficient?

[Anonymous]

In what context?

[Anonymous]

I’d say a phone, a whistle, and self defense classes.
Pepper spray can be turned on the victim and used to disable them.

[Anonymous]

To do what? I think the best safety items are spidey sense, the confidence to loudly say “no, get the hell away from me,” and knowing what risks not to take.

There are things that are uncontrollable, like whether she crosses paths with a predator, but the tools above can help minimize the chance of harm if that happens.

I think pepper spray could be prudent if she is a runner/hiker and likes to run/hike alone, but the place she is most likely to face harm/violence is with a boyfriend/date/person at a party, and pepper spray doesn’t help in that context.

[Anonymous]

Comprehensive sex ed, and the unshakable knowledge she won't be in trouble if she calls you from a bad situation.

[Anonymous]

Wear pants or shorts under skirts
Training in wrestling or bjj
Phone
Big dog

[Anonymous]

Mine never had anything like pepper spray.

I agree with PP that the most important is spidey sense. Be aware of your surroundings. Walk confidently and like you know where you are going. Don't have face in your phone or staring at your feet. If there's a dark spot on the road (like lights are out, there's a hidden alley way, etc.), cross to the other side. If you see a single male, cross to the other side. Try to always be with a friend.

Before she started doing things like taking the train alone, we had a lot of conversations that were basically "it's okay to be rude." Like, if you are sitting on a train that's 50% empty and a man comes and sit next to you, just get up and move and sit by a woman. Any man who would sit next to a teen girl if there are lots of empty seats is suspect. If a guy starts to chat you up, don't smile and try to politely brush him off. Just say "I'm sorry, I need to leave" and change cars. If a guy crosses a line (touches you inappropriately, is following you from car to car) do not be afriad to ask an adult for help, call transit police, etc. (You always hear these stories of creepy guys on places touching teen girls -- the first time my teen daughter rode alone, I told her if a guy touches you at all, you immediately scream and tell the flight attendant you need to be moved.)

Make sure she knows how to use the emergency functions on her phone. Mine knows this better than I do, but there is some function where if you press the side button a few times rapidly, it calls 911 and i think may also send a text to a designated person or something? I also always have location on for her.

Mine has self-defense training (karate black belt) but I don't have much confidence she could effectively use it in a bad situation.

Someone is going to say I sound paranoid, but I actually give my teens a ton of freedom -- they travel independently, go places with friends, etc. But I want them to be really confident and aware of their surroundings. And I don't want my girls to fall into the "polite, don't want to be rude" trap that so many predators take advantage of. I think that's the best defense.

Also, I would not let my teen girls job on trails unless they were VERY well populated and light out, and even then ideally not alone. Better to job on well-lit neighborhood sidewalks in front of everyone's ring camera! And I think if I had a runner I would also buy a German Shephard.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old has a sound alarm on their keychain.

[Anonymous]

“The Gift of Fear”, by Gavin de Becker. Good info on behaviors and events that often precede violence, how to assess a situation, and how to stay safe.

[Anonymous]

Yours probably isn’t doing this yet but when mine were old enough to take Uber alone we went over quickly opening the door when they got in before the car left to make sure the back child safety locks were not on. I never had them take pepper spray anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d say a phone, a whistle, and self defense classes.
Pepper spray can be turned on the victim and used to disable them.

This is a paternalistic, callous canard foisted on generations of women by (typically male) law enforcement officers who spend their own lives armed to the teeth.

My own concern would be whether a minor is allowed to have pepper spray in the relevant jurisdiction. Probably not allowed on school property. Elsewhere you’d need to check.

Try and find training at least online and preferably in person. DC IMPACT runs classes where women get to beat up a padded attacker.

Anybody who plans to use a whistle for self defense should know a good prosthodontist to replace the teeth they lose when an assailant punches it as hard as (s)he can.