Do you let your 12 yrs old daughter do this ?

[Anonymous]

Am I too strict? My daughter starts middle school. She made some new friends both boys & girls at her new middle school. We dropped her off at the mall to hang out with friends. After that, She asked if she can go to her female friend’s house hang out with both few boys & girls. We only know their names. I told her no because we do not know the parents nor her friends. My husband got mad at me for saying no. He said that she should be able to live her life now not when she turns 18 ! I told him. She is a girl & 12 years old. I don’t feel comfortable letting her play with both boys & girls when I don’t know how other parents keep their eyes on the kids. Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Nope. In middle school, my kids did not go into homes where I hadn't met the parents, and they didn't hang out as a group with kids I didn't know if at least one parent wasn't there.

I know some parents don't care, but the parents I know (my neighbors and friends) all care.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know the parents, and know they were home.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I want to talk or meet the parents and make sure they are home supervising.

[Anonymous]

I'd have taken her, walked up to the door with her and said hello to the parents confirming they were home and would be keeping an eye out. She can choose to either deal with that embarrassment or not go at all.

[Anonymous]

To explain more... my husband said I let my 14 years old 9th grade went to his friend’s house without seeing his friend and his friend’s parents. I said the 14 is a boy and 9th grade. My daughter is 12 & 7th grade. The boy can’t carry a baby but the 12 years old can !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To explain more... my husband said I let my 14 years old 9th grade went to his friend’s house without seeing his friend and his friend’s parents. I said the 14 is a boy and 9th grade. My daughter is 12 & 7th grade. The boy can’t carry a baby but the 12 years old can !

Nope, you lost me here. I want to either know the parents or know they're home, but rules go by age and kid, not by genitals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To explain more... my husband said I let my 14 years old 9th grade went to his friend’s house without seeing his friend and his friend’s parents. I said the 14 is a boy and 9th grade. My daughter is 12 & 7th grade. The boy can’t carry a baby but the 12 years old can !

Crude, OP, very crude. I had this no-visit rule for my son and my daughter. Boys can get sexually assaulted too. And both genders can get drunk and get run over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I too strict? My daughter starts middle school. She made some new friends both boys & girls at her new middle school. We dropped her off at the mall to hang out with friends. After that, She asked if she can go to her female friend’s house hang out with both few boys & girls. We only know their names. I told her no because we do not know the parents nor her friends. My husband got mad at me for saying no. He said that she should be able to live her life now not when she turns 18 ! I told him. She is a girl & 12 years old. I don’t feel comfortable letting her play with both boys & girls when I don’t know how other parents keep their eyes on the kids. Am I wrong?

Nope, this seems like the time were the boys and girls could get into trouble together. They are still immature and you shouldn't risk it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd have taken her, walked up to the door with her and said hello to the parents confirming they were home and would be keeping an eye out. She can choose to either deal with that embarrassment or not go at all.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Np. Neither I nor DH would feel safe to allow DD12 to unknown peoples houses with groups of boys and girls, even if the parents are home. What if the parents don’t supervise the kids if they think kids are old enough, or allow kids to close door and do whatever they want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To explain more... my husband said I let my 14 years old 9th grade went to his friend’s house without seeing his friend and his friend’s parents. I said the 14 is a boy and 9th grade. My daughter is 12 & 7th grade. The boy can’t carry a baby but the 12 years old can !

Yikes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To explain more... my husband said I let my 14 years old 9th grade went to his friend’s house without seeing his friend and his friend’s parents. I said the 14 is a boy and 9th grade. My daughter is 12 & 7th grade. The boy can’t carry a baby but the 12 years old can !

Crude, OP, very crude. I had this no-visit rule for my son and my daughter. Boys can get sexually assaulted too. And both genders can get drunk and get run over.

Not only can a boy get sexually assaulted (or drunk or high or shot) but your boy can father a baby or be accused of doing so. You should have met the 14yo friend's parents and made sure they were home to supervise.

[Anonymous]

I would let my 12 year old do this. She’s going to a cast party for her school play, and I don’t know the parents.
My daughter literally wants to be a nun right now, so that might impact my decision. If she was a different kind of girl, I might feel differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let my 12 year old do this. She’s going to a cast party for her school play, and I don’t know the parents.
My daughter literally wants to be a nun right now, so that might impact my decision. If she was a different kind of girl, I might feel differently.

This is different because it’s an official get together for a school activity with the kids so do the activity.

What OP’s talking about is meeting up with rando kids who could go to the school or could have been found at the mall.

OP, you’re right to be worried about this situation.