How would you feel about this?

[Anonymous]

DD is on a team that is not doing well right now. The coach is very negative about the team and their ability to compete. Has disparaged players on the team to other parents. Coach also says it’s not their fault DD’s team isn’t good because another team they coach is doing fairly well. It feels like this coach doesn’t know how to get through to the girls and has basically written them off.

How bad is this in the grand scheme of things? We are still pretty new to all this. DD is one of the better players on the team but of course has things she needs to work on. I worry that the coach’s attitude will negatively affect DD and the other players in terms of their development and interest in the sport. Should we stick it out or try to get out ASAP? There would be financial and other implications to leaving. Is there ground to get some money back given the above info? Don’t necessarily want to burn a bridge in case this particular coach doesn’t stick around in the future, but i worry that’s what might happen if we bring all this to the organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is on a team that is not doing well right now. The coach is very negative about the team and their ability to compete. Has disparaged players on the team to other parents. Coach also says it’s not their fault DD’s team isn’t good because another team they coach is doing fairly well. It feels like this coach doesn’t know how to get through to the girls and has basically written them off.

How bad is this in the grand scheme of things? We are still pretty new to all this. DD is one of the better players on the team but of course has things she needs to work on. I worry that the coach’s attitude will negatively affect DD and the other players in terms of their development and interest in the sport. Should we stick it out or try to get out ASAP? There would be financial and other implications to leaving. Is there ground to get some money back given the above info? Don’t necessarily want to burn a bridge in case this particular coach doesn’t stick around in the future, but i worry that’s what might happen if we bring all this to the organization.

Which sport?

[Anonymous]

The coach's attitude is not acceptable. If it was just the negativity, I might be willing to see if it passed, but disparaging players to other parents is a BIG no no. If you leave you should not expect money back, but you can be clear to the organization why you are leaving.

If you want more specific feedback, it would be helpful to disclose the age of DD and sport.

[Anonymous]

Learning how to deal with bad coaches is one reason playing sports prepare you for life.

There are very few good coaches.

[Anonymous]

Why would you post this in a generic sports forum without saying which sport? It matters because are we taking about a sport in the middle of the season, finishing the season etc or just starting?

[Anonymous]

Age? And is this an influential organization in this sport?

I’d stick it out until the end of the season, particularly since you already paid. I wouldn’t want to burn bridges with this organization as you are correct- could come back to bite you later. Maybe the org is aware of the coaching issues and will replace coach for next season? Lots can happen. If you find it truly intolerable, I’d pull her but use some sort of soft personal excuse (family issues, parent work schedule or similar), not mention the coaching issues, and consider the money gone.

Unfortunately as a pp said, dealing with bad coaches is part of sports. There are a lot of them. And you have to be really careful about not burning bridges with a coach or org because it can really come back to bite you later on IME. If you do ever leave a team due to coaching, better to make up some other excuse that sounds plausible and allows coach to save face.

[Anonymous]

We're sort of in a club like that, where one team isn't doing that well and the other one hasn't lost a game, both in the same age group. Although from what I know, don't have the issue of the coach disparaging players.

I guess my question is if you know how/why the other team is winning and if you feel like your daughter is getting better.

I don't mind if my kids are on losing teams, as long as I see that they're getting better and developing as a player.(as well as enjoying the experience)

But in the current club that they're in and also on a previous team, which won a lot too, I saw the teams winning mainly based on size and athleticism and the players didn't know the basic/fundamentals of things. Which is why I pulled my kid from their previous team and the issue I have with the current club.

We've been in teams and clubs that I liked a lot. So I don't think I'm the type of person that complains about every team my kids are in. But I'm basing my criticism from seeing properly coached and run teams.

So if you don't think your daughter is getting anything out of the team, I'd consider looking elsewhere for the next season.

With the disparaging other players, I don't really see it as acceptable. Like maaaybe if the player is really that bad and the coach is talking to someone offline about it, where I've had some good coaches describe some players like that, but it's outside of the setting where no other players or families can hear it. Or maybe if they're doing it in some constructive way or something. But the way I'm picturing how you're describing it, I don't really see how it would be acceptable.

It's kind of like pp said, if it's a bigger organization, I would try to get a feel on if the coach will stick around for a while or not, either by talking to the head of the club or other families.