Coworker obscured my face in every photo on work trip

[Anonymous]

I just finished a four day work trip with about 10 colleagues on Friday. We all shared the responsibility of taking photos to document events and created a shared drive for that purpose. After resting yesterday, I opened the shared drive to find that in every single photo taken/shared by one colleague, my face was fully or partially obscured. Moreover, my face is the only one obscured in the photos she took/shared and no one’s face is obscured in the photos everyone else took/shared. In some of the photos, it seems as if she went out of her way to shoot me from an angle in which an object or someone else’s body would cover just my face. Could this be a weird coincidence?

While we are not rivals to my knowledge, she and I are the only members of a particular minority group. Is this worth saying anything about since there are photos others took that I can use?

[Anonymous]

Just assume it’s a coincidence and use other photos. If she says anything about why you’re not using her photos, just state matter of fact that you wanted to use where your face isn’t covered. You will sound like a lunatic if you accuse her, trying to ensure that you are fully or partially blocked. How many pictures are we talking about here that she took and you are obscured?

[Anonymous]

I think its more likely to be coincidental. She may not be a great photographer!

I recently went on a hike with a new group. 8 people. Everyone took pictures and shared them in the group - most people shared 15-20 pictures - probably half of hikers and half of scenery in most cases. I was fully visible in 1 picture! I don't think they colluded together to not photograph me, it just happened that way!

[Anonymous]

That's funny actually.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my husband's photography skills and my placement in family photos for the past 20 years.

[Anonymous]

I would be so thrilled. At least they aren’t bad pictures if there are no pics of you at all. My “work event” photos always make me look like a cow chewing its cud or something. Ugh

[Anonymous]

OP you’d benefit from reading The Four Agreements. The second one is “don’t take anything personally”

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so thrilled. At least they aren’t bad pictures if there are no pics of you at all. My “work event” photos always make me look like a cow chewing its cud or something. Ugh

+1. The idea of work event photos is awful. My office did start this collection of photos a year or so ago — oddly, I’m not in any of them even thought I know I was at most of the events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’d benefit from reading The Four Agreements. The second one is “don’t take anything personally”

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

Full stop. Should be pinned at the top of every DCUM thread.

[Anonymous]

98% chance it was unintentional.

And if it is the 2% ... well, that person is so unhinged that you need to just ignore it and and instead of being upset by it make your mind consciously give them the grace they need to move through the world with a little more peace. Because they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so thrilled. At least they aren’t bad pictures if there are no pics of you at all. My “work event” photos always make me look like a cow chewing its cud or something. Ugh

This ^^, lol. I'm not real into people sharing candid photos of me these days...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you’d benefit from reading The Four Agreements. The second one is “don’t take anything personally”

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

NP

Wow this is a true gem. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Definitely say nothing. Who cares?! Everyone knows you were there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just finished a four day work trip with about 10 colleagues on Friday. We all shared the responsibility of taking photos to document events and created a shared drive for that purpose. After resting yesterday, I opened the shared drive to find that in every single photo taken/shared by one colleague, my face was fully or partially obscured. Moreover, my face is the only one obscured in the photos she took/shared and no one’s face is obscured in the photos everyone else took/shared. In some of the photos, it seems as if she went out of her way to shoot me from an angle in which an object or someone else’s body would cover just my face. Could this be a weird coincidence?

While we are not rivals to my knowledge, she and I are the only members of a particular minority group. Is this worth saying anything about since there are photos others took that I can use?

This sounds like an episode of the The Office.

[Anonymous]

The chance that she did this on purpose is not insignificant. Some women are just like this. I remember my PTA days when my kids were young. A woman named Sara that I went to college with coincidentally had a kid in my DD's class. We had not seen each other in years but were close back in the day.

We both volunteered to be room moms/chaperones/helpers without consulting each other. We were picked, along with another woman I casually knew through the school. That mom had no idea Sara and I knew each other.

Literally on the first fild trip (I couldn't go- work conflict) this other mom spewed several horrific lies about me. She told Sara she'd heard I'd had an affair with another dad and that there was suspicion I kept some funds from a bake sale a year earlier. I didn't even work the bake sale!

Bottom line- some women never outgrow middle school and will do whatever they can to knock down people they see as a threat.