Parent-teacher conferences

[Anonymous]

Good morning, everyone

As PTCs will soon be upon us - I am wondering about the expectations for it. We are both foreign born and raised parents and new to the school system, so are not always clued in to the local norms.

Specifically, we've heard from a couple of people that a PTC is the time to give a small gift to the teacher as gratitude (small gift card?). Clearly some people do it and I am sure there are plenty who don't, but I was wondering what is the "average" or "norm"? Would appreciate insights. Just want to be appropriate and not offend anyone.

Thank you and please be kind.

Have a wonderful day.

[Anonymous]

Giving gift cards is not appropriate during a PTC. Sometimes parents will donate to a class gift at Christmas or when it is Teacher Appreciation Week in May.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard of giving a gift to teachers at a parent-teacher conference, having been born and raised in the States by two teacher parents and having kids in the school system here for years. Gifts are normally given around December holidays, teacher appreciation week, and end of the school year. The parent-teacher conference is just a time for you to ask any questions and here about how your kid has been doing at school and to discuss any concerns. Giving a gift at that conference would feel really icky to me.

[Anonymous]

We always give starbucks gift cards $20. This is for ES school. Our kid is a B student. The teaches seem to appreciate it. It is a sign of respect for their profession and spending so much time teaching our kids.

We are not adversarial at the PT conference, we take any feedback seriously and help our child improve in that area.

We usually only have 1 PT confidence per year. And we also give a gift card at Christmas time also.

But, I do not think to many families do this.

[Anonymous]

No, no gifts. You may want to think of a question or two to ask the teacher. In my experience, there isn’t a lot of time for talk or questions. It’s mostly the teacher talking about your kid to you for 14 minutes, than a minute of question and answer.

[Anonymous]

We only gave one gift card on the last day of school. I never wanted to look like a brown noser parent. Always contributed school supplies when needed though, and volunteered in class if the teacher asked for parent help. I would never give a teacher a gift card at a PTC, OP. You look like you're buying off the teacher.

[Anonymous]

No gifts! That is super inappropriate and seems like bribery. Just no.

As for other things: arrive on time, don’t go over your time allotment, and you may consider sending questions to the teacher ahead of time if you have specific concerns you want to talk about.

[Anonymous]

No gifts. My parents never did that, and I've never done it nor heard of anyone else doing it at a parent/teacher conference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always give starbucks gift cards $20. This is for ES school. Our kid is a B student. The teaches seem to appreciate it. It is a sign of respect for their profession and spending so much time teaching our kids.

We are not adversarial at the PT conference, we take any feedback seriously and help our child improve in that area.

We usually only have 1 PT confidence per year. And we also give a gift card at Christmas time also.

But, I do not think to many families do this.

As a teacher I would not see it as a sign of respect for my profession to bring a gift card to parent teacher conferences. Save that for the end of the school year. You wouldn’t give your doctor a gift card for going over your test results with you. Don’t do think to your kid’s teacher either.

[Anonymous]

No gift! Gifts at the end of the year or Teacher Appreciation Week.

If you want the teacher to like you, chaperone field trips. If the teacher raises any concerns, take them seriously. Thats all you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Definitely no gifts! That would be considered very inappropriate. The teacher will share about how your child is doing in class and on any assessments if in elementary, you will listen, and then they will ask if you have any questions. You can ask things like how are they doing with peers in class? Is there anything we should be working on at home? things like that. It will be quick.

[Anonymous]

You are. Sick bird OP

[Anonymous]

Definitely is not the norm to give gifts at a parent teacher conference.

All you need to do is show up, be pleasant, and follow the teacher’s lead. Usually the teacher will present information about your child’s progress (and sometimes show examples of your child’s class work) while you mostly listen, and then at the end, take any questions you might have.

[Anonymous]

No gifts! Imagine how this would go:

"Larla is having trouble staying on task and is behind in her reading levels."
"Thank you for working with her, here is $20."

Tell me how that doesn't come across as bribery or fishing for favoritism.

Gifts should come at the end of the year when favoritism is no longer a risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No gifts! Imagine how this would go:

"Larla is having trouble staying on task and is behind in her reading levels."
"Thank you for working with her, here is $20."

Tell me how that doesn't come across as bribery or fishing for favoritism.

Gifts should come at the end of the year when favoritism is no longer a risk.

What about class wishlist items? I’ve asked kid’s teacher midyear if there are books or other items they want for their classroom. My reason is that at the beginning of the year it’s busy and they also don’t know what they need or want, but I didn’t want to wait until end of year because I want DD benefitting and getting to use those class tools or read those books, etc.