Is there a vacation/staycation happy medium?

[Anonymous]

I desperately want to get away this fall in October. Things didn’t really work out for us this summer and I just want to go somewhere relaxing with my family (DH and our 13yo.) But the thing is, I can’t justify the cost!

This weekend we all F, Sa, Su off. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to have a “staycation”, and while we did do a couple local “fall-ish” things and only ate take out, I found the whole weekend to be a major let down because we were home and it didn’t feel relaxing or connected.

I found a resort three hours away with hiking options, on-site recreation and restaurants, plus an outdoor hot tub. It sounds like the perfect early fall getaway. But it’ll cost over $1000 for the weekend and I worry it will be just as underwhelming.

What is the happy medium?

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to spend the money, then plan a nice daytrip somewhere. Just do something the three of you would enjoy. It doesn’t have to be a “staycation” (that’s such a DC phrase to me).

[Anonymous]

Staycation doesn’t mean you literally stay at home. You go out on day trips.
Go to Annapolis for the day and walk around and get lunch somewhere on the water.

[Anonymous]

Go to Assateauge for the day and enjoy the still warm water. Make plans to stop somewhere cute on the way home for a special dinner

[Anonymous]

Look for an airbnb. Obviously you have to spend some money, but it can be nice and cozy to stay in a cute cabin or little house in the woods right near hiking trails. My family does this every fall and we bring board games, get groceries to cook meals like chili and stuff to make s’mores. You can watch a movie together at night.

[Anonymous]

For a three day weekend i find the most relaxing to be get up early Friday and head somewhere spend the night, drive home Saturday night and then you have Sunday to relax at home. You’re only paying for one night of lodging so It can be less expensive. I would personally pick a nice hotel and room service breakfast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to Assateauge for the day and enjoy the still warm water. Make plans to stop somewhere cute on the way home for a special dinner

I'd stay at least one night, else that's a lot of driving.

[Anonymous]

Hire someone to deep clean your house the day before your staycation. That'll make being at home feel different.

[Anonymous]

I think it's very personal but also depends on what your goals are, which may follow from what is stressing you out now. I can't tell from your post if you're craving family time, hiking or other activities you think you don't do enough of at home, relief from particular current stressors, relief from whatever didn't go well in the summer, and/or a replacement for a longer and fancier summer vacation you had to miss, or some combination. And which, if any, of those you reflexively tell yourself you should or shouldn't do while judging yourself and/or because everyone else does or doesn't do them.

You probably know which things I mentioned above are most true for you if you are honest with yourself, but it's easy to get caught up in your head. What I do is go to a library or coffee shop and brain dump like literally just write at the top of a journal page "why I need a vacation" or "things stressing me out" or "things I want to do more of" and start writing lists. When I do that, they tend to evolve into solutions or at least feeling like it makes sense to be stressed with all that been happening. You could even write out what specifically was dissatisfying about the staycation you tried-- distractions of home chores, family members falling into patterns of hiding in their rooms, not seeing any new sites, or whatever.

Then once you've identified what you need most, you can list possible solutions without judgment. I will go out on a limb and guess your parents (or maybe being poor at some point) stressed not wasting money, but the thing is, sometimes you may need to spend money to get something you really value. Sometimes you may not need to (e.g., booking a resort because that's supposed to be relaxing but it's not actually to you), but I think being as honest as possible in your brain dump can make that clearer and ease the guilt if you determine that sleeping away from your house is less relaxing.

For me, I wouldn't go to a resort because I don't care about resort amenities, but I have no problem getting a local hotel room for a night or two when I'm really stressed, but I know that works for me so it's worth the money. I am very clear with myself that I'm purchasing calm and quiet, which ties back to my values and what I'm craving at the time and ultimately helps me be a better family member.

I don't think I could fully relax in a staycation sleeping at my house, but what I could and have done on some long weekends when I stayed home is work on other goals/local bucket list items, after spending the first day off on the laundry list of tasks that were stressing me out. I also scheduled tickets/timed entry or meeting someone at a certain time and stay out all day. I'd have eaten take out as picnics in your case, for instance, so that I'm really only sleeping at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's very personal but also depends on what your goals are, which may follow from what is stressing you out now. I can't tell from your post if you're craving family time, hiking or other activities you think you don't do enough of at home, relief from particular current stressors, relief from whatever didn't go well in the summer, and/or a replacement for a longer and fancier summer vacation you had to miss, or some combination. And which, if any, of those you reflexively tell yourself you should or shouldn't do while judging yourself and/or because everyone else does or doesn't do them.

You probably know which things I mentioned above are most true for you if you are honest with yourself, but it's easy to get caught up in your head. What I do is go to a library or coffee shop and brain dump like literally just write at the top of a journal page "why I need a vacation" or "things stressing me out" or "things I want to do more of" and start writing lists. When I do that, they tend to evolve into solutions or at least feeling like it makes sense to be stressed with all that been happening. You could even write out what specifically was dissatisfying about the staycation you tried-- distractions of home chores, family members falling into patterns of hiding in their rooms, not seeing any new sites, or whatever.

Then once you've identified what you need most, you can list possible solutions without judgment. I will go out on a limb and guess your parents (or maybe being poor at some point) stressed not wasting money, but the thing is, sometimes you may need to spend money to get something you really value. Sometimes you may not need to (e.g., booking a resort because that's supposed to be relaxing but it's not actually to you), but I think being as honest as possible in your brain dump can make that clearer and ease the guilt if you determine that sleeping away from your house is less relaxing.

For me, I wouldn't go to a resort because I don't care about resort amenities, but I have no problem getting a local hotel room for a night or two when I'm really stressed, but I know that works for me so it's worth the money. I am very clear with myself that I'm purchasing calm and quiet, which ties back to my values and what I'm craving at the time and ultimately helps me be a better family member.

I don't think I could fully relax in a staycation sleeping at my house, but what I could and have done on some long weekends when I stayed home is work on other goals/local bucket list items, after spending the first day off on the laundry list of tasks that were stressing me out. I also scheduled tickets/timed entry or meeting someone at a certain time and stay out all day. I'd have eaten take out as picnics in your case, for instance, so that I'm really only sleeping at home.

I meant don't feel guilty spending $ on lodging if you determine sleeping away from your house is MORE relaxing....

[Anonymous]

Your bigger issue is you don’t like spending money. If that gets in the way of you enjoying things, it might be something to deal with. $1000 for a much needed 3 nights away isn’t a lot, unless you can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is so obvious you've probably already rejected it, but why not just stay somewhere cheaper? We do a lot of long weekend camping trips in state parks. You can rent mini cabins and yurts if you don't want to deal with a tent or weather risk (although they book early so you can probably only find tent spots for peak October weekends at this point). It's $30-100 a night depending on the accommodations.

There are also cheap hotels. There's a lot of distance between staying home and at a resort.

[Anonymous]

Stay home but go on day trips
St Michaels
Harpers Ferry
Out to DC

eat lunch and dinner out.

[Anonymous]

Camp!

[Anonymous]

I do think that getting out of the house helps to connect with teens. I didn't feel this way when my kids were younger. But teens are so independent and they understandably default to their private spaces at home or hanging out with their friends over creating family time on a "staycation". So I would vote for a nearby airbnb or hotel or camping if you're trying to create family time over a long weekend. My kids love going to Philly over a long weekend for a night or two.