Tired of SN parenting shaming because of disability

[Anonymous]

Apologies as I’ve posted before.I’m stuck in a deep thought. I’m sure I’ll be roasted:

Is anyone tired of SN parent blame? Go to the DCUM school district forums and the finger gets pointed at “those kids who don’t belong in mainstream classes.” Have a question at an IEP meeting and it always seems to end with a version of “your kid isn’t a snowflake. It’s the parents fault.”

Sure, I guess my kids disabilities are technically “my fault.” It’s genetics and a rare medical condition.

We read article after article about teachers quitting, budget shortfalls, special Ed program cuts, rising rates of autism/adhd, pandemic learning loss. administrative scandals, overcrowding, crumbling school buildings, declining test scores, and monthly school shootings.

Obviously the current US education system is not sunshine and roses.

At what point will or can someone admit that the system is broken and that maybe it is part (a lot) of the problem?

Id be happy with an honest answer at an IEP meeting with a teacher or administrator saying “Yes. It is unfortunate that we can’t meet your child’s needs. I wish we could do better” instead of the “you get what you get and don’t get upset”’mantra.

Anyone else tired of one sided battles?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but on the forum I’m equally tired of SN parents who blanket lump all SN kids together and criticize other parents in ways that aren’t constructive.

I’m not saying you are doing that, but there are definitely some SN parents doing the same things in reverse (eg, saying things like “obviously you’ve ignorant and have never met an ADHD/ND kid” as a response to a thread).

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it helps to focus too much on fault. Often it is no one’s fault things are the way they are. But resources are limited and teachers, etc are stretched thin. Mainstreaming is mostly good but it does mean the teacher has many more responsibilities to deal with and the chances of having one or more disruptive students in a classroom is much higher. Everyone is affected to a smaller or larger degree.

[Anonymous]

When I see those posts, I always thing of the saying "There but for the grace of God go I". There is a lot of judgement regarding the parenting of children with SN, but one needs to only browse the boards for a few minutes to understand how much parents of children with SN are sacrificing to try to help their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see those posts, I always thing of the saying "There but for the grace of God go I". There is a lot of judgement regarding the parenting of children with SN, but one needs to only browse the boards for a few minutes to understand how much parents of children with SN are sacrificing to try to help their children.

Not OP, but just wanted say, thank you for this lovely response.