What matters more- the parents or the school?

[Anonymous]

We are educated professionals. My husband thinks that just based on this fact alone, our kids will be fine at our neighborhood school (it’s pretty decent), which is walkable from our home. We also have the option of private or testing into gifted schools but these options are 17-30 mins away from us. It may be that these schools aren’t any better than our public school since these gifted and private schools basically selective for type A parents. In your opinion, does the school matter as much as the parents?

[Anonymous]

Parents matter more. Kids with educated, involved parents have a huge advantage over those who don't.

Educated parents + good admin and happy teachers= higher achievement, lower turnover

Educated parents + bad admin and unhappy teachers= higher achievement, higher turnover*

Uneducated parents + good admin and happy teachers= lower achievement, lower turnover

Uneducated parents + bad admin and unhappy teachers= lower achievement, higher turnover

*Turnover in this scenario might include getting a bad administrator kicked out

[Anonymous]

If the child is in the "best fit" school, then they will learn more and be happier. That could be private or public, depending on the child. Each child is different.

As _contrived_ examples, an extroverted child might fit well in a public school class with 25-30 students, but a quiet introverted child might find that class size to be stressful (e.g., too many people) in which case a school with smaller class sizes likely would be better.

Public HSs in this area are large, so they sometimes offer more course options than a smaller private HS. They also usually have larger class sizes.

Some families want a faith-based school, whether that is Catholic, Episcopal, Jewish, or Muslim.

A colleague was committed to public for all of their kids until one school day an incident occurred at public school. The next day, all 3 kids were pulled out of public. A short while later, all were attending a Catholic school, primarily for physical safety reasons.

Pick the school which is the best fit for your DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are educated professionals. My husband thinks that just based on this fact alone, our kids will be fine at our neighborhood school (it’s pretty decent), which is walkable from our home. We also have the option of private or testing into gifted schools but these options are 17-30 mins away from us. It may be that these schools aren’t any better than our public school since these gifted and private schools basically selective for type A parents. In your opinion, does the school matter as much as the parents?

Matter more for what? Happy, independent adults? Or getting into Ivy Leagues?

In my experience and those around me, parents trump school in every case.

[Anonymous]

Private schools select not for Type-A personalities, but instead for families where education is a high priority.

[Anonymous]

The parents definitely matter more. My kids were at a private school full of entitled parents who talked badly about public schoolers in front of their kids. That level of entitlement trickled down to their kids. We should have left that school sooner, but I thought it would get better and I believed in the school. When we switched schools to a larger public school, my kids thrived. The parents were normal parents who were happy, but not entitled, their kids were at that school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are educated professionals. My husband thinks that just based on this fact alone, our kids will be fine at our neighborhood school (it’s pretty decent), which is walkable from our home. We also have the option of private or testing into gifted schools but these options are 17-30 mins away from us. It may be that these schools aren’t any better than our public school since these gifted and private schools basically selective for type A parents. In your opinion, does the school matter as much as the parents?

Matter more for what? Happy, independent adults? Or getting into Ivy Leagues?

In my experience and those around me, parents trump school in every case.

Op for me it’s more about having a solid education and foundation. I don’t care if my kids go to Ivy League universities but I want them to be able to excel in academics so nothing is off the tables for them.

[Anonymous]

A free, walkable neighborhood school with neighborhood friends is ideal.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kids. For my kids, school is also important, because of the peers. If the peers are not interested in education it's harder to accomplish goals at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are educated professionals. My husband thinks that just based on this fact alone, our kids will be fine at our neighborhood school (it’s pretty decent), which is walkable from our home. We also have the option of private or testing into gifted schools but these options are 17-30 mins away from us. It may be that these schools aren’t any better than our public school since these gifted and private schools basically selective for type A parents. In your opinion, does the school matter as much as the parents?

Parents who are involved are more influential than the school, but the school environment still influences your kids' attitudes toward high academic achievement. There are more pros than cons to sending your kids to a better school. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

In lower ES, parents matter more. By 5th grade or so, kids naturally become more interested in their peers and fitting in. You’re probably fine for ES but have a plan B just in case.

[Anonymous]

If the neighborhood school truly is "decent" - as you say - then your kids will be just fine there. But if the school environment is not conducive to supporting strong academic achievers - maybe because the school doesn't believe in disciplining disruptive students or the teachers just don't give a damn about whether their students are learning- these things affect a child's psyche. Your child will probably be fine but doubtful that they will thrive in such an environment.

[Anonymous]

Parents- including parents of the other kids. Part of the secret sauce of private (in our experience with 3 schools) is the other kids have like-minded parents and the teachers get a class full of kids with home support.

[Anonymous]

Parents overall, school on the margins.

I’ve often thought the schools don’t really add much (public or private), but they sure can screw a kid up.

[Anonymous]

I ran through this: first kid at the local public. Wealthy parents intensely focused on education, smart kids. Curriculum *sucked*, admin was a genial happy clappy jumper on the latest trend. Got a chance to send second kid to an immersion school, where the parents were less wealthy, kids a bit dumber, but the curriculum was better and the buttoned-down principal was not pushing laptops at every opportunity. School 2 was better.