Haircut - am I being overly sensitive? Or would this bug you

[Anonymous]

I was long overdue for a haircut and went to my typical salon but my usual stylist just had a baby so I went with someone else- someone I'd never used before. I have BIG thick, wavy hair (2B) that does tend to get frizzy in the "underneath". First she asked me if I want the deep condition. "I really think you should. It would be really good." I said sure, and then she added in that it costs $35 extra so I declined. Then she spent the entirely of the shampoo/conditioner part telling me the proper way to care for my hair. "You should...XYZ." "You really need to be..." Then she asked what shampoo and conditioner I normally used and when I said my usual brand it was like she was surprised I actually use something good (non-drug store) and was prepared to tell me that the one I'm using is crap and I should use such and such instead. Back in the chair she continues to give me advice on hair care.

Does your stylist typically do this? I have seen my other lady for at least 5 years now and never had an experience like this so maybe this is just typical of getting a new stylist but I was kind of annoyed. I felt like I was in the dental chair being lectured for not flossing.

[Anonymous]

I had someone do this to me recently (not the stylist but the person washing my hair) and I wasn’t exactly annoyed, just sort of bored (like ffs lady I am well aware I have frizzy weird hair-I’ve had it for 43 years and have tried ALL the products and techniques, not looking for an infomercial at the moment)

[Anonymous]

How old was she? I find that women in their 20s or early 30s (as their own world broadens and they learn more) think any more older than them are a bunch of idiots. I only ever get "advice" from younger women.

[Anonymous]

"The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything"- Oscar Wilde

[Anonymous]

Maybe hair stylists are just getting way ruder and trying to hide their incompetence that way.

Once I moved to a new town and went to a new stylist that had come highly recommended. And she was just so bad, like your dental hygienist lecturer is so accurate. The interpersonal culture of my new region is quite abrasive so I thought, maybe it's a cultural miscommunication.

Well, I guess I should have realized it wasn't going to go well when she had me use the same shampoo chair as someone who was literally getting up from the shampoo sink as I was being led over. There was still the other client's hair in the shampoo bowl! And there were plenty of other shampoo chairs so IDK what that was about.

She didn't ask me anything about my hair, how I style it, what products i use, not even "how do you normally part your hair?". I asked for a one inch trim, same exact haircut I had coming in, even provided a photo of the last time i got it cut. And she was like, "no that won't look good on you" and again, that was probably a good sign to get up and leave.

And then she cut my hair unevenly in terrible layers (one side was much shorter than the other) and told me that I needed to flat iron my hair and also urged me to make a follow up appointment to get a perm and bangs. It was honestly comical by the end, good thing I am very chill about my hair.

[Anonymous]

Pr and partners op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old was she? I find that women in their 20s or early 30s (as their own world broadens and they learn more) think any more older than them are a bunch of idiots. I only ever get "advice" from younger women.

This.

I had no idea that I’d gone stupid at the age of 50, but many of these little 20-something’s sure think I have!

[Anonymous]

I would take it more as she was trying to make small talk with the only topic she knows.

I finally found a hairdresser that does not do any small talk. She’s great! She’s nice, but she doesn’t feel like she has to chitchat which for me is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe hair stylists are just getting way ruder and trying to hide their incompetence that way.

Once I moved to a new town and went to a new stylist that had come highly recommended. And she was just so bad, like your dental hygienist lecturer is so accurate. The interpersonal culture of my new region is quite abrasive so I thought, maybe it's a cultural miscommunication.

Well, I guess I should have realized it wasn't going to go well when she had me use the same shampoo chair as someone who was literally getting up from the shampoo sink as I was being led over. There was still the other client's hair in the shampoo bowl! And there were plenty of other shampoo chairs so IDK what that was about.

She didn't ask me anything about my hair, how I style it, what products i use, not even "how do you normally part your hair?". I asked for a one inch trim, same exact haircut I had coming in, even provided a photo of the last time i got it cut. And she was like, "no that won't look good on you" and again, that was probably a good sign to get up and leave.

And then she cut my hair unevenly in terrible layers (one side was much shorter than the other) and told me that I needed to flat iron my hair and also urged me to make a follow up appointment to get a perm and bangs. It was honestly comical by the end, good thing I am very chill about my hair.

Wow that sounds like too much.

I personally have the opposite problem. I have trouble with my wavy curly hair and want tips and products and style ideas. Even when I say I want a change and bring some photos I end up with practically the same boring haircut and no advice.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had stylists make me feel bad about how I do or don’t care for my hair. Fortunately I’ve found someone who is pretty laid back and non-judgement at about the level of maintenance I’m willing to commit to.

[Anonymous]

They a bullies. Most are. Oddly, that is their most common sale's technique.

[Anonymous]

Many of them do this; the way to make decent money as a stylist in many salons is to sell product. They get a commission. And some of the brands will actually sponsor contests -- "the one to sell the most insert-expensive-brand-here this week gets a $200 bonus," or whatever.

I actually enjoy listening to hair care advice and appreciate it, but you do have to separate out the actual good advice from what is simply an attempt to sell you conditioner or whatever, though.

I will say this -- when I went to an expensive salon in Tysons where the cost of just highlights was well over $300, I never had product pushed on me. At Hair Cuttery, it happens every time. So it's usually personal economics driving this...

[Anonymous]

$35 for a deep conditioning, lol. Does this include taking the bottle home?

[Anonymous]

I absolutely hate this and it’s so common. I also have thick, curly, difficult hair and the products they push never actually work. But it can make me feel self conscious through the whole appointment. I started asking to snap a picture of the product and telling them that if it lasts through the day then I’ll come back and buy it. Of course, it never lasts.

[Anonymous]

It's just hard upselling of product. I absolutely hate it. And IME upscale salons are just as guilty. Maybe even more so. They work on client insecurity and desire to keep up with everyone else and not be though of as "cheap".