Pregnant with baby #2, daughter is 11 months old...are we ready?

[Anonymous]

I just found out that I'm pregnant again. Our daughter is only 11 months old. I'm just not sure I'm ready for so many reasons...we're exhausted all the time, our daughter is already a handful, work situations are uncertain at the moment. I'm the primary breadwinner and my employer is not going to respond well to this news -- in fact, I'm quite worried about layoffs at this point. Are there moms/dads out there who have made it work in spite of similar challenges? I want to be happy about this but am so stressed.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to state the obvious here, I don't think it matters if you are ready or not because you are already pregnant.

Everyone has to adapt and adding another child to the family can be stressful no matter what the situatuion. I don't think anyone can be completely ready for a new addition to the family. Your's is going to be particularly hard because you will have 2 very young childern which is enough to make anyone lose their mind.

[Anonymous]

I really feel for you OP. I think in general people often feel stressed at the beginning of a 2nd pregnancy. The thought of another child is overwhelming even if it is what you want and planned for. I am also expecting again and I have a 14 month old but I am already 15 weeks. I am finally starting to feel like we will be able to manage, feeling excited about the pregnancy and everything will be good.Yes it will be hard with two little ones but then it will be great. I think the anxiety fades and you get more used to the idea of another little one coming. As far as feeling less stressed about it, are there things you can do to reduce the uncertainty about the work situations? If you are exhausted from your DD not sleeping well, can you work on some kind of sleep training? I was relatively opposed to this but when I found out I was expecting again, I knew I need my DS to be sleeping well, otherwise I was really going to lose it. Good luck OP! I hope you will be soon feeling happy and less stressed. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

When my second child was born, we were living in the UK, and came back to the States when he was just 8 weeks old. My husband separated from the Navy that month, and we lived with my inlaws in the middle of nowhere. We tried to get an apartment, but despite the fact we had a years worth of rent in the bank, we didn't have jobs and no one would rent to us. My inlaws don't always mean well, and can be a bit rough with us, but love the children. It wasn't the ideal situation, but after a few months, DH found a job, and we moved out on our own, and six months later purchased a house. We knew before we even attempted to TTC that there was going to be unemployment in our future, and that our destination was unknown, but we did it anyway. There is never a good time to plan to have a baby, because there is always something in the "CON" column.

Having a child is one of the most wonderful things in the world. You will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! You are going to surprise (positively) yourself when you see just how much you can actually handle, how resourceful and efficient you can be, and how much love you have.

[Anonymous]

Yes i was still BFing when i found out i was pregnant with second. I was in shock. And it was scary but those 2 children are now such good friends. It was really tough when they were still babies. I was working too. All the same stuff as you cite and we made it thru it all. I was shaking some nights after the second one was born - i was so afraid of the night crying! The best thing you can do now is get your first thru the basics - sleeping thru the night, giving up the bottle & paci, get them a stuffie/blankie if you can, lots of routine, etc. And get your husband on board to take over the first when you have the second. Harsh as it sounds it makes it a lot easier on you the first few months. Also I ended up (on third) sleeping in a separate bedroom with the second so he could get a good night sleep. Something to think about. Good luck and congratulations! I bet you will be surprised how precious this second (surprise) child will be to you.

[Anonymous]

I don't blame you for being scared about your new arrival, esp. if your jobs aren't completely secure. It is a very nerve-wracking feeling to know that you could be let go at any minute and you have a growing family. I was laid off last year, one day before I went on maternity leave. We suspected lay offs and I was terrified and nervous basically my entire pregnancy = NOT GOOD! Since my company was merged, I was able to negotiate an additional paid month of leave after my short term disablity expired to look for another job. Depending on the company, you might want tostart thinkig about some of the lay off negotiations you may go through so you are prepared if and when the time comes. Always go in asking for the world (severance, etc.). Anyway...A couple weeks after delivery, I started applying for jobs (I had already updated my resume during my pregnancy).

Try and do what you can about alleviating your concerns about your jobs....despite discrimination laws, it is a lot tougher for a preganant woman to find employment, esp. if a compnay has an immediate need. Looking for a job post pregnancy wil be tough, too, but not impossible. Start working on your resumes, have your husband start applying for other positions or take classes to expand your skills. Be proactive--it will make you feel much better.

As for handling two babies....I guess you just adapt. Since you have already been through everything once, it should be a little easier. If you have family around, don't be afraid to ask for help. Take advantage of every opportunity to sleep 9as hard as that is). Eat healthy and exercise when you can.