Does anyone else feel like they’re often forgotten?

[Anonymous]

I’m just trying to figure out why. This happens repeatedly to me at work where people will forget that I’m on a team or even that I used to work there. Also nobody from high school remembers me. I was somewhat popular with a pretty tight friend group but only they remember me. I’m social and nice in social situations but I’m definitely not outgoing. Does this happen to anyone else?

[Anonymous]

It’s because you’re not outgoing.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty forgettable. If you aren't outgoing and are too nice, people have no use for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty forgettable. If you aren't outgoing and are too nice, people have no use for you.

What do you mean by that?

[Anonymous]

Yep. All the time. I’m an only child raised by a single parent whose siblings had no children. I often assumed distant family to be close but realized after countless no invites to weddings or get togethers that I do not stand out and often think people are closer to me than they feel toward me.

[Anonymous]

All the time! I am very forgettable because I am quiet, reserved, physically small and mousy. I used to suffer through my social anxiety to at least be nice and show up, but now I just don't even try because I learned from experience that people won't remember me anyway. There was this weird incident of going to a new place of worship several times (within a few months' time), and the same guy introducing himself every time like we never met. Often I'll find out people I have known for many years socially don't have a clue about the most basic details about me while I know so much about them.

[Anonymous]

This is OP and I feel the same. I think I don’t share enough personally with people but I’m such a private person. I don’t know how to do it without feeling very awkward. I do have a very good friend who really broke into my shell and is now like an aunt to my kids. I see her every few days and we talk all the time. She is so friendly to everyone and is always meeting up with friends be colleagues and everyone loves her. Like they bring her up all the time.
She gets people to talk about themselves and is just so friendly and self depreciating but she also shares a lot about her life. Not sure I really aspire to do the same but it’s something I notice about her.

[Anonymous]

I've been forgotten. One time my father was visiting from out of town. He was staying at my brother's mansion (I live in a shoebox) and texted to ask if I was coming to dinner. I told him no, I wasn't invited. My SIL texted a few minutes later apologizing that she forgot me. This type of thing has happened more than once.

I think it's easy to forget me because I'm the poor and uneducated relative - I can't talk about my favorite cities in Italy or which hotel I like in Mexico. They see multiple Broadway shows each year. I go about once every 7 or 8 years. I've already asked all the questions to act interested. If I say I just read Chelsea Handler's new book, they went to see her live and are flying to Las Vegas to see Adele and got great seats and their friend got them reservations at an exclusive restaurant or something.

I spend a lot of time at those meals listening to them make plans with each other to meet up in Hawaii or NYC or Paris. So then they bond over these shared experiences. Occasionally one will remember I'm there and say "You should come!" and I'll smile and nod but the reality is I can't afford things like that.

So I wouldn't be surprised if on a subconscious level they purposely forget me because I make them uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been forgotten. One time my father was visiting from out of town. He was staying at my brother's mansion (I live in a shoebox) and texted to ask if I was coming to dinner. I told him no, I wasn't invited. My SIL texted a few minutes later apologizing that she forgot me. This type of thing has happened more than once.

I think it's easy to forget me because I'm the poor and uneducated relative - I can't talk about my favorite cities in Italy or which hotel I like in Mexico. They see multiple Broadway shows each year. I go about once every 7 or 8 years. I've already asked all the questions to act interested. If I say I just read Chelsea Handler's new book, they went to see her live and are flying to Las Vegas to see Adele and got great seats and their friend got them reservations at an exclusive restaurant or something.

I spend a lot of time at those meals listening to them make plans with each other to meet up in Hawaii or NYC or Paris. So then they bond over these shared experiences. Occasionally one will remember I'm there and say "You should come!" and I'll smile and nod but the reality is I can't afford things like that.

So I wouldn't be surprised if on a subconscious level they purposely forget me because I make them uncomfortable.

I’m sorry PP. That is just plain rude and mean, especially since they are family. People should know their audience and find things that everybody can talk about.

[Anonymous]

Happens to me but more in context that I am reintroducing myself for the third time to a person I remember well. It’s so insulting and infuriating.

[Anonymous]

I’m continually surprised by how much pain so many adults are carrying. I have a troubled family history, but was lucky enough to hit rock bottom at 19 and discover therapy. Please, please, please find someone to talk to. I promise these people carry as much pain as you. You see what they want you to see. And remember that “hurt people hurt people”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happens to me but more in context that I am reintroducing myself for the third time to a person I remember well. It’s so insulting and infuriating.

That’s when you chuckle and say “guess I’ll have to find a way to make a bigger impression the 4th time I meet you if I’m so lucky!” If this bothers you, that’s about your own lack of self confidence and that shines through in your interactions.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Nobody ever invites me anywhere. I’m quiet, reserved and pretty boring.

Whenever I’m in a group I overhear people talking about their get togethers. It’s like I am invisible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Nobody ever invites me anywhere. I’m quiet, reserved and pretty boring.

Whenever I’m in a group I overhear people talking about their get togethers. It’s like I am invisible.

I just got invited somewhere for November and it's the second time in 2024 I was invited by a non-relative. And it's someone I've known for like eight YEARS. That's how long it's taken.

[Anonymous]

All of these posts describe me, but I guess I’m lucky because I don’t really care about being remembered. I find it uncomfortable and very hard to socialize, but at age 50, it no longer bothers me. So I’ve stopped trying.

My teen says I need “mom friends” and doesn’t understand why I don’t want to hang out with the other parents at the before homecoming party next weekend, but it’s because they’re going to party and drink until the kids get out. I’d rather hang at home alone.