Who Attends a Graduation Ceremony?

[Anonymous]

This birthday party thread got me thinking about this. Who should be expected to attend which family events? I know it varies by family, but I’d like to hear what the structure is like in other families.

I’m particularly interested in who should be expected to attend things like dance recitals, and graduation ceremonies. As we know these can be dreadfully boring for family members outside the parents and grandparents but it seems like often times there’s expectations that aunts, uncles and cousins attend. Often times there’s travel included as well as lodging too.

I’m all for families sharing moments together, but what should be the boundary?Parents and siblings? Maybe Grandparents?

I ask because while I love my family and DH’s family, we attended his cousins grad school graduation last spring and it was brutal. DH agreed as well but said he felt like we had to attend. They’re not close either.

[Anonymous]

Parents and siblings. Grandparents if there are enough tickets available and grandparents want to go.

[Anonymous]

I did not invite anyone to my son's high school graduation, with 750 graduates. It's so excruciatingly boring, who in their right mind would ever want to go?!?

Maybe a couple of close friends/relatives for his college graduation. It's on the National Mall, so that might be a draw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents and siblings. Grandparents if there are enough tickets available and grandparents want to go.

this

[Anonymous]

For our family, when my daughters graduated, their sisters attended. When my grandsons have stepping up/graduation ceremonies or sports games, me and dh( grandparents) and my 2 other daughters attend everything they can if their work/school schedule allows.

[Anonymous]

Parents and siblings.

Even for parents and siblings it is boring

[Anonymous]

When I graduated college, my parents (divorced), their respective spouses, uncle, his girlfriend at the time, and my brother attended. My other two siblings were in HS at the time and couldn’t make it. Large NYC university, graduation at Madison square garden.

It was lovely.

[Anonymous]

HS graduation really only parents expected. Maybe siblings, a close aunt/uncle, or grandparents if they affirmatively want to or if child is speaking. Generally it is hours of painful peaches to watch someone who is a small speck walk across a stage. Better to meet for dinner after if you are local!

[Anonymous]

For graduation it depends on how many tickets they allow each grad to have and how bit your family is. But anyone can come to your party!

[Anonymous]

Almost nobody except the parents wants to listen to all that! I cried with joy when Covid made it so we didn’t “have” to bring siblings. I prefer to be focused on the event and not worried about getting Nana a seat close enough to see and dealing with bathroom breaks for siblings. If people want to come, lovely. But I always tell family it’s not at all expected. Most appreciate the pass to sit it out.

My husband and father stood in the lobby for 90% of the dance recitals and only popped in to watch our kids dance.

[Anonymous]

Relativesyou hate because it’s most god awful boring event.

[Anonymous]

This varies depending on your own family dynamics. In my family it would be the parents, grandparents, and one Aunt. The one particular Aunt is very close to our family and attends anything related to the kids. There is an Uncle, too, but we are not close to this Uncle, and he doesn't attend anything ever. We were pleasantly surprised when one of our kids graduated that several extended family members flew in from out of town to attend. It was a great-grandmother, two great-aunts, and three 2nd cousins. We were also lucky to be able to get tickets for everyone to get in.

[Anonymous]

Parents, siblings and for us, one set of grandparents because they live close. Our family doesn’t expect extended family to attend graduations, recitals, sports games, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm the aunt and I asked if I could attend recitals and the like. I love it. I'll attend whatever I'm invited to.

[Anonymous]

I'm an aunt, not a mom, but when my older niece and nephew graduated from high school, parents, one grandparent on each side (the surviving ones), and two aunts attended. That was a lot, the ceremonies are frankly extremely boring, and more importantly wrangling all the out-of-town guests added a big load to my sister's complicated schedule. I'm still glad I went because it was the last time those grandparents would be at an event together, but still. And we hardly saw the graduands, since they were off at parties with their friends. By time the third kid graduated, everybody agreed that just parents was just fine, and we could have a family celebration separately over the summer.