My teens drive me nuts

Anonymous
Good students, they have hobbies, work, sports, do a lot of things right, but they have the most rotten attitude at times. It feels absolutely awful and like we rarely ever have a good time or outing. Today I ended up not going somewhere with dd because she was being so incredibly rude about everything I said forget it, I am going to stay home and you go. I feel like the lack of reciprocity is really getting to me. I don't even want a thank you, just a decent attitude for things I am essentially doing for them.
Anonymous
same here...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Good students, they have hobbies, work, sports, do a lot of things right, but they have the most rotten attitude at times. It feels absolutely awful and like we rarely ever have a good time or outing. Today I ended up not going somewhere with dd because she was being so incredibly rude about everything I said forget it, I am going to stay home and you go. I feel like the lack of reciprocity is really getting to me. I don't even want a thank you, just a decent attitude for things I am essentially doing for them.


Welcome to the club.
Anonymous
Try to resurrect the repressed memories of YOU at that age. It is a feature not a bug. Deal with it.
Anonymous
I really was never like that according to my mother. Is it just today's teens or was I just an unusually nice kid?
Anonymous
Yes yes yes. You have another four or five years, and then it gets better.
Anonymous
Yup. It's hell being the parent of a teen. They're rude, grouchy and ungrateful. Not ALL the time, but often enough to make your life miserable.
Anonymous
All i want is a good attitude in return is the truth!! I will literally do anything for them to enjoy themselves. I have two teenage girls. When they're both happy, it is glorious
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I really was never like that according to my mother. Is it just today's teens or was I just an unusually nice kid?


I was definitely sad, grumpy, moody very often as a teen, but I also spent less time with my parents so it didn't get as aggravating: I ate and then went to my room, out of sight, out of mind. I interact with my kids so much more, do more with them, for them, they share so much more...and that results in more visible and frequent rudeness.
Anonymous
My kid was not like that, and she’s almost thirty. She was always an asygping person, but she knew I would not tolerate rudeness or unkindness. I never treated my mother like that, either, as I’d have been knocked across the room. My daughter was never afraid of me, but also knew what was acceptable.

You need to have a family meeting where everyone has a chance to say their part. They are not realizing the impact of their words and actions on you, because they are self-involved, but you can make them aware. Make a plan with their input about to be respectful even when in a bad mood. They have to learn that we are polite to people we love, just like you would hope they are if they get married or live with a partner. Make a list together of what is and isn’t acceptable and allow them to add to it, like maybe they think you nag. Ev3n if you don’t think so, wrote it down.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yup. It's hell being the parent of a teen. They're rude, grouchy and ungrateful. Not ALL the time, but often enough to make your life miserable.


+1

Man, I was SO hard on my parents, but not at all a bad kid. Just spoiling the nest, which is quite common.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I really was never like that according to my mother. Is it just today's teens or was I just an unusually nice kid?


Not all teens are like that. My 16 year old is a really sweet, even-tempered kid. I honestly can’t imagine her saying anything rude or snarky to us (although she does to her little brother). Not bragging, it’s just her personality.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really was never like that according to my mother. Is it just today's teens or was I just an unusually nice kid?


Not all teens are like that. My 16 year old is a really sweet, even-tempered kid. I honestly can’t imagine her saying anything rude or snarky to us (although she does to her little brother). Not bragging, it’s just her personality.


+1

I have three teens, and 2 are quite easy. They have their occasional moments but are generally sweet/polite and even tempered.

1 of the 3 is very difficult. It is a challenge but I don’t take it personally.
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