Big changes: When to move my daughter to her brother’s room?

[Anonymous]

Baby number three is due in March. We’re in a three bedroom. My son is 4.5 and in a large bedroom. My daughter is newly 3 and in a much smaller bedroom. The big kids will need to share sometime before the baby comes. When to move her?

Relevant considerations:
-The kids are best friends and get along great.
-Little Girl has had a ton of big changes recently. Said goodbye to her beloved nanny, started PK3, and just moved into a big girl bed.
-I want to separate the room change from the baby arriving. We’ve been previewing it as “Wow, Larla, you’re getting so big - soon you’ll be big enough to move into Larlo’s room with him!” But it means we need a solid gap between her moving and the baby coming so she doesn’t feel replaced.
-We will need the small room for the baby from day one - he’ll mostly sleep in our room, but will have a night nanny 2x a week and he’ll likely sleep in his room those nights.
-Both big kids still nap, much better at home than at school, so them napping in the same room may present a challenge. On vacations they share at night but one naps in our room, and we may end up having to do a similar thing once they’re sharing. That makes me want to wait as long as possible to move them together - my son won’t nap forever!

Thoughts? When would you move her?

[Anonymous]

Maybe start by seeing if they want to try a "sleepover" in the big room?

[Anonymous]

I’d do it the next 3 day weekend. Are you just putting her bed in his room or are you making changes to the room to make it theirs? I’d be as concerned about his adjustment as hers, be sure to prep them both for this, together and separately.

Our kids share rooms and our older kid started napping/quiet time in our room when they moved into the same room. She’s almost 9 and still loves to read and color in our bed at quiet time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d do it the next 3 day weekend. Are you just putting her bed in his room or are you making changes to the room to make it theirs? I’d be as concerned about his adjustment as hers, be sure to prep them both for this, together and separately.

Our kids share rooms and our older kid started napping/quiet time in our room when they moved into the same room. She’s almost 9 and still loves to read and color in our bed at quiet time.

OP here! Good point. We’re definitely talking about it with both of them. We will actually be moving my son to a new twin bed and my daughter into his toddler bed. We aren’t planning on major decor changes or anything, though certainly rearranging the furniture. We are also planning to replace the chair that’s in there with a loveseat so we can easily read together, and we were going to let them help pick it out. I’ll think about other things we can do to make it feel like “theirs.”

I’m surprised you recommend so soon - why not wait a few months?

[Anonymous]

Have you considered moving your son into the smaller room with her instead? Eventually the boys will be sharing right? So move him temporarily until the night nurse is done.

[Anonymous]

Maybe let her pick out new sheets or a stuffed animal for the new room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you considered moving your son into the smaller room with her instead? Eventually the boys will be sharing right? So move him temporarily until the night nurse is done.

OP here. Yes, eventually the boys will be sharing. But 1) the room size difference is extreme. There truly is not room for a second bed in the smaller room, and the big room is actually a second master bedroom - probably three times the size of the small room. And 2) Especially given that the older two are besties AND the younger will have a much bigger age gap, I would guess that we won’t rejigger for at least a couple of years, possibly longer.

[Anonymous]

I would move her during winter break. That will give everyone time to adjust when they don’t have school. I would let them decorate their room together for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her pick out new sheets or a stuffed animal for the new room?

OP here. This is a great idea. One thing that I worry will be tough on my daughter is the decor stuff won’t be coming with her. I put a lot of thought into the decor of both rooms - hers is rainbow dots, his is sunflowers (this post is officially super identifying but whatever) and neither is getting redecorated at this time. So the rainbow sheets and curtains and rug and stuff on the walls, is all staying and we have plenty of sunflower stuff for the bed in the other room. But maybe like a stuffed sunflower or something else green or yellow that would be “hers” in her new room would be good. I was also thinking about maybe making like a painting with her name and a sunflower (she’s really into the letters of her name right now) that she could hang… lots to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would move her during winter break. That will give everyone time to adjust when they don’t have school. I would let them decorate their room together for the holidays.

OP here. This is a FABULOUS idea. We have tons of Christmas decorations and they would love this. Thank you!

So many good ideas on this thread! Keep em coming!!

[Anonymous]

I shared a room with my younger brother for several years and we had a great time! No boy/girl issues if that is what people are concerned about. We actually felt sad when it came time for me to move into my own room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her pick out new sheets or a stuffed animal for the new room?

OP here. This is a great idea. One thing that I worry will be tough on my daughter is the decor stuff won’t be coming with her. I put a lot of thought into the decor of both rooms - hers is rainbow dots, his is sunflowers (this post is officially super identifying but whatever) and neither is getting redecorated at this time. So the rainbow sheets and curtains and rug and stuff on the walls, is all staying and we have plenty of sunflower stuff for the bed in the other room. But maybe like a stuffed sunflower or something else green or yellow that would be “hers” in her new room would be good. I was also thinking about maybe making like a painting with her name and a sunflower (she’s really into the letters of her name right now) that she could hang… lots to think about.

I would reconsider this, OP. That’s a lot of change for a young child. Let her at least have her bedding for now. She will outgrow the rainbow and dots soon enough.

[Anonymous]

OP, your child's room decor is for making the kid comfortable, not for your Instagram feed.

I can't believe this needs saying.

[Anonymous]

I think winter break is a bit late. I’d aim more for Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her pick out new sheets or a stuffed animal for the new room?

OP here. This is a great idea. One thing that I worry will be tough on my daughter is the decor stuff won’t be coming with her. I put a lot of thought into the decor of both rooms - hers is rainbow dots, his is sunflowers (this post is officially super identifying but whatever) and neither is getting redecorated at this time. So the rainbow sheets and curtains and rug and stuff on the walls, is all staying and we have plenty of sunflower stuff for the bed in the other room. But maybe like a stuffed sunflower or something else green or yellow that would be “hers” in her new room would be good. I was also thinking about maybe making like a painting with her name and a sunflower (she’s really into the letters of her name right now) that she could hang… lots to think about.

Sheets do not have to match a theme...let her pcik!