Young Son Blurts Out Things. Should I Be Worried?
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Anonymous
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Our youngest child is a boy about to start second grade this week. He is a great kid but I worry about him being teased as he sometimes comes across as gay. He has seen his two older sisters swoon over their favorite TV actor and this morning when we were watching TV just the two of us, he copied his sisters by giggling, "He's cute!" when he saw that particular actor on the TV. Maybe he was just trying to be funny by imitating his sisters but I think I should warn him that boys can get bullied if they say things like that.
This past weekend, our son had a boy from his school come over to our house for a playdate. I was glad to watch the boys playing frisbee and having fun in our backyard but the friend's briefs were sticking out in the back. I was afraid my son would make fun of him but instead he blurted out, "Oh, I wear the exact same kind of underwear as you!" The friend blushed red and I think I should tell my son that even though he was just trying to be friendly, things like that can make people embarrassed. Should I worry that my son blurts out things like this? Would you find a way to warn him to be more careful? |
Anonymous
| I don't think you should try to keep him from being bullied. If he gets bullied, be his soft place to land. With the underwear comment though, I might encourage him not to talk about other people's bodies or clothes except to compliment them. But in this case he probably meant it as a compliment--since he had the same ones--and may not get what you're trying to say. None of this seems out of the range of normal for a 7yo boy, but if you are worried about his social skills more generally, I'd focus on that. He may or may not be gay, he may or may not be bullied. But you can help him be a good friend and show him how you accept him. That will only help him throughout his life. |
Anonymous
| Shaming your child and making him self-conscious is not going to keep him from blurting out things or help him have a filter. Please don't go down this road. |
Anonymous
| I think you treat everything as if it's normal b/c it is |
Anonymous
| Why did you post this in the LGBTQIA+ section, OP? |
Anonymous
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Op here. Thanks for responding! I spoke with my sister this morning and she recommends that when the sisters' favorite TV star comes on he should say, "He's cool!" instead of "He's cute!"
"I might encourage him not to talk about other people's bodies or clothes except to compliment them. But in this case he probably meant it as a compliment--since he had the same ones--" Yes, he totally meant it as a compliment and was trying to be nice. I explained to my son that his friend felt badly that his new back-to-school pants were a little big for him and my son should have just shrugged, "Don't worry about it. We all wear underwear." |
Anonymous
| How many times are you planning to script this kid? |
Anonymous
| Is your kid autistic? That would explain most of this including the mirroring with his older sisters. |
Anonymous
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It all seems normal to me! I mean this kindly, but your perspective may be skewed by older girls.
My 9 and 6 year old sons say wacky things to their friends all the time. Their friends say equally odd things back. In my experience, most boys this age are kind of silly and say all sorts of goofy things. Your son sounds awesome and I wouldn’t try to steer him to be different. Kids gets teased for all kinds of things and I wouldn’t want to tell him (especially this young!) that he needs to change himself out of fear that someone might make fun of him. To me, that’s way more harmful than being eventually teased for something random. If he’s actually teased and doesn’t like it, he can decide at that point if/how he wants to change. Your son sounds sweet and kind so please just enjoy him! |
Anonymous
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Pp from 15:55 here.
I meant to add that I’d also encourage you to think about what specifically you’re worried about. It sounds like you’re concerned that people might think your son is gay. It’s worth examining why that worries you. Would you be ok if he is gay? By telling your son that he needs to change so that nobody thinks he’s gay, you’re signaling to him that it’s perhaps not actually ok to be gay. That may not be your intention but as a baby lesbian, I reached similar conclusions as a kid when my mom started giving me advice similar to what you’re telling your son. That ultimately meant that I concealed my sexuality from my parents for years. If you’re open to it, the better approach might be to start casually saying that you support gay rights, that Pride is cool, etc. |
Anonymous
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He sounds totally normal?
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Anonymous
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You sound disturbingly worried that your son might be gay.
He sounds totally normal. There are many ways of being a heterosexual boy. I don't know why you posted this in this forum. I don't know why you're so obsessed. Maybe you're just a troll. I hope so, otherwise you're a pretty crappy parent. |
Anonymous
| The only person that is going to bully your son is YOU by this bizarre unwarranted pressure against everything he does "being gay". Chill out! |
Anonymous
Because OP is afraid people will think her son is gay and wants advice on how to keep him in the closet. |
Anonymous
How about you ask him what he means when he says things you don't understand, instead of telling him to say things you want him to mean? |