Pros/cons of quitting in HS

[Anonymous]

DD wants to quit swimming after several years of year-round training with a club and previous goal of swimming in college. She’s had lots of success and many benefits in and out of the pool. We want to respect her choice but worry she may regret it. What would others do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

I quit at that age - burnout is real and not fun. There are upsides and downsides, but the truth is - swimming is a lifelong sport and a year off ( or several months ) does not matter…if she misses it, she can always get back into shape and even still swim in college.

[Anonymous]

I would let my HS aged kid make that decision for themselves. My only caveat would be that they have to fill that time with some other activity, another sport, a job etc. and not just hanging out scrolling their phone. We’ve actually had a not insignificant number of kids at our club quit at the end of 8th grade and then come back to the more low key HS group when they are sophomores.

[Anonymous]

Maybe switch to a group with fewer days? Or does she hate swimming? Has she told you why she wants to quit? The response sort of depends on that, I think

[Anonymous]

NCAP Prep strikes again

[Anonymous]

Of the 8 senior girls on DDs HS team, only 3 were still doing club swim and juniors and only two are still with a club this year (one of whom almost never actually attends practice). It’s pretty common IME, especially with kids who do another sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NCAP Prep strikes again

?
OP gave no indication that she was an NCAP Prep family. You seem to have a serious vendetta against the site and it's frankly starting to get unhinged.

OP, when my DD went through a similar burnout, instead of quitting altogether she moved down a few practice groups (less intense practice + schedule) and really enjoyed that.

[Anonymous]

DD doesn’t need to make the decision now, right? I’d let this season play out and then be open minded about what comes next.

Swimming has been such a great experience for my kids in many way and we have encouraged them not to give it up completely, but also leave the decision up to them. There are decent options for continuing to swim in HS beyond club. We know many kids who swim on the HS team or summer team but no longer do club. Some drop back in club and just do a couple practices a week.

Serious club swimming in HS is a huge commitment that will impact her HS experience in good and bad ways. In terms of pros and cons, For my son, it keeps him fit, responsible, provides a good group of friends, teaches him how to organize his time and work hard. But it’s also grueling. He skips social events because he has early practice the next day, misses football games, isn’t able to commit to other desirable activities or play other sports he enjoys, and lives a life that is mostly swim, school, homework, lying exhausted on the couch. Things we would do as a family - ski trips, time visiting relatives, hosting get togethers with friends - happen less because of the swim schedule. Things like study abroad opportunities are complete non-starters. There are periods where he’s extremely worn out and grumpy.

Every year since 8th grade my son has talked about quitting. So far he’s ultimately decided to stick with is (he’s a sophomore), I think mostly because he enjoys the swim community and the friends he has there, doesn't quite know how he’d fill his time if he quit, and really enjoys showing off his swim physique . I would totally support him if he chose to quit, though would encourage him to continue with the HS team and consider continuing a couple days of club practice in a lower group (in 8th grade he wouldn’t consider that as an option but is open to swimming at a lower level now). He says he doesn’t want to swim in college, and I think that’s probably a good choice as there’s so much else to explore in college.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I appreciate the thoughtful responses and perspectives. My hope is that DD might want to get back to the pool for less intense training, especially if she decides to continue to swim for her HS team and summer team. One thing that may be hard about that is accepting that she won't be as fast or making improvements in the same way she did.

[Anonymous]

When my swimmer was a junior, he dropped down to a more flexible club training group (most teams have this) and spent more time with the HS team in season. Senior year, he consider quitting club, but felt he needed and would miss the exercise. Good for the brain and body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the thoughtful responses and perspectives. My hope is that DD might want to get back to the pool for less intense training, especially if she decides to continue to swim for her HS team and summer team. One thing that may be hard about that is accepting that she won't be as fast or making improvements in the same way she did.

Well, quitting altogether means she really doesn't care about improving times, right? So mow she can swim for herself, not for records. It's a healthy place to be.

[Anonymous]

Not exactly the same, but I quit fairly high level competitive gymnastics halfway through HS. (Quit club, still did HS team). I was burned out & wasn’t going to compete in college. It gave me a chance to try another sport, be in the spring musical, spend time with friends, have more time for homework, etc. It was a difficult choice, but I did not regret it in the end.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your child. Burnout is real and the way youth sports now, it's pretty common. So many of them are miserable in the sport by high school when they've been doing it intensely for too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the thoughtful responses and perspectives. My hope is that DD might want to get back to the pool for less intense training, especially if she decides to continue to swim for her HS team and summer team. One thing that may be hard about that is accepting that she won't be as fast or making improvements in the same way she did.

Well, quitting altogether means she really doesn't care about improving times, right? So mow she can swim for herself, not for records. It's a healthy place to be.

That is a good point. I think it is worth trying to figure out is it the sport itself or maybe some of the other things going on around. My sister quit basketball in high school, she was fed up with the coaches' kids trying to exclude her. I think she regrets not playing more.

I stuck with it, hating every minute, but looking back now that I have kids doing it. I actually like/liked the sport doing the drills and what, just not the things that went on around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the thoughtful responses and perspectives. My hope is that DD might want to get back to the pool for less intense training, especially if she decides to continue to swim for her HS team and summer team. One thing that may be hard about that is accepting that she won't be as fast or making improvements in the same way she did.

My high level junior left the sport prior to registering for this season. Coming back for HS season is still on the table. We'll see. It has to be their choice.