Why are some students allowed frequent dress code violations?

[Anonymous]

We get photos throughout the week, and there are always two children in the lower school who are consistently out of dress code in each. DD has asked me why Larla doesn't follow it, and I honestly have no answer for her. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

good opportunity to teach your child to worry about themselves and not judge others or be petty - maybe the school knows the other kids households are struggling in some way and are trying to be kind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:good opportunity to teach your child to worry about themselves and not judge others or be petty - maybe the school knows the other kids households are struggling in some way and are trying to be kind

Agreed. You can also explain that dress codes are hard to enforce fairly and the teachers sometimes have to make a decision about what is the best to do in a particular situation. Remind her that dress codes help everyone know the expectations, but that people with power also may make different decisions about enforcing rules.

[Anonymous]

I honestly do not understand this either. Our school talks a really big game about dress code and then social media is full of kids who are not even close to the letter of the law. From what I hear from my kids only certain teachers talk about dress code infractions, so that's part of it.

But if I have to sort through 10 emails about dress code, then maybe talk to your social media team about it as well.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the kid has a sensory issue
Maybe there is a financial hardship
Maybe there is something happening at home.

Please make it about grace - you never know when you need it.

[Anonymous]

Because some teachers enforce it more strictly than others.

Because some kids have physical or mental health reasons that a part of the dress code doesn't work for them.

Because many dress code have subjective definitions and so they are more frequently enforced against girls and/or more developed kids

Because they just don't like your child and like the other kid more

Because for some kids "pick your battles" includes not picking a dress code battle.

Because in life sometimes these things happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the kid has a sensory issue
Maybe there is a financial hardship
Maybe there is something happening at home.

Please make it about grace - you never know when you need it.

As a parent when talking to my own kids or even thinking about the kids involved, I definitely try to.

But for the school? It's harder to give grace to the school if it's a widespread pattern. For a one-off or occasional thing sure. But if some kids get coded all the time and some don't, it gets old.

[Anonymous]

What sort of dress codes violations did you see, OP?

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:good opportunity to teach your child to worry about themselves and not judge others or be petty - maybe the school knows the other kids households are struggling in some way and are trying to be kind

Sort of. We do not really have many dress code violations are my child's school so it is not really an issue for us but that being said - yes agree you do not need to judge others or what they are doing BUT if you kid is getting violations and feeling others are not fro the same thing then yes those are valid feelings for your kid and then it does affect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What sort of dress codes violations did you see, OP?

I am not op but I think you are missing the point. OP is saying some are getting into trouble and others are not and that is their issue. Am I correct OP? I am sure OP would not care otherwise?

[Anonymous]

I like dress codes (for the most part). When people complain about a note coming home about a missing belt or no tie on days they are needed, I remind them why this can be helpful. Even in first grade, a child can understand that I need to put my belt in a place I can easily find it tomorrow, or Monday morning.
Hair and skirt lengths, particularly in HS, are harder. But, it is okay to have rules that need to be followed. It there is a request to change those rules, take it up with admin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What sort of dress codes violations did you see, OP?

The biggest one is that boys have to wear collared shirts and girls have to wear leggings under dresses. The boy in question wears a graphic t-shirt every day and the girl in question never wears leggings. I understand the grace bit, but this is hard to explain away, especially in private. DD doesn't judge, but she's curious as to what rules are ok to break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter?

Yes. Consistency is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What sort of dress codes violations did you see, OP?

The biggest one is that boys have to wear collared shirts and girls have to wear leggings under dresses. The boy in question wears a graphic t-shirt every day and the girl in question never wears leggings. I understand the grace bit, but this is hard to explain away, especially in private. DD doesn't judge, but she's curious as to what rules are ok to break.

Those are big/obvious enough violations that my guess is there is something going on that you don't know about and isn't really any of your business.