MCPS middle schools where trans kids aren't bullied?

[Anonymous]

My son is in 8th grade at a Silver Spring (20902) middle school. He's never liked the school and hasn't had many friends throughout middle school. He came out as trans in late spring and started this school year presenting as a boy with a different name and pronouns. With the exception of one, adults at school have been supportive and have followed MCPS policies. Students have been less accepting, and he now faces daily bullying. It's not one kid or one group of kids. Sometimes it's a student he doesn't even know the name of calling him the f slur or "it" out of nowhere. He feels almost universally reviled. He doesn't know any other LGBTQ students there and there doesn't seem to be much school support for them. After a particularly bad day, my son refused to go back to his school. I reached out to the school explaining the situation and asking for advice. I was told that the they would work through a supportive measures plan when my son returned. This type of plan doesn't seem appropriate or likely to help my son's situation, given that issues are so pervasive and basically a matter of school culture. My son's therapist recommended changing schools, and the school pointed us toward COSA, saying it would likely be approved under the circumstances.

I know there are MCPS middle schools with more inclusive cultures, but which ones are they? Our child who's a couple of years older went to the magnet program at TPMS, where kids were proactively asked about their pronouns, lots of other LGBTQ kids were out, the school had an active club for these students and allies, pride month was mentioned, etc. - all missing from my younger son's school. But I'm not sure which middle school to request for my younger son, particularly since he won't be eligible for transportation. I'm not sure how to ascertain the ambient level of hostility toward trans kids at area schools based on publicly-available information. Does anyone have insights or experiences with other Silver Spring middle schools that speak to their culture and treatment of trans kids? What do you think you would do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

You might have more luck at Pyle. My kids were there and it was not without some bullying, but there is a strongly supportive trans culture at Whitman, the HS it leads into and connections between both places. Erika Huck is a counselor at Pyle you might want to talk to her, she is extremely good at her job.

[Anonymous]

I don't think any of them will be better and middle school is the worst.

Einstein is ok for trans kids, though I do know one who was bullied.

[Anonymous]

I’m a little confused as to why you don’t request TPMS since you know what that culture is and it would be good for your child. Wouldn’t you have to transport to any school if you get cosa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little confused as to why you don’t request TPMS since you know what that culture is and it would be good for your child. Wouldn’t you have to transport to any school if you get cosa?

Yeah. TPMS has a lot of gender diverse kids and an accepting culture. It's also the closest MS for most kids in bounds at SSIMS.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you want to choose Silver Creek.

[Anonymous]

NBMS is a good choice. Feeds to WJ. Also accepting of all types of diversity

[Anonymous]

My kids go to Sligo/Einstein and I know of trans kids in the cluster. I don't know their families well enough to know how much bullying they've faced, but the trans kids seem happy and involved in school based activities. Sorry for what your son is going through, OP. Middle school kids can be awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little confused as to why you don’t request TPMS since you know what that culture is and it would be good for your child. Wouldn’t you have to transport to any school if you get cosa?

OP here. My only hesitation with requesting TPMS is that it's pretty far away. I'd need to spend more than two hours of my workday driving him to and from school. Luckily, that's not impossible for me to do, but it would be a challenge. I guess I'm hoping that there is another middle school with a similar vibe and reputation that's a little closer to home.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that your son is being bullied. I’m sure that part of it is that it’s a change for kids who knew him before, which makes them uncomfortable. Hopefully a new setting where kids only know your son now will make it easier for him to make friends.

A COSA takes a while for approval. Is your son refusing school entirely? The start of second quarter would an ideal time to transfer. But otherwise, he might need to wait until second semester

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little confused as to why you don’t request TPMS since you know what that culture is and it would be good for your child. Wouldn’t you have to transport to any school if you get cosa?

OP here. My only hesitation with requesting TPMS is that it's pretty far away. I'd need to spend more than two hours of my workday driving him to and from school. Luckily, that's not impossible for me to do, but it would be a challenge. I guess I'm hoping that there is another middle school with a similar vibe and reputation that's a little closer to home.

j

Why not have him ride the magnet bus? It's not like they check the magnet credentials for kids to ride.

[Anonymous]

As my 9th grader now says, "Everyone's gay at Loiederman." I can't verify that but it gives a little insight into that school culture.

I have a genderfluid 7th grader at Tilden and hasn't faced any issues thus far. All their teachers have used they/them consistently and immediately started using DC's preferred name, even before I contacted the office to have it changed in Synergy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you want to choose Silver Creek.

What is going on at Silver Creek?

[Anonymous]

Tilden or NBMS.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry your son is going through this. Unfortunately from my experience, it seems like even supposedly supportive schools still have bullying.

I am going to guess your son is on the spectrum, has mental health disorders or is quirky/been having social issues for quite sometime? Being Trans won’t solve those underlying issues. Being trans won’t make kids won’t make other kids not see those underlying issues.

From my experience, trans kids who face most bullying are those who are on the spectrum/are quirky and don’t have social skills to fit in. They are getting bullied due to lack of social skills and general quirkiness. The bullying comes out as trans insults though. But I’ve noticed the trans kid who have good enough social skills aren’t getting bullied for being trans.

Make sure you are working on his social skills even if he moves schools. Doesn’t WJ have a 2e program? That could be an option for high school but is there a middle school with a similar program?